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Me and my step kid don’t get along?

Ok sorry guys ,
I was trying to say , me and my Bf and his daughter all use to live to together. Before all that the little girl was staying with the mom and aunt they don’t like me bc my Bf moved out with me. The little girl would visit on the weekend, the mom ended up leaving to another state and left her with the dad. The little girl started to blame me for her mom leaving , my Bf work from 7 to 7 and sometimes leaves the state and she would stay with me ,I would cook for her stuff that i know she likes but she would just sit there and tell this is nasty and throw it all over the counter (she’s 9 )I would help her with her homework so I would explain to her over and over how to do the math problems and she would act like she doesn’t know until her dad came then she would get it right. When are dad isn’t around she tells me stuff like I want my dad and mom together. It was like everything I did for she had a problem with nothing was every good enough for her I understand that shes hurt her mom left her , now she living with her aunt bc she told her dad I want to live with my aunt not you guys so the dad let her go live with the aunt. Bc it was always a constant problem with me taking care of her she just didn’t listen to me until her dad was around
(edited 5 years ago)

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Original post by Dhat _lil_chinka
We just don’t get along thanks to her mom and my Bf sister , she used to live with me while her dad would work all day (she’s 9 btw) she wouldn’t talk to me all day unless she was hungry or needed something but right when her dad comes home she wants to talk to me , she constantly telling me I don’t want to live here bc of you my mom and dad aren’t together , she act one way when she’s just with me and when her dads around she wants to act sweet like an angel me and Nd my Bf currently in a complicated situation , me and him recently just had a kid to his only 1 months, I kicked him out bc we would constantly fight bc of his daughter and I don’t want my newborn hearing all the time arguing over the same thing we fight hard cored to bc he thinks she innocent and I need to learn how to deal with but she just act so fake when his around


This honestly didn't make sense. Please could you edit it to include full stops and paragraphs, also can you proof read too? I didn't have a clue what you were saying most of the time.

By making sure your post is easy to read and flows well you'll get more responses to help you solve your problem.
Original post by DrawTheLine
This honestly didn't make sense. Please could you edit it to include full stops and paragraphs, also can you proof read too? I didn't have a clue what you were saying most of the time.

By making sure your post is easy to read and flows well you'll get more responses to help you solve your problem.


Lol true. Also it’s ‘my step kid and I’ not ‘me and my step kid’.
Why did you have a child with him when the home situation was already difficult? Not helpful I know, but...
Original post by Anonymous
Lol true. Also it’s ‘my step kid and I’ not ‘me and my step kid’.


I'm not bothered by that because we knew what she meant. I'm referring just to the actual post because it doesn't flow or make sense. If I could make sense of it it would be fine and I could offer advice.
Okay sorry guys I fixed it
Original post by Dhat _lil_chinka
Ok sorry guys ,
I was trying to say , me and my Bf and his daughter all use to live to together. Before all that the little girl was staying with the mom and aunt they don’t like me bc my Bf moved out with me. The little girl would visit on the weekend, the mom ended up leaving to another state and left her with the dad. The little girl started to blame me for her mom leaving , my Bf work from 7 to 7 and sometimes leaves the state and she would stay with me ,I would cook for her stuff that i know she likes but she would just sit there and tell this is nasty and throw it all over the counter (she’s 9 )I would help her with her homework so I would explain to her over and over how to do the math problems and she would act like she doesn’t know until her dad came then she would get it right. When are dad isn’t around she tells me stuff like I want my dad and mom together. It was like everything I did for she had a problem with nothing was every good enough for her I understand that shes hurt her mom left her , now she living with her aunt bc she told her dad I want to live with my aunt not you guys so the dad let her go live with the aunt. Bc it was always a constant problem with me taking care of her she just didn’t listen to me until her dad was around


Idk, it’s normally a time thing. Just try to be nice still and offer to take her out with her friends or something that way she can bond with you while being with someone she is comfortable with. Just try to give it time to see if the situation will improve
Original post by Dhat _lil_chinka
Ok sorry guys ,
I was trying to say , me and my Bf and his daughter all use to live to together. Before all that the little girl was staying with the mom and aunt they don’t like me bc my Bf moved out with me. The little girl would visit on the weekend, the mom ended up leaving to another state and left her with the dad. The little girl started to blame me for her mom leaving , my Bf work from 7 to 7 and sometimes leaves the state and she would stay with me ,I would cook for her stuff that i know she likes but she would just sit there and tell this is nasty and throw it all over the counter (she’s 9 )I would help her with her homework so I would explain to her over and over how to do the math problems and she would act like she doesn’t know until her dad came then she would get it right. When are dad isn’t around she tells me stuff like I want my dad and mom together. It was like everything I did for she had a problem with nothing was every good enough for her I understand that shes hurt her mom left her , now she living with her aunt bc she told her dad I want to live with my aunt not you guys so the dad let her go live with the aunt. Bc it was always a constant problem with me taking care of her she just didn’t listen to me until her dad was around

You will get nowhere with this child until you and your partner are on the same wavelength regarding boundaries. She has far too much power and it will only get worse as she gets older if it’s not dealt with now.
You and your partner need to sit down together and have a long discussion about who is in charge here. Her father needs to get a grip on the situation and lay down some ground rules regarding her behaviour. No treats, no rewards, just common sense parenting. Parents in charge - end of. If it’s possible, get some family therapy. But do something.
Me and the girl had a bond before her mom came back in the picture her mom never lived with her Her mom and my Bf broke up 4 years ago and ever since she been living with the dad so the child understand that mom and dad aren’t together she had just came back , it that mom came back filling her with lies telling her I came back to be with ur dad , but when she moved down to Miami she came with her other baby daddy we have tried the whole parenting thing with the no treats no rewards and that’s why the little girl told the dad I don’t want to live with you guys can I go live with my aunt , honestly I didn’t mind that she left but I know it not what my Bf would want he just did it bc the child told him I’m unhappy here I rather live with my aunt
Original post by Dhat _lil_chinka
Me and the girl had a bond before her mom came back in the picture her mom never lived with her Her mom and my Bf broke up 4 years ago and ever since she been living with the dad so the child understand that mom and dad aren’t together she had just came back , it that mom came back filling her with lies telling her I came back to be with ur dad , but when she moved down to Miami she came with her other baby daddy we have tried the whole parenting thing with the no treats no rewards and that’s why the little girl told the dad I don’t want to live with you guys can I go live with my aunt , honestly I didn’t mind that she left but I know it not what my Bf would want he just did it bc the child told him I’m unhappy here I rather live with my aunt

Yes, the child wants to live with the aunt because she will get her own way there.
My point I know she’s a little kid but little kid aren’t dumb , she knows wat she’s does she knows right from wrong it’s just a hard thing to deal with Nd to top it off me Nd my Bf just had a newborn that stuff get very stressful for me
Original post by Dhat _lil_chinka
My point I know she’s a little kid but little kid aren’t dumb , she knows wat she’s does she knows right from wrong it’s just a hard thing to deal with Nd to top it off me Nd my Bf just had a newborn that stuff get very stressful for me

I do know how difficult it is for you. My youngest daughter has 5 children, and they are a blended family also. This shouldn’t be down to you to deal with on your own.
I eventually gave up I stop doin stuff for I just let her wonder around the house if she needed something she would ask my mom she got along more with my mother then me , almost my whole pregnancy was like that
Original post by G_Singh145
Idk, it’s normally a time thing. Just try to be nice still and offer to take her out with her friends or something that way she can bond with you while being with someone she is comfortable with. Just try to give it time to see if the situation will improve


I have gave it time it’s almost been a year Nd nothing
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Volibear
Good Lord. You really need to talk to your boyfriend about this.


We do talk about it, he says well she just lost her mom again for the second time you don’t understand what it’s to lose one of our parents , but it’s so stress because that causes him Nd me to fight he tells me that I’m nagging and complaining about her but who can really live like that i get that’s his tired from work but I get tired of her shenanigans too
Original post by Dhat _lil_chinka
We do talk about it, he says well she just lost her mom again for the second time you don’t understand what it’s to lose one of our parents , but it’s so stress because that causes him Nd me to fight he tells me that I’m nagging and complaining about her but who can really live like that i get that’s his tired from work but I get tired of her shenanigans too


Just a question- did you say that her mother is now married to another guy and has a kid too? Now that you have a newborn maybe try to get her to bond with the baby and play with him/her and this may gradually bring you and the girl closer. Most importantly try to talk to her and ask her why she dislikes you? If her mum has lied to her tell her your mum left you and doesnt care for you but I do! Im here for you as your mother. Be kind to her and go on a girls day out with her or something- You are trying your best and are a good stepmum and Im sure she will realise that soon :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Just a question- did you say that her mother is now married to another guy and has a kid too? Now that you have a newborn maybe try to get her to bond with the baby and play with him/her and this may gradually bring you and the girl closer. Most importantly try to talk to her and ask her why she dislikes you? If her mum has lied to her tell her your mum left you and doesnt care for you but I do! Im here for you as your mother. Be kind to her and go on a girls day out with her or something- You are trying your best and are a good stepmum and Im sure she will realise that soon :smile:


I’ve tried that also this has been going on for almost a year I tried talking to her taking her out and stuff but she only ok when I do take her out thats the only time she listen I’ve told I do everything your mom should be doing so why do treat me like, her dad tells her that her mom tends to lie a lot but she doesn’t listen it’s just stress bc I love my Bf but iit get hard to deal with bc at the end of the day that’s his daughter and to him she’s just innocent but she’s knows what she is doing And plus now she not living with us bc she wanted to move with her aunt and her dad let her cuzz of all the problems it would cause
Reply 17
Original post by Dhat _lil_chinka
Me and the girl had a bond before her mom came back in the picture her mom never lived with her Her mom and my Bf broke up 4 years ago and ever since she been living with the dad so the child understand that mom and dad aren’t together she had just came back , it that mom came back filling her with lies telling her I came back to be with ur dad , but when she moved down to Miami she came with her other baby daddy we have tried the whole parenting thing with the no treats no rewards and that’s why the little girl told the dad I don’t want to live with you guys can I go live with my aunt , honestly I didn’t mind that she left but I know it not what my Bf would want he just did it bc the child told him I’m unhappy here I rather live with my aunt


Did you buy a job lot of commas cheap or something? They're liberally scattered and not where they should be. Paragraphs are your friend. Nobody wants to read a wall of text. Especially not one minus punctuation and basic grammar. Your post doesn't make sense.

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