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    Tonight, the police came round to me and my boyfriend's student house after our neighbours (who only moved in a few days ago) reported that they heard a lot of shouting, suspecting domestic violence.

    My boyfriend had a bit to drink and he was falling round the place shouting 'help' and was drunk crying a lot. I got annoyed a bit and asked him to calm down ect. It was nothing major at all. I absolutely cannot believe that this happened.

    All our information was taken down and I was asked to leave the house for a 'calm down' walk even though we were both completely calm, and both made it clear that we really wanted to stay together. It's crazy. If I didn't leave the house, I was told that I would be taken to a cell for the night.

    I was shaking in shock and anxiety about the whole thing. How something can be so drastically misinterpreted is beyond me.

    Anyway, we're now both really worried if this will be on our criminal record. And will our universities be informed of what's happened? There was no caution, conviction, warning... or anything of the sort at all. Surely they wouldn't take this to university? I work for the council too, which is another big worry.

    What do you guys think?

    God, I can't believe this has happened. We are such a conflict-free relationship, and to have two policemen enter your house and demand that we be separated is beyond belief.
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    (Original post by EddyEagal)
    Tonight, the police came round to me and my boyfriend's student house after our neighbours (who only moved in a few days ago) reported that they heard a lot of shouting, suspecting domestic violence.

    My boyfriend had a bit to drink and he was falling round the place shouting 'help' and was drunk crying a lot. I got annoyed a bit and asked him to calm down ect. It was nothing major at all. I absolutely cannot believe that this happened.

    All our information was taken down and I was asked to leave the house for a 'calm down' walk even though we were both completely calm, and both made it clear that we really wanted to stay together. It's crazy. If I didn't leave the house, I was told that I would be taken to a cell for the night.

    I was shaking in shock and anxiety about the whole thing. How something can be so drastically misinterpreted is beyond me.

    Anyway, we're now both really worried if this will be on our criminal record. And will our universities be informed of what's happened? There was no caution, conviction, warning... or anything of the sort at all. Surely they wouldn't take this to university? I work for the council too, which is another big worry.

    What do you guys think?

    God, I can't believe this has happened. We are such a conflict-free relationship, and to have two policemen enter your house and demand that we be separated is beyond belief.
    That sounds terrible! I hope you and your boyfriend are okay.

    You should let your professors (or someone else at your uni) know. Tell them about the situation.

    Talking to a trusted adult about it will almost certainly help.
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    You'll be fine.
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    (Original post by gjd800)
    You'll be fine.
    You don't think universities will be told?
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    (Original post by EddyEagal)
    You don't think universities will be told?
    Nah, don't worry about it.
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    Thanks guys
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    (Original post by EddyEagal)
    Tonight, the police came round to me and my boyfriend's student house after our neighbours (who only moved in a few days ago) reported that they heard a lot of shouting, suspecting domestic violence.

    My boyfriend had a bit to drink and he was falling round the place shouting 'help' and was drunk crying a lot. I got annoyed a bit and asked him to calm down ect. It was nothing major at all. I absolutely cannot believe that this happened.

    All our information was taken down and I was asked to leave the house for a 'calm down' walk even though we were both completely calm, and both made it clear that we really wanted to stay together. It's crazy. If I didn't leave the house, I was told that I would be taken to a cell for the night.

    I was shaking in shock and anxiety about the whole thing. How something can be so drastically misinterpreted is beyond me.

    Anyway, we're now both really worried if this will be on our criminal record. And will our universities be informed of what's happened? There was no caution, conviction, warning... or anything of the sort at all. Surely they wouldn't take this to university? I work for the council too, which is another big worry.

    What do you guys think?

    God, I can't believe this has happened. We are such a conflict-free relationship, and to have two policemen enter your house and demand that we be separated is beyond belief.
    Just to set your mind at rest, this would definitely not go on your criminal record (or your boyfriend's), since neither of you have been charged with anything. You do not need to inform your university or your place of work, since it was really all just a misunderstanding.

    The "calm down" walk was really more of a "get you on your own just in case you want to tell the officer something in private" walk. The police do this in case you don't feel comfortable speaking out while at home for any reason. In real cases of domestic abuse, it can be very difficult to get the victim to speak out, so that's why they end up doing stuff like this, even if it seems unnecessary. Always better to be safe than sorry.
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    (Original post by Dez)
    Just to set your mind at rest, this would definitely not go on your criminal record (or your boyfriend's), since neither of you have been charged with anything. You do not need to inform your university or your place of work, since it was really all just a misunderstanding.

    The "calm down" walk was really more of a "get you on your own just in case you want to tell the officer something in private" walk. The police do this in case you don't feel comfortable speaking out while at home for any reason. In real cases of domestic abuse, it can be very difficult to get the victim to speak out, so that's why they end up doing stuff like this, even if it seems unnecessary. Always better to be safe than sorry.
    That's great - thanks so much for that, really appreciate it

    So, whilst I don't have to inform my university, the police won't be reaching out to them either? I was worried that they'd contact them just to be sure.
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    Please tell us if he abuses you, domestic violence sufferers need to speak out.
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    Honestly, they don't have the time to be making calls to a uni when there has been no evidence or any serious matter, I mean this doesn't even count as a low level matter honestly. It needs to happen more than once for someone to even read the log the officer will have inputted into the systems.

    You will have no criminal record, it will only be saved as intelligence for the police, which is understandably in case something happens in the future, they need to keep account or else those officers would get into a lot of trouble. So don't worry that they took your information, especially if you've never been involved with the police before.

    I don't see the need for you to tell your University honestly unless it was on campus. Even then, they would be aware in that case, so I do not see the need for that conversation. Just be wary of neighbours and maybe avoid it happening again.

    So yeah don't worry about it. Here in the West Mids, this would be a joke, they wouldn't even come down after a burglary, only reason they did was in case there was actual abuse, they have to safeguard and hence its a priority.
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    You should probably consider how loud you're being in the future. Clearly you don't exactly have the thickest walls!
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    (Original post by EddyEagal)
    Tonight, the police came round to me and my boyfriend's student house after our neighbours (who only moved in a few days ago) reported that they heard a lot of shouting, suspecting domestic violence.

    My boyfriend had a bit to drink and he was falling round the place shouting 'help' and was drunk crying a lot. I got annoyed a bit and asked him to calm down ect. It was nothing major at all. I absolutely cannot believe that this happened.

    All our information was taken down and I was asked to leave the house for a 'calm down' walk even though we were both completely calm, and both made it clear that we really wanted to stay together. It's crazy. If I didn't leave the house, I was told that I would be taken to a cell for the night.

    I was shaking in shock and anxiety about the whole thing. How something can be so drastically misinterpreted is beyond me.

    Anyway, we're now both really worried if this will be on our criminal record. And will our universities be informed of what's happened? There was no caution, conviction, warning... or anything of the sort at all. Surely they wouldn't take this to university? I work for the council too, which is another big worry.

    What do you guys think?

    God, I can't believe this has happened. We are such a conflict-free relationship, and to have two policemen enter your house and demand that we be separated is beyond belief.


    Noise Act 1996
    https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1996/37/contents

    This applies to university on-campus accommodation as well, I used to use it to shut up the entire floor of people after 12 p.m.
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    The threat to arrest you is a lie and relies on your not understanding the law. My mate is a copper and he did the exact same thing; said he would nick the suspected victim in a DV case if she didn't leave the house. He had a complaint against him which was upheld.
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    if you're staying at your school's student accommodation, then they will probably be informed that the police came over (sorry ) but yeah no, this doesn't add to your criminal record. hope you're doing okay over there.
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    Thanks for all the responses - appreciate it

    Just to be clear, we live in a private student house - not on campus.

    Also... we're fine! Neither of us are 'abusers' or 'victims', but thanks for some of your worries lol.
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    (Original post by EddyEagal)
    Tonight, the police came round to me and my boyfriend's student house after our neighbours (who only moved in a few days ago) reported that they heard a lot of shouting, suspecting domestic violence.

    My boyfriend had a bit to drink and he was falling round the place shouting 'help' and was drunk crying a lot. I got annoyed a bit and asked him to calm down ect. It was nothing major at all. I absolutely cannot believe that this happened.

    All our information was taken down and I was asked to leave the house for a 'calm down' walk even though we were both completely calm, and both made it clear that we really wanted to stay together. It's crazy. If I didn't leave the house, I was told that I would be taken to a cell for the night.

    I was shaking in shock and anxiety about the whole thing. How something can be so drastically misinterpreted is beyond me.

    Anyway, we're now both really worried if this will be on our criminal record. And will our universities be informed of what's happened? There was no caution, conviction, warning... or anything of the sort at all. Surely they wouldn't take this to university? I work for the council too, which is another big worry.

    What do you guys think?

    God, I can't believe this has happened. We are such a conflict-free relationship, and to have two policemen enter your house and demand that we be separated is beyond belief.
    I would be shocked this goes further than last night it was probably your boyfriend shouting help that did it maybe.
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    (Original post by Dez)
    The "calm down" walk was really more of a "get you on your own just in case you want to tell the officer something in private" walk. The police do this in case you don't feel comfortable speaking out while at home for any reason. In real cases of domestic abuse, it can be very difficult to get the victim to speak out, so that's why they end up doing stuff like this, even if it seems unnecessary. Always better to be safe than sorry.
    Then why did they ask OP to go for a walk rather than the boyfriend?
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    (Original post by EddyEagal)
    Tonight, the police came round to me and my boyfriend's student house after our neighbours (who only moved in a few days ago) reported that they heard a lot of shouting, suspecting domestic violence.

    My boyfriend had a bit to drink and he was falling round the place shouting 'help' and was drunk crying a lot. I got annoyed a bit and asked him to calm down ect. It was nothing major at all. I absolutely cannot believe that this happened.

    All our information was taken down and I was asked to leave the house for a 'calm down' walk even though we were both completely calm, and both made it clear that we really wanted to stay together. It's crazy. If I didn't leave the house, I was told that I would be taken to a cell for the night.

    I was shaking in shock and anxiety about the whole thing. How something can be so drastically misinterpreted is beyond me.

    Anyway, we're now both really worried if this will be on our criminal record. And will our universities be informed of what's happened? There was no caution, conviction, warning... or anything of the sort at all. Surely they wouldn't take this to university? I work for the council too, which is another big worry.

    What do you guys think?

    God, I can't believe this has happened. We are such a conflict-free relationship, and to have two policemen enter your house and demand that we be separated is beyond belief.
    No and what the others said dont worry.

    Hard to say as I wasnt there but there are two sides to the situation. I dont think there would be anything vindictive by the new neighbours and I would guess they were genuinely concerned at the noise coming through the walls especially any raised voices and crying.. Clearly it was loud enough for them to act and people are usually reluctant to call the police, so maybe your recollection of the impression created might have been off?

    Maybe you can have a non confrontational clear the air with the new neighbours so neither of you feel like you are treading on eggshells.
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    (Original post by AngeryPenguin)
    Then why did they ask OP to go for a walk rather than the boyfriend?
    Actually yes - you're right. I was asked by the police to go for a walk, and I was the one who was told that I would have to spend a night in the cell if I didn't leave the house. In contrast, my boyfriend was taken upstairs and was talked to as though he was the victim. He was repeatedly assured that he could file a domestic violence complaint against me - with absolutely no grounding whatsoever for that... and to my boyfriend's own bemusement and disgust.

    This treatment was based only on stereotypes. Neither of us ever expressed any fear or worry, and both of us (before being separated in the house) made it absolutely clear that we were completely fine and wanted to stay together. Yet somehow, the police came to the complete random inference that I was the 'abuser' and my boyfriend was the 'victim'. We found this really insulting and really quite disrespectful, as it was clearly based on gay stereotypes. My boyfriend is, I suppose, a little bit more feminine than I am... and me, a little more masculine.

    The use of these stereotypes were highly degrading and an example of how the police do not have the correct approach to LGBT couples. We were immediately categorised as an abusive man and a weak woman - which, in itself, is not only slightly homophobic but also incredibly sexist.

    Anyway, that's not really the point of this thread... but just thought I'd clear everything up, as I've seen a few posters alluring to me being the 'victim' - not that either of us, but you get the point.
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    Could this maybe be as simple as your boyfriend was the one shouting 'help? and hence whoever reported you may have said they heard a male shouting for help?
 
 
 
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