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Is my boyfriend trying to keep me fat?

We have been dating for almost 4 years when I met him I was slim and fit into a 6/8 but once I went on the pill had an allergic reaction to it and to start off with put on 20kg boyfriend refused to wear condoms so didn't really have a choice but to take it which in turn has destroyed my immune system and I now get regular migraines. After I finally did go off it I slowly started to loose the weight again but then he started pumping with take away and sugary snacks. So I put on an additional 30 kgs which I'm disgusted with every time I went on a diet or started exercising it felt like he would find a way to put an end to it. I recently started dieting again and ignoring his prompts even though he shoves his fast food in my face and have started losing weight again but all hes concerned about is me losing weight to leave him and him telling me I'm not allowed to lose weight off my certain areas. Am I reading to much into this or is he seriously messed up? Also adding that he has weight issues and no self control.

Recently hes been nothing but rude about my diet and my weight even though he knows I hate the comments he still does it

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He thinks that you will leave him once you lose the weight and thinks you will think he is out of your league and that you deserve more. And frankly I can agree with that with how he is treating you right now. Leave him if he is going to drag you down.
your boyfriend sounds controlling and insecure- get rid, get fit and find somebody healthy.
lose the weight and the man
He's seriously messed up. The fact that he refuses to wear condoms even though you had a reaction to the pill immediately rings alarm bells.
This does sound messed up. I would advise to throw the whole boyfriend away, but 4 years is along time and I know it isn’t easy to end a relationship over something that can be fixed. First of all, stick to your dieting if you think that is best for you and tell him that he is wrong for not supporting you. Secondly, try and motivate him to diet as well, if he has weight issues as well. I don’t think it’s about him wanting to keep you fat, but more to do with maybe the idea that when you loose weight you will realize that you can do much better than him and leave him
Nothing wrong with a feeding fetish, not gonna judge, but there's everything wrong with making a victim out of that fantasy. Take control of yourself and stop letting him control you (we're not in the 17th century). Lose weight if it's making you unhappy, and if he leaves you then that's a reflection of his insecurities and lack of faith in you, and who wants a man who doesn't trust you. Not worth it. Sack them both, or at least the weight.
There are other options; have you spoken to your GP? Regardless, the fact that he refuses to wear condoms speaks volumes. He sounds like a complete stunt and you should dump him.
Original post by Anonymous
We have been dating for almost 4 years when I met him I was slim and fit into a 6/8 but once I went on the pill had an allergic reaction to it and to start off with put on 20kg boyfriend refused to wear condoms so didn't really have a choice but to take it which in turn has destroyed my immune system and I now get regular migraines. After I finally did go off it I slowly started to loose the weight again but then he started pumping with take away and sugary snacks. So I put on an additional 30 kgs which I'm disgusted with every time I went on a diet or started exercising it felt like he would find a way to put an end to it. I recently started dieting again and ignoring his prompts even though he shoves his fast food in my face and have started losing weight again but all hes concerned about is me losing weight to leave him and him telling me I'm not allowed to lose weight off my certain areas. Am I reading to much into this or is he seriously messed up? Also adding that he has weight issues and no self control.

Recently hes been nothing but rude about my diet and my weight even though he knows I hate the comments he still does it

He sounds controlling. Leave him and read the thread below to see if theres any other signs he is controlling/trying to control the relationship.

https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4773096
I would get rid of him now to be honest. He's controlling and rude and you deserve better. What kind of man would rather his girlfriend be miserable and suffer instead of wearing a condom?
Original post by YaliaV
There are other options; have you spoken to your GP? Regardless, the fact that he refuses to wear condoms speaks volumes. He sounds like a complete stunt and you should dump him.


(I'm not the OP but..) why does it speak volumes? just curious bc my ex was the same?
Reply 11
Avatar for Joleee
Joleee
19
did he tell you 'i don't want you to lose weight because you'll leave me'? or are you just guessing?

i mean it's possible. i know i've even had platonic girlfriends tell me they don't want me skinnier than them (because of jealousy, not because i'd leave them.) but it's also possible that he just likes eating with you. with my ex partner, one of our favourite activities was having a nice dinner together. i imagine it's hard to decide on a restaurant or a home-cooked meal if you want something healthy and he wants burgers and fries, know what i'm sayin?

anyway, i think you just need to be honest and ask him to support you with your diet.
He just lazy himself to lose weight.
I stopped reading after “refused to wear condoms”

Leave him, immediately. He is a class A prick.
He sounds controlling and like a bully. He chose to let you take something that you didn't like because he didn't want to wear a condom, and now he's sabotaging your weight loss. Leave him, he's abusing you.
Original post by del1rious
I stopped reading after “refused to wear condoms”

Leave him, immediately. He is a class A prick.


Sums it up. Only an absolute **** refuses to wear condoms.
Is he fat? Or in shape?
Reply 17
Avatar for ANM775
ANM775
20
Original post by Anonymous
We have been dating for almost 4 years when I met him I was slim and fit into a 6/8 but once I went on the pill had an allergic reaction to it and to start off with put on 20kg boyfriend refused to wear condoms so didn't really have a choice but to take it which in turn has destroyed my immune system and I now get regular migraines. After I finally did go off it I slowly started to loose the weight again but then he started pumping with take away and sugary snacks. So I put on an additional 30 kgs which I'm disgusted with every time I went on a diet or started exercising it felt like he would find a way to put an end to it. I recently started dieting again and ignoring his prompts even though he shoves his fast food in my face and have started losing weight again but all hes concerned about is me losing weight to leave him and him telling me I'm not allowed to lose weight off my certain areas. Am I reading to much into this or is he seriously messed up? Also adding that he has weight issues and no self control.

Recently hes been nothing but rude about my diet and my weight even though he knows I hate the comments he still does it





You sound ungrateful

starving women in Africa would kill for a bf like that

Spoiler

Original post by Joleee
did he tell you 'i don't want you to lose weight because you'll leave me'? or are you just guessing?

No he told me that but I think that was more to do with the fact that I changed my password without giving it to him as I dont have access to his so fairs fair. I get that having a nice dinner out or having fast food once in a while is nice and okay but It was to the point where we were having large meals and sides 2 sometimes 3 times a day and for a person who could hardly eat a happy meal without feeling full and sick thars a lot.


N
Original post by Anonymous
Is he fat? Or in shape?


Hes fat he was fairly thin when we met but he has little to no self control so put it all back on. He wants to be a police officer so obviously needs to lose the weight but apparently doesnt have motivation yet. I've tried cooking him meals and talking about it with him but all he says is that hes jealous that I can keep on a diet that's why he tries to sabotage them all the time.
Reply 19
Avatar for Zzz0
Zzz0
15
He's controlling your passwords too?! Girl, get him gone! This is an abusive controlling guy, you deserve better, a boyfriend should leave you to be independent and support you in your pursuit of happiness.

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