hes 21, im 17??

I've been speaking to this guy for a while now, and we've been planning to meet. We've even spoken about marriage...the thing is i'm from an islamic background(So is he) and i'm scared if anything haram were to happen (sex before marriage). The age gap is also an issue but i like him so much. What shall i do??! Should i meet him or should i wait till i'm 18? I've always set my mind to completing university first, so marriage would not be an option anytime soon.

Reply 1

1582

Volunteer Team

Meeting doesn't mean you need to have sex. There's nothing wrong with planning to meet up. Go for a public place like a café or similar. :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by sinfonietta

Meeting doesn't mean you need to have sex. There's nothing wrong with planning to meet up. Go for a public place like a café or similar. :smile:

is the age gap too weird though?

Reply 3

pottah

I would be very wary of 21 year olds who are interested in 17 year olds, a lot happens in those 4 years and he may be trying to take advantage of you. There’s probably a reason he’s not with people his own age. Think about people four years younger than you, 13, you probably see them as much younger and more immature and don’t want anything to do with them. I know you’re 17 so it’s different but I’m worried about this guy’s intentions.

Just my opinion but I would recommend not going to meet him! If you do, stay as safe as possible and meet in a public place. Also make sure he knows your limits and don’t let him manipulate you into thinking otherwise.

Edit: just looked at some other threads, maybe I’m being melodramatic lol, whatever you do just make sure you’re being safe.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 4

username3890778

Tbh the age gap is perfectly fine. 5 years isn’t that deep. Wait till you’re a little older though

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 5

kekedoyouloveme?

I'm 17 and a Muslim, and i'm pretty sure a meetup will do no harm. It won't necessarily lead to sex. I'm sure he's aware about sex before marriage so it's fine, you'll both be on the same page, just think of it as a friendly meetup, and remain friends and see where the relationship goes, it's hard determining how a relationship will be at an earlier stage. Also the age gap couldn't really be seen as an issue, and as you grow older you'll be more used to being around someone who's older than 2 years or something.

Reply 6

kekedoyouloveme?

Also, Be careful when you meet him, I know you're probably be fed up at hearing that, just because he's a little older, its not an issue this time because it's the first time but if he does anything to make you feel uncomfortable then tell him, (I read to many weird stories online where dating goes wrong I'm sorry if I'm creeping you out) It's just sometimes you'll never really know someone's true intentions and stuff so be vary when you meet him, over time you can relax but go and meet him, with a cautious mind just in case!

Reply 7

1582

Volunteer Team

Original post by Anonymous

is the age gap too weird though?

I don't think it's too terrible. Just be careful about it. Don't let him pressure you into anything you don't want.

When I was 22 I was interested in a 17 year old. I made a point that I wouldn't do anything before he was 18, and once he was and we got involved we stayed together for three years. :smile:

Reply 8

nnn47vfh

Can we talk pm or pravite