bisexual and scared

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Im worried what people may think of me, everyone has this idea in their head of who I am.

That straight lad who plays football, goes to the gym a lot, chats up the girls on a night out, and gets a lot of attention. but thats not who I am. yes I enjoy going to the gym and playing football but im not the one to chat up the girls on a night out, I would rather chat up the boys.

anyone else in the same boat as well but to scared to say it out loud.
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Sam1206
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#2
Report 2 years ago
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Look mate, coming out/coming too terms with your sexuailty isn't easy, however if you feel that way then it's completely natural and nothing to be ashamed about and if people don't like the fact that you not straight then that's their problem and makes them the toxic person which you just don't need. Sleep with whoever you like as long as it's safe and consensual. !!! - good luck (this is coming from a Bisexual guy btw)
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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(Original post by Sam1206)
Look mate, coming out/coming too terms with your sexuailty isn't easy, however if you feel that way then it's completely natural and nothing to be ashamed about and if people don't like the fact that you not straight then that's their problem and makes them the toxic person which you just don't need. Sleep with whoever you like as long as it's safe and consensual. !!! - good luck (this is coming from a Bisexual guy btw)

well bisexual guy you speak a lot of truth mate, but being my age is really difficult. im at that age where im finding the right path for me so its hard right now
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Anonymous #2
#4
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Hello! I'm bi (f) and my best friend is a bi (m) hope I can help!

I think this is one of the rare things that women probably have easier than men on the whole. There's still a lot of homophobia between guys and I know my best friend had a lot more trouble accepting his sexuality than I did. He played a lot of sports, partied, hit on girls, and kept his sexuality secret for a long, long time, even to people who knew him well. He'd always keep his hookups seperate and talked about them as if they were woman, and even after he eventually came out, it was quite a long time before he felt comfortable really talking about it with anyone. We were all (I think) totally supportive, but he struggled a lot with really believing it and still tried to avoid the topic whenever it came up. I think he still wanted to be seen as this butch tough guy, and thought that talking about liking other men made him less of that. Now, thankfully, he's fully open and we all gossip about the guys he dates, but I'll never forget how uncomfortable he used to be.

Cause I think it's not just about whether your friends would accept it or not, right? It's about like self-image and the kind of person you want to be seen as? I think there's still a lot of stereotypes about gay or bi guys, that it makes you less of a man, or more feminine, or that your male friends would be uncomfortable around you or stuff like that. Maybe you're worried that you would be seen as less 'you' and more as 'the bisexual guy?' I know in particular it's really, really hard around high-school age, because everyone has these ideas of sex and masculinity that they mostly get from films and TV that are totally ridiculous and honestly hilarious to look back on.

I would try checking out a lot of feminist and queer material. There's a lot of discussions about how these stereotypes arise and why they're so pervasive. (They're also all ********, by the way.) I'm not gonna pretend they don't exist. Even in today's pretty tolerant world, there's still homophobia and biphobia and people who are just uncomfortable for no particular people, and you'll probably encounter it, but there's also plenty (plenty) of people who don't give a ****. Anyone who treats you different because of this honestly isn't worth knowing. Sometimes it can feel like that's the entire world, but it's not at all. There's also a lot of people like you out there. Even if you don't relate much to stereotypical 'gay' culture, if you check it out, you might be surprised how many people have a similar story to you. You don't have to come out until you feel you want to, but I really think, once you find a loving and supportive group of friends, you'll be so glad you did. (And honestly be prepared for it to maybe be kinda weird in the moment. People make it out to be some reaffirming life-altering moment, I've always found it kinda awkward lol, but it's still worth it!).
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Amy06
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Report 2 years ago
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While I may be a bisexual female who is currently dating a male I did have some struggles in the past.

I have dated a member of the same sex before my boyfriend and although it was a terrible relationship it did make me see that I do also like females.

During said relationship everything was new to me and I didn't know how to feel in regards to "is this normal?" "is this okay" "what would everyone else think??"

Surprisingly my family were all great about it and so is my boyfriend so I've been extremely lucky there.

There is definitely biphobics and homophobics out There I won't lie but I will say I've never came across one in person not outside and not in college.
Mainly online "how can you have a relationship with someone when you're just gonna leave them for a girl"
"if you're dating the opposite sex right now you're just straight"

And of course if and when you're dating the same sex there will be just homophobic slurs In there too.

I'm out and proud because whole there are still homophobics I don't see many in my daily life, I'm living happy and I don't get **** for it, if I did I wouldn't really care because I'm still living happy.

Don't let anything affect who you are just do what you want, want to come out? Okay!
Not quite there yet? Alright!
Still questioning? That's okay man!
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