The Student Room Group

Hard to enjoy grandparents company?

:frown:
(edited 2 years ago)
Original post by Noodlestudent
I’ve tried really hard to enjoy their company but they seem to be interested for about an hour and then just talk to my dad. Thing is my dad has this thing about always wanting us to go down to see them together, he is really adamant about it and tries to guilt trip me. I’ve tried to develop a wider relationship with them but they are also very critical. Like they always make jokes about how I’m too lazy (even though I’ve been doing a lot of work experience in the summer holidays). It’s to the point where I genuinely worry over days we have to go. Does anyone feel the same about their grandparents and what did you do about it?


Don’t feel forced. Leave it and have a sit down with your dad and discuss this as maturely as you can.
Original post by Noodlestudent
Thank you for your advice! I have tried a couple of times but he just seems to stuck in his ways about it.


He will feel like that as family talk does make people sensitive but I’m positive you can resolve this somehow!
I get it I have overbearing grand parents I'm not even 16 yet, 4 days, and they are already telling me to get a job and saying I'm lazy for relaxing after doing my GCSEs. I get the guilt rip thing, on my birthday last year my dad forced me to go see them when I want speaking to them after they said if I continued to only live with my mum I would fail in life. Then my dad screamed at me for not being civil enough when I was forced to go round. I used to see them every Saturday and it was the same jokes same thing and they would treat me like I was 5 so I just stopped seeing them and cut anyone out that made me feel bad about it. I know not everyone could or would want to do it but know that you aren't alone and that there is nothing wrong with you. Don't try and change yourself to fit in with them and don't feel guilty because I know my grandparents prioritize my father over me and I can't change that and nor do I feel bad because I am me and if they font like that then whatever.
Original post by Noodlestudent
I’ve tried really hard to enjoy their company but they seem to be interested for about an hour and then just talk to my dad. Thing is my dad has this thing about always wanting us to go down to see them together, he is really adamant about it and tries to guilt trip me. I’ve tried to develop a wider relationship with them but they are also very critical. Like they always make jokes about how I’m too lazy (even though I’ve been doing a lot of work experience in the summer holidays). It’s to the point where I genuinely worry over days we have to go. Does anyone feel the same about their grandparents and what did you do about it?


Just do your hour with them hen go and mess on your phone. If they arent interested then I wouldnt waste the time. You could try taking them out but it just sounds awkward.
I love going to visit my nan, use the time to talk about my mum and any other family members who have annoyed me since the last visit. It's therapeutic! :biggrin:
you seem whiny and entitled.

sadly all my grandparents have passed away, making a small family even smaller. stop complaining about trivial things, and enjoy the time you have with your grandparents.
Reply 7
This probably isnt what you want to hear but you should be so grateful that you can visit your grandparents as often as you want. My grandparents live so far away and flights usually cost about £1000+ per person that i only get to see them every year or two and even then just for a month. Spend this time with them while you can.
I have 17 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren. I don’t get to see all of them all of the time, but can use Skype and WhatsApp.
Original post by Noodlestudent
I’ve tried really hard to enjoy their company but they seem to be interested for about an hour and then just talk to my dad. Thing is my dad has this thing about always wanting us to go down to see them together, he is really adamant about it and tries to guilt trip me. I’ve tried to develop a wider relationship with them but they are also very critical. Like they always make jokes about how I’m too lazy (even though I’ve been doing a lot of work experience in the summer holidays). It’s to the point where I genuinely worry over days we have to go. Does anyone feel the same about their grandparents and what did you do about it?


You might as well tough it out so you have no regrets when they inevitably kick the bucket. How often do you visit? My family visits every fortnight which is optimal in my opinion.

Luckily, my grandmother is still a good cook so the food gives me a reason to actually want to visit.

Your grandparents sound similar to mine. They seem to almost enjoy criticising every facet of my being, even when they have no solid information to go on. When they have nothing to actually criticise me for, they'll make something up about me to criticise:

"Oh I bet you're going to be really lazy when you get to university this September", "mummy and daddy won't be around to cook for you anymore, welcome to the real world", "when I was your age, I could run X miles in Y minutes, why don't you do some real exercise?"

Old people are surprisingly toxic lol. Worst of all is the fact that their stunted brains can't be reasoned with. All you can do is smile and wait for them to die :rofl:
Original post by Noodlestudent
I’m not whiny and entitled, I’m sorry to hear about your grandparents but my mother have really suffered due to their treatment. So I’m actually trying to prevent this relationship from breaking down completely and they don’t really seem to care. I didn’t include it as it’s long and unnecessary to explain.


ok, I was harsh, bitter I guess.

every family is different I realise, I was incredibly incredibly close to my maternal grandparents, they looked after me for a year. when I moved to the UK it was difficult, and when they passed away (young btw, my grandma was 62) I couldnt attend the funeral due to visa restrictions.

I guess, I'd still just put up with it for the sake of it. people's words mean nothing in the long run. only weak people actually let people's words affect them for the worse.
Original post by Noodlestudent
Aww that sounds nice! Don’t really have that close of a relationship with my grandparents.


I don't particularly have a close one with my parents so I guess it's a trade-off.

Quick Reply

Latest