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My girlfriends contraceptive injection watch

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    Hi,
    Me and my girlfriend love eachother very much and have a serious relationship, we already plan on marriage in two years and are desperate for a further future with eachother.

    Although, recently she had taken a contraceptive injection for only the reason because she has overly strong periods.
    This injection has side effects of weight gain, lower sex drive, head aches etc.
    She had taken this injection halfway in June, although effects are really showing through and she has barely any sex drive and always is tired and has a lot of head aches. I don’t know how to tell her I don’t want her to do it anymore because I have a rly high sex drive. We do it every 1 week or sometimes 2 weeks, burn befire the injection it was every time we seen eachother, once it was 6 times in one day.

    She says she is more comfortable and doesn’t have to impress me so she doesn’t want it as much cuz it hurts and she gets tired after. But not to sound like a prick but that sounds liek horse ****. For a moment I was concerned she was Asexual. But it has to be this injection. Idk how to tell her I don’t want her on it, the pill is apparently not strong enough and her periods give her rly strong cramps and pain
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    Just fap?
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    If it's having side effects that severe she should be investigating other options, wheres the point in a contraceptive that ruins your sex drive and relationship?
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    Your girlfriend's contraceptive choices should be her own, and it sounds like you don't respect her very much if you don't believe her reasons for not wanting to have sex with you. She does not owe you sex, nor should she have to go through painful periods when there is a contraceptive injection to stop them. Additionally, you realise condoms aren't 100% effective, right? If you're used to having sex so much, she's risking pregnancy - this way that risk is all but eliminated.

    If you're concerned about sexual compatibility or the side effects of this injection, mention it to her and tell her that you do not feel that your sex drives match up anymore and discuss how you feel. If you are no longer compatible and this is a deal-breaker for you, then I guess you two will break up and you can find someone more compatible. Otherwise, see how she feels and let her make her own decisions. She's a human being, not a sex toy.
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    (Original post by AthenaVivian)
    Your girlfriend's contraceptive choices should be her own, and it sounds like you don't respect her very much if you don't believe her reasons for not wanting to have sex with you. She does not owe you sex, nor should she have to go through painful periods when there is a contraceptive injection to stop them. Additionally, you realise condoms aren't 100% effective, right? If you're used to having sex so much, she's risking pregnancy - this way that risk is all but eliminated.

    If you're concerned about sexual compatibility or the side effects of this injection, mention it to her and tell her that you do not feel that your sex drives match up anymore and discuss how you feel. If you are no longer compatible and this is a deal-breaker for you, then I guess you two will break up and you can find someone more compatible. Otherwise, see how she feels and let her make her own decisions. She's a human being, not a sex toy.
    Hahaha mate ur such a ****, no one asked for a feminism rant. I merely asked for advice on other options for her. Sex is not be all and end all for me, she doesn’t owe me it either. In no way did I say she did. And we are very compatible, we are best friends aswell as in a relationship. I don’t treat her as a “toy” I treat her with nothing but respect, so **** out of here with ur ******** claims u ****in feminazi
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    (Original post by StriderHort)
    If it's having side effects that severe she should be investigating other options, wheres the point in a contraceptive that ruins your sex drive and relationship?
    I do agree with this, I wonder if there’s any other types that could work. It’s not like having less sex is a massive problem to me at all. But it wud be much more healthy if we done it a bit more
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    (Original post by Zasty)
    Just fap?
    On it mate ahhah
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hahaha mate ur such a ****, no one asked for a feminism rant. I merely asked for advice on other options for her. Sex is not be all and end all for me, she doesn’t owe me it either. In no way did I say she did. And we are very compatible, we are best friends aswell as in a relationship. I don’t treat her as a “toy” I treat her with nothing but respect, so **** out of here with ur ******** claims u ****in feminazi
    Where in my post did I mention feminism? Nowhere. I just responded to your post and you're upset that I pointed out the awfulness of the way you posed it. You said the reasons she gave for not wanting sex are horse****. In what world is that "nothing but respect".

    Again, I answered your question. What you should do is discuss this with her like a mature adult rather than behaving like a child having a tantrum when they don't get what they want.
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    (Original post by AthenaVivian)
    Your girlfriend's contraceptive choices should be her own, and it sounds like you don't respect her very much if you don't believe her reasons for not wanting to have sex with you. She does not owe you sex, nor should she have to go through painful periods when there is a contraceptive injection to stop them. Additionally, you realise condoms aren't 100% effective, right? If you're used to having sex so much, she's risking pregnancy - this way that risk is all but eliminated.

    If you're concerned about sexual compatibility or the side effects of this injection, mention it to her and tell her that you do not feel that your sex drives match up anymore and discuss how you feel. If you are no longer compatible and this is a deal-breaker for you, then I guess you two will break up and you can find someone more compatible. Otherwise, see how she feels and let her make her own decisions. She's a human being, not a sex toy.
    Also, u are in no place to determine my respect for her. I call ******** on her claim of not having to impress me anymore due to the recent downfall in sex drive in the past few weeks which happen to be the strongest point of the injection. Go have ur self a protest darling
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    (Original post by AthenaVivian)
    Your girlfriend's contraceptive choices should be her own, and it sounds like you don't respect her very much if you don't believe her reasons for not wanting to have sex with you. She does not owe you sex, nor should she have to go through painful periods when there is a contraceptive injection to stop them. Additionally, you realise condoms aren't 100% effective, right? If you're used to having sex so much, she's risking pregnancy - this way that risk is all but eliminated.

    If you're concerned about sexual compatibility or the side effects of this injection, mention it to her and tell her that you do not feel that your sex drives match up anymore and discuss how you feel. If you are no longer compatible and this is a deal-breaker for you, then I guess you two will break up and you can find someone more compatible. Otherwise, see how she feels and let her make her own decisions. She's a human being, not a sex toy.
    Oh boo. What a barrel of fun you are.

    All this nonsense about agency of women's bodies. Grow up. That's not how real life works. Everything in a relationship is compromise. Do you know how many men don't have agency over their bodies and decisions? Their wives tell them - shave off your stupid beard, get a haircut.

    In the overwhelming majority of relationships, it's women controlling the sex lives of the couple absolutely. If he wants to tell her that her way of doing things sucks, absolutely he can. She doesn't owe him sex, but she owes him a proper relationship, not a boring, moody cow who does what she likes.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,
    Me and my girlfriend love eachother very much and have a serious relationship, we already plan on marriage in two years and are desperate for a further future with eachother.

    Although, recently she had taken a contraceptive injection for only the reason because she has overly strong periods.
    This injection has side effects of weight gain, lower sex drive, head aches etc.
    She had taken this injection halfway in June, although effects are really showing through and she has barely any sex drive and always is tired and has a lot of head aches. I don’t know how to tell her I don’t want her to do it anymore because I have a rly high sex drive. We do it every 1 week or sometimes 2 weeks, burn befire the injection it was every time we seen eachother, once it was 6 times in one day.

    She says she is more comfortable and doesn’t have to impress me so she doesn’t want it as much cuz it hurts and she gets tired after. But not to sound like a prick but that sounds liek horse ****. For a moment I was concerned she was Asexual. But it has to be this injection. Idk how to tell her I don’t want her on it, the pill is apparently not strong enough and her periods give her rly strong cramps and pain
    If she is going to be like this long term, or if she takes the pill and she's still like this, you have to make a huge decision. Do you love her so much that you are going to commit to a crap sex life forever? My strong advice is that you deal with it soon. The longer you stay together, the worse it will get. The nightmare scenario is that you get married, and in a few years time, she's comfortable and you're frustrated and deeply unhappy and resentful. What are you going to do then - because she will have absolutely no incentive to change then.
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    (Original post by Trinculo)
    Oh boo. What a barrel of fun you are.

    All this nonsense about agency of women's bodies. Grow up. That's not how real life works. Everything in a relationship is compromise. Do you know how many men don't have agency over their bodies and decisions? Their wives tell them - shave off your stupid beard, get a haircut.

    In the overwhelming majority of relationships, it's women controlling the sex lives of the couple absolutely. If he wants to tell her that her way of doing things sucks, absolutely he can. She doesn't owe him sex, but she owes him a proper relationship, not a boring, moody cow who does what she likes.
    So your position is that women shouldn't have bodily autonomy? Reproductive agency is a lot more serious than a partner telling you to get a haircut (although I agree that it's wrong for a member of a couple to be that controlling). He mentions that his girlfriend has very painful periods - if the trade-off with the side effects is worth it to her, then that's her decision. If he doesn't like the situation, he is more than welcome to break up with her or to discuss it with her, but at the end of the day it's her decision.

    The particularly bad part of his post was him refusing to believe her reasons for not wanting sex. Whether it's a side-effect or not, if she says she doesn't want to have sex then that's the end of the discussion. He can certainly mention to her that he thinks it's the contraceptive, as I suggested, but if she disagrees or doesn't want to come off of it then he can accept it or end things.

    OP didn't call her boring or moody, he just mentioned that she has had a lower sex drive. You've added those assumptions yourself due to your bias.
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    Ask her to try medical cannabis
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    I am on the contraceptive injection and I've not experienced them kind of side effects.
    There are other contraceptives that she can try, however it's up to her what she does.
    The side effects don't always go away either, and the injection will be in her system for about 3 months after the jab until she has to go again for another jab.
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    (Original post by AthenaVivian)
    So your position is that women shouldn't have bodily autonomy? Reproductive agency is a lot more serious than a partner telling you to get a haircut (although I agree that it's wrong for a member of a couple to be that controlling). He mentions that his girlfriend has very painful periods - if the trade-off with the side effects is worth it to her, then that's her decision. If he doesn't like the situation, he is more than welcome to break up with her or to discuss it with her, but at the end of the day it's her decision.

    The particularly bad part of his post was him refusing to believe her reasons for not wanting sex. Whether it's a side-effect or not, if she says she doesn't want to have sex then that's the end of the discussion. He can certainly mention to her that he thinks it's the contraceptive, as I suggested, but if she disagrees or doesn't want to come off of it then he can accept it or end things.

    OP didn't call her boring or moody, he just mentioned that she has had a lower sex drive. You've added those assumptions yourself due to your bias.
    If she doesn't want to have sex - that is not the end of the discussion. He is absolutely entitled to a truthful and candid explanation. Maybe it is the hormones in the injection - maybe it's not, but if they're in a serious relationship, he is absolutely entitled to know.

    This is the most destructive thing in many relationships - the idea that there are red lines not in behaviour, but in rationales and explanations for that behaviour. If he doesn't want to (for example) visit her parents - that is not the end of it. She is absolutely entitled to know why, and they can argue about it to the end of time. If she won't eat beef - he is absolutely entitled to know why and to have a decent explanation. If he goes out until 4am she is entitled to know where he's been.

    If she doesn't want to have sex - "No, that's my decision and there will be no discussion" is not an acceptable answer.
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    (Original post by Trinculo)
    If she doesn't want to have sex - that is not the end of the discussion. He is absolutely entitled to a truthful and candid explanation. Maybe it is the hormones in the injection - maybe it's not, but if they're in a serious relationship, he is absolutely entitled to know.

    This is the most destructive thing in many relationships - the idea that there are red lines not in behaviour, but in rationales and explanations for that behaviour. If he doesn't want to (for example) visit her parents - that is not the end of it. She is absolutely entitled to know why, and they can argue about it to the end of time. If she won't eat beef - he is absolutely entitled to know why and to have a decent explanation. If he goes out until 4am she is entitled to know where he's been.

    If she doesn't want to have sex - "No, that's my decision and there will be no discussion" is not an acceptable answer.
    She did give him an answer though, he just won't accept it, so your comment is absolutely irrelevant. He just doesn't like her answer. You can ask why, but you shouldn't be pressuring your partner to do something they don't want. In this situation, he simply needs to have an open discussion with her to see what she wants to do, and then he can decide whether he wants to stay with her or not based on her answer.
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    Womens sex drives can be affected by certain hormonal contraceptives yes but I think you need to take what she said into consideration.

    Me and my boyfriend used to get sexual a lot especially once we could finally have sex and eventually that died down, honeymoon period over we both didn't feel the need to as much, now it's once every week - 2 weeks (although as we're now apart it's more like 2-3 times a month)

    She may well just be more content and not into sex as often.

    I do have a higher sex drive than my partner and do occasionally masturbate If I feel in the mood and he's not it works well for us.

    If the fact she's not as into sex as you is too big a problem then you might consider breaking it off x
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    (Original post by Trinculo)
    If she is going to be like this long term, or if she takes the pill and she's still like this, you have to make a huge decision. Do you love her so much that you are going to commit to a crap sex life forever? My strong advice is that you deal with it soon. The longer you stay together, the worse it will get. The nightmare scenario is that you get married, and in a few years time, she's comfortable and you're frustrated and deeply unhappy and resentful. What are you going to do then - because she will have absolutely no incentive to change then.
    Yeah I understand mate, I’ll have to have a serious talk with her, tbh sex doesn’t like destroy me if I don’t get it, I just sometimes rly want it and the injection is kind of bringing it down so yeah
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I understand mate, I’ll have to have a serious talk with her, tbh sex doesn’t like destroy me if I don’t get it, I just sometimes rly want it and the injection is kind of bringing it down so yeah
    Sure, it doesn’t destroy you now. But think about what it would be like in 3,5 or 10 years?
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    (Original post by Elektra06)
    Womens sex drives can be affected by certain hormonal contraceptives yes but I think you need to take what she said into consideration.

    Me and my boyfriend used to get sexual a lot especially once we could finally have sex and eventually that died down, honeymoon period over we both didn't feel the need to as much, now it's once every week - 2 weeks (although as we're now apart it's more like 2-3 times a month)

    She may well just be more content and not into sex as often.

    I do have a higher sex drive than my partner and do occasionally masturbate If I feel in the mood and he's not it works well for us.

    If the fact she's not as into sex as you is too big a problem then you might consider breaking it off x
    That’s an excellent way of explaining it, it may well be the case. She has gotten a lot more comfortable, maybe it just hasn’t sunk in yet that we are out of the honey moon period.
    and I’m not incredibly into having sex, it’s just something I enjoy now and then
 
 
 
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