Please keep anon or delete.
I have posted on here a few times and I'm sorry if this post sounds repetitive or similar to other posts in H&R.
I hate who I have become. I hate myself with a passion and I think I'm beginning to hate other people, too. I know hate is a strong word but I don't know how else to describe it.
I hate the fact that some people can be happy but others can't. I used to feel happy for them but now I just envy what they have. I see ****bags enjoying life and it doesn't seem fair.
I hate the fact that people discredit of downgrade depression. People who refer to depressed people as 'weak' or 'lazy' (or whatever insult springs to mind) are delusional, insensitive and do not deserve to live in today's society. I know there are people who have been 'depressed' and, now that they are better they can say that it was all down to willpower but, from where I am now I can say that that is complete and utter *******s. You cannot 'will' yourself better. Sure, you can take up a hobby, make different life-style choices, receive counselling and get yourself drugged up to the eyeballs... but to throw this in someone's face... to say, if only you did this or that then you would feel better is completely insulting. You are, in every sense, presupposing and insinuating that they haven't tried hard enough or - and **** does this annoy me - that they don't want to get better.
I don't see the point in life and I'm slowly losing my ability to believe in humanity. I am usually a very caring and considerate person but, at this point in time, I really don't see the point. People may not remember me for making a difference on this ****ty planet but, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. We will all die soon anyway so why the hell can't I enjoy the life I have left? It seems impossible.