Is this an issue? Or just a preference? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 months ago
#1
I've only been with my boyfriend for 3 months, but some of the passing comments he makes make me feel really uncomfortable. I'm white and incredibly pale. I do fake tan in the summer as I look really ill if I don't, and I prefer how I look with a little colour. When I met him the first thing he commented on was how nice my pale skin was, and my (red) hair. I appreciate that everyone has tastes and preferences in regards to what they like, but considering all his ex gf's had been really pale with blonde or red hair, and he constantly makes comments on how much his family will like me because of how pale I am (he's from Thailand), it does start to make me question whether he'd still like me as much if I wasn't white. Should I just bring it up with him as something that bothers me? Or should I just forget it and acknowledge that it's just a preference of his? He makes comments about me having yellow fever a lot too since he's asian, but that makes me feel uncomfortable too when he says it in public because a) I don't have 'yellow fever' - ethnicity/culture etc. is not a driving factor for me romantically; I don't actively seek out anyone of a certain race, and b) people end up assuming I'm a racist white girl who's fetishising her 'poor asian boyfriend', and end up being hostile to me because of it.

I genuinely really like him. But I'd prefer it if he didn't fixate so much on how white I am, and I'd like to think I have more redeeming qualities that his Thai family would like that isn't just my skin.
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Vettion
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#2
Report 7 months ago
#2
Chill out girl...
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YaliaV
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#3
Report 7 months ago
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Other countries aren't as politically correct as the UK. Have you tried to talk to him about it?
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Anonymous #3
#4
Report 7 months ago
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coming from an asian background (Chinese), having pale skin is a VERY attractive feature in east asian countries. There are plenty on women that would carry an unbrella when it’s sunny to avoid getting tanned. So it might be just a preference but do talk to him about it1
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