How to deal with a jealous female friend? Watch

Anonymous #1
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I’m currently living in the UK for study and a couple weeks before I came here I made a really good female friend and we use to spoke all the time as she was my only friend here at the time. she would always help me with problems like bank stuff, accommodation, travel cards etc and we would visit each other on weekends if free and have even been on a trip with her to London.

Lately I have exams and she’s understandable to it. But I also recently got a gf. And my friend got really upset by it and it turned out she liked me.
I’ve not really been messaging her since then or replied to her messages much and not seen for 4 weeks now. But how do you deal with jealous friends? She said to me that she’s upset at how we aren’t going to be close anymore and that she’s felt I had become distant with her lately even though she gets i have exams. But I’m just too busy and have a gf now. She messaged me last night saying hope you have a good weekend. But I’ve not yet responded because i want to figure out how to deal with her.

What can I do? I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I have a gf now.
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Emz127
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I don't understand what you are trying to deal with? What is she jealous of or have done to make you think this? You do seem to be giving off the impression that because you have a girlfriend now you can't talk to her much anymore? Yes, She could of told you that she liked you due to jealousy. And her also saying that you won't have a close friendship anymore is down to that too. But maybe she was generally upset and if you aren't responding to her currently and you are distancing yourself from her. Won't that make things tricky to resolve or hurt her even more if she feels you have already been distant? I think you should maybe just invite her out somewhere just you two and talk to her like a friend.
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Flexchm
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m currently living in the UK for study and a couple weeks before I came here I made a really good female friend and we use to spoke all the time as she was my only friend here at the time. she would always help me with problems like bank stuff, accommodation, travel cards etc and we would visit each other on weekends if free and have even been on a trip with her to London.

Lately I have exams and she’s understandable to it. But I also recently got a gf. And my friend got really upset by it and it turned out she liked me.
I’ve not really been messaging her since then or replied to her messages much and not seen for 4 weeks now. But how do you deal with jealous friends? She said to me that she’s upset at how we aren’t going to be close anymore and that she’s felt I had become distant with her lately even though she gets i have exams. But I’m just too busy and have a gf now. She messaged me last night saying hope you have a good weekend. But I’ve not yet responded because i want to figure out how to deal with her.

What can I do? I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I have a gf now.
I don’t see how being in a relationship would make u distant from ur close friend. How did u know she’s jealous? I’d be upset if I feel I’m losing my good friend that doesn’t mean jealousy. Maybe she likes u as person. My advice to u is to treat her the way u like to be treated & you’ll be the winner. Relationships ends all the time but friendship stays forever
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m currently living in the UK for study and a couple weeks before I came here I made a really good female friend and we use to spoke all the time as she was my only friend here at the time. she would always help me with problems like bank stuff, accommodation, travel cards etc and we would visit each other on weekends if free and have even been on a trip with her to London.

Lately I have exams and she’s understandable to it. But I also recently got a gf. And my friend got really upset by it and it turned out she liked me.
I’ve not really been messaging her since then or replied to her messages much and not seen for 4 weeks now. But how do you deal with jealous friends? She said to me that she’s upset at how we aren’t going to be close anymore and that she’s felt I had become distant with her lately even though she gets i have exams. But I’m just too busy and have a gf now. She messaged me last night saying hope you have a good weekend. But I’ve not yet responded because i want to figure out how to deal with her.

What can I do? I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I have a gf now.

Honestly I just read that and it wasnt at all what i expected. I wonder what others will think, but my sympathy is with the so called jealous friend and you dont come off looking well at all.

Just talk to her be honest and kind reassure he that you should be friends, but she will also understand you have a gf so you wont always be available. Hopefully she will find another friend/ boyfriend.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Emz127)
I don't understand what you are trying to deal with? What is she jealous of or have done to make you think this? You do seem to be giving off the impression that because you have a girlfriend now you can't talk to her much anymore? Yes, She could of told you that she liked you due to jealousy. And her also saying that you won't have a close friendship anymore is down to that too. But maybe she was generally upset and if you aren't responding to her currently and you are distancing yourself from her. Won't that make things tricky to resolve or hurt her even more if she feels you have already been distant? I think you should maybe just invite her out somewhere just you two and talk to her like a friend.
Well I’ve not said she can’t talk to me anymore? But I want her to realise that I won’t be spending time with her much anymore. As I have my class mates to hang with too as well as my gf. And even though she’s not txting me much at the moment as maybe one a week. She used to txt me everyday which she can’t really do now as my time won’t be on her 24/7 now.

Shes a great friend, trust me I enjoy the time with her and she’s always there for me. but I can’t deal with the constant messages like ‘What you doing this weekend. Are you seeing your gf?’ Or she’ll make what might be jokes saying ‘it’s a shame we don’t talk much anymore, guess that’s because you have a gf now’

i Just want her to know that I’ll still be friends but if I don’t talk to not get upset over it. And I don’t have time to meet her to talk atm. Do you not see where I’m coming from?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Honestly I just read that and it wasnt at all what i expected. I wonder what others will think, but my sympathy is with the so called jealous friend and you dont come off looking well at all.

Just talk to her be honest and kind reassure he that you should be friends, but she will also understand you have a gf so you wont always be available. Hopefully she will find another friend/ boyfriend.
What do you mean ‘don’t come off looking well’?

well I’d just like her to realise I can’t spend my full attention on her anymore and to not get so upset over it all. Like I said in my other reply, she’s a great friend I do really like being around her and everything. But I can’t have a girl try and hang out every single weekend when I now have a gf and also class mates to see too.
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I’ve not said she can’t talk to me anymore? But I want her to realise that I won’t be spending time with her much anymore. As I have my class mates to hang with too as well as my gf. And even though she’s not txting me much at the moment as maybe one a week. She used to txt me everyday which she can’t really do now as my time won’t be on her 24/7 now.

Shes a great friend, trust me I enjoy the time with her and she’s always there for me. but I can’t deal with the constant messages like ‘What you doing this weekend. Are you seeing your gf?’ Or she’ll make what might be jokes saying ‘it’s a shame we don’t talk much anymore, guess that’s because you have a gf now’

i Just want her to know that I’ll still be friends but if I don’t talk to not get upset over it. And I don’t have time to meet her to talk atm. Do you not see where I’m coming from?
So basically what you’re saying is that when you arrived here you needed her company, support and help

and she was there for you.

Now you have a girlfriend and a much wider circle of friends you can’t be bothered replying to her texts or spending time with her.
All she has said is that she misses your friendship

you used her and now she’s outlived her usefulness you’ve dumped her.
And you want us to see your side?????!!!!!!!!
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Anonymous #2
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You sound like a crappy friend tbh. I hope she finds someone better.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
So basically what you’re saying is that when you arrived here you needed her company, support and help

and she was there for you.

Now you have a girlfriend and a much wider circle of friends you can’t be bothered replying to her texts or spending time with her.
All she has said is that she misses your friendship

you used her and now she’s outlived her usefulness you’ve dumped her.
And you want us to see your side?????!!!!!!!!
Thats what I was seeing and perhaps worse. I am reluctant to start berating someone who is asking for advice, but it helps if you can have some sympathy. I wouldnt treat someone like that. She is better off finding another friend and its not to do with there being a gf or the obtaining one, but the way she has been treated.
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FakeNewsEditor
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You don't wanna ruin your friendship? you say you barely talk to her, what r u gonna ruin, exactly? you're not a good friend to her, leave her be. 4 weeks :rofl:. Come on!
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RickiestRick
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m currently living in the UK for study and a couple weeks before I came here I made a really good female friend and we use to spoke all the time as she was my only friend here at the time. she would always help me with problems like bank stuff, accommodation, travel cards etc and we would visit each other on weekends if free and have even been on a trip with her to London.

Lately I have exams and she’s understandable to it. But I also recently got a gf. And my friend got really upset by it and it turned out she liked me.
I’ve not really been messaging her since then or replied to her messages much and not seen for 4 weeks now. But how do you deal with jealous friends? She said to me that she’s upset at how we aren’t going to be close anymore and that she’s felt I had become distant with her lately even though she gets i have exams. But I’m just too busy and have a gf now. She messaged me last night saying hope you have a good weekend. But I’ve not yet responded because i want to figure out how to deal with her.

What can I do? I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I have a gf now.
Bro, you have the holy grail right here. You have a GF and a side-chick. You must be a god damn Alpha.

Anyways, don't distance yourself from her. It's good that you have a GF as it increases jealousy in her, and she will therefore like you even more. Keep talking to her and I recommend flirting. This will keep her attached to you. Hang out with her, remind her why she likes you. Tease her.

All of this is insurance for if your relationship with your GF doesn't work out, then you can go to her, make the break-up situation easier for you and her while satisfying the side-chick. Everyone wins... you mostly.
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Thats what I was seeing and perhaps worse. I am reluctant to start berating someone who is asking for advice, but it helps if you can have some sympathy. I wouldnt treat someone like that. She is better off finding another friend and its not to do with there being a gf or the obtaining one, but the way she has been treated.
Hopefully that wasn’t berating. It was the nicest, kindest version I had!
by laying it out like that the op can see the barest facts of what’s going on and understand why his friend is hurt. It’s not jealousy.
Good friends like that are hard to come by and should be valued, cared for and respected.
Treated properly, that friend would still have been there when the girlfriend is a distant memory and the classmates are long gone.
With some apologies and care it isn’t to late to rebuild
friends like that should be held on to !
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by RickiestRick)
Bro, you have the holy grail right here. You have a GF and a side-chick. You must be a god damn Alpha.

Anyways, don't distance yourself from her. It's good that you have a GF as it increases jealousy in her, and she will therefore like you even more. Keep talking to her and I recommend flirting. This will keep her attached to you. Hang out with her, remind her why she likes you. Tease her.

All of this is insurance for if your relationship with your GF doesn't work out, then you can go to her, make the break-up situation easier for you and her while satisfying the side-chick. Everyone wins... you mostly.
That’s what constitutes a lousy boyfriend and even lousier friend
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by RickiestRick)
Bro, you have the holy grail right here. You have a GF and a side-chick. You must be a god damn Alpha.

Anyways, don't distance yourself from her. It's good that you have a GF as it increases jealousy in her, and she will therefore like you even more. Keep talking to her and I recommend flirting. This will keep her attached to you. Hang out with her, remind her why she likes you. Tease her.

All of this is insurance for if your relationship with your GF doesn't work out, then you can go to her, make the break-up situation easier for you and her while satisfying the side-chick. Everyone wins... you mostly.
Haha, bro my relationship I don’t think will go down hill, but I’ll keep this in mind. I have sleep with her when I went to London with her. And have said since we can’t do that again. Maybe that’s why she’s so into me lol
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RickiestRick
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
That’s what constitutes a lousy boyfriend and even lousier friend
Hello mere Beta.

You clearly do not know how female psychology works. There is pretty much never an instance of a heterosexual pair of male-female friends. Each sex has a constant attraction to the other, so male-female friendship couples only ever arise as a result of a positive attraction from either side. Obviously, the male (OP) did share an attraction as he slept with her, biologically (since the female likes him) he has spiked a constant attraction from the female to the male.

Females and males constantly yearn for competition from other potential mating candidates, so as this guy has a girlfriend and the competitor (female who has a crush on OP) understands this and wants the male even more. This is because the more competitors that are attracted to a single male, the SMV (Sexual Marketplace Value) of the male increases and thus increases attraction, as more females means that this male is clearly an ideal mate.

Soooooo, what I'm saying is that the OP should embrace his biological primitive psychology of attraction. We all should. Having multiple potential partners not only increases fertility and successful reproduction, it decreases stress, increases confidence and expands their social network. If you're saying that the OP should be denied a happy, confident and social life because modern society views our primitive instincts as discriminative against females, then you are clearly mislead and have to perform some research into the female sexual psychology behind relationships. Trust me, you'll find a view things which makes females seem insidious. But hey, women are only human and men are only human. Embrace the dark side.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Haha, bro my relationship I don’t think will go down hill, but I’ll keep this in mind. I have sleep with her when I went to London with her. And have said since we can’t do that again. Maybe that’s why she’s so into me lol
Good to hear your excitement, but never assume a woman will not either cheat on you or break up with you. Briffault's Law says it best:

'The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place'.

What this means is that if the female subconsciously decides that you are no longer a suitable mate, she will look else where to raise her off spring. Males do not cheat on females because they do not see them as a suitable mate for their children, but because of sexual pleasure.

All I'm saying is make sure your lady is constantly attracted to you. I recommend looking into and studying some of the material over at /r/TheRedPill. Don't listen to everything they say, thought. It is a cult of incels who hate women, but their education and understanding of the mind is impeccable.
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Emz127
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I’ve not said she can’t talk to me anymore? But I want her to realise that I won’t be spending time with her much anymore. As I have my class mates to hang with too as well as my gf. And even though she’s not txting me much at the moment as maybe one a week. She used to txt me everyday which she can’t really do now as my time won’t be on her 24/7 now.

Shes a great friend, trust me I enjoy the time with her and she’s always there for me. but I can’t deal with the constant messages like ‘What you doing this weekend. Are you seeing your gf?’ Or she’ll make what might be jokes saying ‘it’s a shame we don’t talk much anymore, guess that’s because you have a gf now’

i Just want her to know that I’ll still be friends but if I don’t talk to not get upset over it. And I don’t have time to meet her to talk atm. Do you not see where I’m coming from?
No i really don't get where you are coming from. In all honesty, you are coming off like a **** friend. You said she helped you out a lot when you got here? And to be honest, i feel so bad for her right now if thats true and with how you are acting right now. She probably really fell for you and all you seem to be doing is ditching her for your new girlfriend!? I'm sorry if i sound rude, but i can't believe what i'm reading! :confused: You should still be in contact and see her every so often like a friend would. Treat her like a friend, but also explain there maybe times where you can't hang out often. Not every friend can hang out every week and she probably understands that. And if she's texting you saying things like - ‘it’s a shame we don’t talk much anymore, guess that’s because you have a gf now'. Then i don't blame her for saying that because of how you are treating this poor girl who probably thought you was an amazing friend and is probably realising she doesn't mean much to you. All because you have a gf. But seriously be a friend to her, you don't have to be 100% close, as you don't seem to want too. but don't treat her like this. because you risk losing your friendship all together. And if that happens i think you may regret some things sooner or later because this girl maybe a pretty decent friend.
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by RickiestRick)
Hello mere Beta.

You clearly do not know how female psychology works.
Given that I am a female, and old enough to be your mother, I know perfectly bloody well how female psychology works thank you
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RickiestRick
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
Given that I am a female, and old enough to be your mother, I know perfectly bloody well how female psychology works thank you
Okay, mother, if you are an expert on the matter, tell me: what are all females subconsciously thinking?
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by RickiestRick)
Okay, mother, if you are an expert on the matter, tell me: what are all females subconsciously thinking?
I’m pretty sure you can guess exactly what I’m thinking right now
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
So basically what you’re saying is that when you arrived here you needed her company, support and help

and she was there for you.

Now you have a girlfriend and a much wider circle of friends you can’t be bothered replying to her texts or spending time with her.
All she has said is that she misses your friendship

you used her and now she’s outlived her usefulness you’ve dumped her.
And you want us to see your side?????!!!!!!!!
None of that is true! I still want to be her friend
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