The Student Room Group

Don’t think I can go to uni with my depression

I found out Thursday that I achieved 3A’s and made my first choice university. I had a very tough year due to severe mental health issues so was pretty surprised.
Anyways my mental health is so severely poor that I do not believe I am capable of managing university on my own. I was on a medication for a year that wasn’t making me feel any better and I have no clue why I was on it for so long. I stopped it a week or so ago and haven’t been able to sleep more than 3 hours a day since. I have been unable to sleep until 6am and then wake up at 9ish.
Tonight I though I’d fixed this horrible insomnia and fell asleep at 12. However I woke up at 1:30am (half an hour ago) and am unable to fall back asleep.
The world seems so distant and out of my reach, I feel no emotion and severe mental agony. I am so dearly upset with how I turned out compared to how excited and happy I used to be. I want to cry all the time but I don’t have the energy for the tears to come out.
I am trying a rare antidepressant that I started recently and this may be how things are meant to be.
The reason I applied to university and am going this year is because I can not stay at home for another year to be severely depressed and a burden on my parents. And yes I am a burden on my parents and they tell me. This is it for me but I think everyone has a sense of how much pain their experiencing and what they can realistically manage.
Things happen eventually and everyone knows that pain is a strong strong disgusting thing that overwhelms inviduals.
The world has been cold to me for a year now and it is so upsetting and unfair. Things that used to bring me an immense amount of pleasure like watching a film brings absolutely no positive emotions now. I was watching a ted talk the other day and listened to a quote that went something like: ‘The opposite of depression is not happiness but vitality’
I’m in dear need of help but my parents think it is merely typical depression and that it will pass. Unfortunately a person knows when they have lost something irreplaceable and have tried many ways to get it back .
Original post by Anonymous
I found out Thursday that I achieved 3A’s and made my first choice university. I had a very tough year due to severe mental health issues so was pretty surprised.
Anyways my mental health is so severely poor that I do not believe I am capable of managing university on my own. I was on a medication for a year that wasn’t making me feel any better and I have no clue why I was on it for so long. I stopped it a week or so ago and haven’t been able to sleep more than 3 hours a day since. I have been unable to sleep until 6am and then wake up at 9ish.
Tonight I though I’d fixed this horrible insomnia and fell asleep at 12. However I woke up at 1:30am (half an hour ago) and am unable to fall back asleep.
The world seems so distant and out of my reach, I feel no emotion and severe mental agony. I am so dearly upset with how I turned out compared to how excited and happy I used to be. I want to cry all the time but I don’t have the energy for the tears to come out.
I am trying a rare antidepressant that I started recently and this may be how things are meant to be.
The reason I applied to university and am going this year is because I can not stay at home for another year to be severely depressed and a burden on my parents. And yes I am a burden on my parents and they tell me. This is it for me but I think everyone has a sense of how much pain their experiencing and what they can realistically manage.
Things happen eventually and everyone knows that pain is a strong strong disgusting thing that overwhelms inviduals.
The world has been cold to me for a year now and it is so upsetting and unfair. Things that used to bring me an immense amount of pleasure like watching a film brings absolutely no positive emotions now. I was watching a ted talk the other day and listened to a quote that went something like: ‘The opposite of depression is not happiness but vitality’
I’m in dear need of help but my parents think it is merely typical depression and that it will pass. Unfortunately a person knows when they have lost something irreplaceable and have tried many ways to get it back .


It definitely isn't a good idea for you to go to university this year. You can defer for a year. Get your mental health back on track before you go, otherwise you'll overwhelm yourself with the demands of doing a degree.
Original post by DrawTheLine
It definitely isn't a good idea for you to go to university this year. You can defer for a year. Get your mental health back on track before you go, otherwise you'll overwhelm yourself with the demands of doing a degree.

You need to go back to your gp tomorrow and tell them how you are feeling .It may be that the new medication is not right for you and your current insomnia may be being caused by your suddenly stopping your old medication.It sounds like you would also benefit from psychotherapy.If your parents can afford it find a good private one or otherwise ask the gp what is available.Our daughter went through 18 months of hell before her medication was changed and she is like a different girl now.She also has been seeing a psychotherapist for 9 months but the medication was a game changer.
As for your parents it is difficult for parents but I am sure that they only want you to get better and because of the illness you are taking things they may have said too much to heart.
As for uni only you can be the judge but defering for a year and getting yourself well is an option.You can and will get better but need to get the right help.My heart goes out to you but please believe me this can be sorted and you can get your old self back.
Original post by Anonymous
You need to go back to your gp tomorrow and tell them how you are feeling .It may be that the new medication is not right for you and your current insomnia may be being caused by your suddenly stopping your old medication.It sounds like you would also benefit from psychotherapy.If your parents can afford it find a good private one or otherwise ask the gp what is available.Our daughter went through 18 months of hell before her medication was changed and she is like a different girl now.She also has been seeing a psychotherapist for 9 months but the medication was a game changer.
As for your parents it is difficult for parents but I am sure that they only want you to get better and because of the illness you are taking things they may have said too much to heart.
As for uni only you can be the judge but defering for a year and getting yourself well is an option.You can and will get better but need to get the right help.My heart goes out to you but please believe me this can be sorted and you can get your old self back.


I'm not the OP.
Reply 4
Definitely go back to your GP first. Doing a degree with severe depression IS possible, speaking as someone who has experienced it firsthand. However, if you decide to go ahead with your degree this year make sure you get a strong support system in place:
- see your university’s wellbeing service
- submit a Disabled Student’s Allowance form to SFE
- ensure you have any therapy/medication in place and
- ensure your department are aware of your condition, as they may be able to put in place ‘special circumstances’ for you (eg allowing extra time in exams if your cognition is affected etc)
Deferring might be the right decision - leaving home & going to uni is stressful.

Other things that might help:

regular physical exercise
Change of prescription - different depression meds affect different people differently...
Talking therapies (if available) - availability can be pretty sketchy tbh
Original post by Anonymous
I found out Thursday that I achieved 3A’s and made my first choice university. I had a very tough year due to severe mental health issues so was pretty surprised.
Anyways my mental health is so severely poor that I do not believe I am capable of managing university on my own. I was on a medication for a year that wasn’t making me feel any better and I have no clue why I was on it for so long. I stopped it a week or so ago and haven’t been able to sleep more than 3 hours a day since. I have been unable to sleep until 6am and then wake up at 9ish.
Tonight I though I’d fixed this horrible insomnia and fell asleep at 12. However I woke up at 1:30am (half an hour ago) and am unable to fall back asleep.
The world seems so distant and out of my reach, I feel no emotion and severe mental agony. I am so dearly upset with how I turned out compared to how excited and happy I used to be. I want to cry all the time but I don’t have the energy for the tears to come out.
I am trying a rare antidepressant that I started recently and this may be how things are meant to be.
The reason I applied to university and am going this year is because I can not stay at home for another year to be severely depressed and a burden on my parents. And yes I am a burden on my parents and they tell me. This is it for me but I think everyone has a sense of how much pain their experiencing and what they can realistically manage.
Things happen eventually and everyone knows that pain is a strong strong disgusting thing that overwhelms inviduals.
The world has been cold to me for a year now and it is so upsetting and unfair. Things that used to bring me an immense amount of pleasure like watching a film brings absolutely no positive emotions now. I was watching a ted talk the other day and listened to a quote that went something like: ‘The opposite of depression is not happiness but vitality’
I’m in dear need of help but my parents think it is merely typical depression and that it will pass. Unfortunately a person knows when they have lost something irreplaceable and have tried many ways to get it back .


i would recommend taking a year to recover. depending on your course, university is definitely a step-up from A levels.
I am so sorry for your situation at present but everybody is right be kind to yourself and have a year with no pressure get the medication right and like someone on hear said good psychotherapy and this time next year you will be fit enough to take it all on board. Now is not the right time you need to spend this time looking after you ! Your parents need support too is there any help their GP might be able to help with have a look online I am sure there are organisations that can help. Also look at the benefits of physical exercise get into running or something g it can be a real game changer. I wish you luck you will get there x
I think you should definitely defer entry - going to uni (whether you are leaving home or not, but particularly if you are leaving your home and area to do so) is a big upheaval. As someone else said, it is possible to complete a degree whilst severely depressed but it's far from ideal and relies on your uni having good support for you (unis can be quite variable in terms of support). So it would be far better for you to stabilise a bit more before trying uni :yes:

Also want to say, just in case your first choice uni is Oxford (as you said you got AAA): you definitely need to be a lot better before attempting to go, if your first choice was Oxford by any chance. Though actually, I would query whether going to Oxford would be good for you at all, if it is your first choice uni...

Finally: you mention stopping meds and recently starting new ones. I hope all of this is being done under the supervision of a psychiatrist?

Huge hugs :hugs:
Reply 9
Original post by DrawTheLine
It definitely isn't a good idea for you to go to university this year. You can defer for a year. Get your mental health back on track before you go, otherwise you'll overwhelm yourself with the demands of doing a degree.

What happens if I don’t get my mental health on track by next year and am in the same place or even worse next year? This is the 5th medication I’ve tried over the course of 3 years so am hoping for a miracle.
Also I need to try something new because staying with my parents locked up in my room for months hasn’t helped. Also I have no friends I can meet. If I had friends to meet I would most likely defer
Original post by Anonymous
You need to go back to your gp tomorrow and tell them how you are feeling .It may be that the new medication is not right for you and your current insomnia may be being caused by your suddenly stopping your old medication.It sounds like you would also benefit from psychotherapy.If your parents can afford it find a good private one or otherwise ask the gp what is available.Our daughter went through 18 months of hell before her medication was changed and she is like a different girl now.She also has been seeing a psychotherapist for 9 months but the medication was a game changer.
As for your parents it is difficult for parents but I am sure that they only want you to get better and because of the illness you are taking things they may have said too much to heart.
As for uni only you can be the judge but defering for a year and getting yourself well is an option.You can and will get better but need to get the right help.My heart goes out to you but please believe me this can be sorted and you can get your old self back.

Please may I ask what medication she is on if you don’t mind. This is because I have tried 4 different medications none of which have helped and I am on my 5th one now. Also thanks for the advice
Original post by BethyO
Definitely go back to your GP first. Doing a degree with severe depression IS possible, speaking as someone who has experienced it firsthand. However, if you decide to go ahead with your degree this year make sure you get a strong support system in place:
- see your university’s wellbeing service
- submit a Disabled Student’s Allowance form to SFE
- ensure you have any therapy/medication in place and
- ensure your department are aware of your condition, as they may be able to put in place ‘special circumstances’ for you (eg allowing extra time in exams if your cognition is affected etc)

I have done all of those things apart from the disabled student allowance form. I will have to look into this.
Original post by Joinedup
Deferring might be the right decision - leaving home & going to uni is stressful.

Other things that might help:

regular physical exercise
Change of prescription - different depression meds affect different people differently...
Talking therapies (if available) - availability can be pretty sketchy tbh

I know but what if in a year times I am no better? I have no friends I can meet and am stuck in my room hanging out with only my parents. All my friends are going to uni and I need to try something new.
Going to uni is probably going to be very difficult and painful but could have major rewards like good friends or a girlfriend. Deferring for a year will be less difficult but painful in a different way.
Original post by Anonymous
What happens if I don’t get my mental health on track by next year and am in the same place or even worse next year? This is the 5th medication I’ve tried over the course of 3 years so am hoping for a miracle.
Also I need to try something new because staying with my parents locked up in my room for months hasn’t helped. Also I have no friends I can meet. If I had friends to meet I would most likely defer


Don't start what iffing as it'll just make you worse. Try to be nice and positive. You can get back on track and be good and healthy ready for next September.

Are you able to get a job? That could really help your confidence and faith in yourself. Or start a new hobby, something to fill your time and build some skills.
Reply 14
It’s definitely worth looking into. Through DSA I got technology, but more importantly I got a support worker who was absolutely amazing at keeping me motivated and organised on a week-to-week basis x
Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd
I think you should definitely defer entry - going to uni (whether you are leaving home or not, but particularly if you are leaving your home and area to do so) is a big upheaval. As someone else said, it is possible to complete a degree whilst severely depressed but it's far from ideal and relies on your uni having good support for you (unis can be quite variable in terms of support). So it would be far better for you to stabilise a bit more before trying uni :yes:

Also want to say, just in case your first choice uni is Oxford (as you said you got AAA): you definitely need to be a lot better before attempting to go, if your first choice was Oxford by any chance. Though actually, I would query whether going to Oxford would be good for you at all, if it is your first choice uni...

Finally: you mention stopping meds and recently starting new ones. I hope all of this is being done under the supervision of a psychiatrist?

Huge hugs :hugs:

Thanks for the advice. My first choice isn’t oxford but still considered a good university. I am not concerned about my academic ability but rather my ability to cope with constant negative thoughts and tiredness.
Also I don’t think I will realistically get better staying at home for another year with no friends to meet. But then again I don’t even think I’ll make friends. I need this new medication to work I deeply hope it does something. It says after 2 weeks you should feel something and after 4 weeks you should know.
And yes my psychiatrist prescribed this new drug but it’s just a guessing game in my opinion.
Maybe read some books that may direct a different positioning in your thought?

Could be an existential crisis? you are having troubles coping with the essence in life? try find something you enjoy, there is not really much else. If there is nothing you enjoy then let yourself be eaten into a sphere of darkness. Otherwise, transmute a sphere of thought in which the words you are constantly in practice invoking are one's that carry purpose, a sense of excitement and ecstacy. To which the acts are followed on through this process, that way you can begin to do things you enjoy in connection to those words.

I.e. occupying yourself with the stars, that way you can submit yourself to calling forth their unique presence through learning about them and doing things in which you can get closer to learning about them such as a telescope.

You can depend on others for some form of advise or guidance, but ultimately you are the one to take action.

Hope that helps.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the advice. My first choice isn’t oxford but still considered a good university. I am not concerned about my academic ability but rather my ability to cope with constant negative thoughts and tiredness.
Also I don’t think I will realistically get better staying at home for another year with no friends to meet. But then again I don’t even think I’ll make friends. I need this new medication to work I deeply hope it does something. It says after 2 weeks you should feel something and after 4 weeks you should know.
And yes my psychiatrist prescribed this new drug but it’s just a guessing game in my opinion.


I am not concerned about your academic ability either :nah: Sorry if it came across the wrong way! :colondollar: Relieved you're not attending Oxford :redface:

Have you been offered any talking therapies or is it just all meds chat at the moment? It sounds like you need support with your thoughts and thought processes, in addition to meds to regulate any potential chemical imbalance or whatever...

Quick Reply