Dreading going back to university
Hi,
I am going into second year in September at university and I am absolutely dreading it. I attend a Scottish university and I do a 4 year long degree. I have just finished an interruption of studies and I completed my first year from 2016-2017. I suffered from anxiety, depression, and social anxiety throughout the whole of my first year of university and my dad passed away suddenly in April 2017. I barely made friends because i isolated myself. I visited the gp so much but they couldn't do anything but offer medication which i was not comfortable with taking at the time. I used the counselling service. Basically i tried to get as much help as i could but i still felt terrible.
I took an interruption of studies from 2017- 2018 because i was not in the right place to think about university after that horrific year and i was still grieving. In this year out, i have taken antidepressants and I have found one that works for me. I still suffer from depression and anxiety now, and my social anxiety is mostly gone (I had a part time retail job this year which helped a lot with that.) Stupidly, i stopped taking my antidepressant too early a couple of months ago (because i was feeling good!) but i feel depressed again now. I will start taking the antidepressant again from tomorrow and i will continue to take it for a full 6 months this time.
I doubt that the antidepressant will kick in straight away again therefore i am worried i will feel depressed while at university. I go to university in a month. My depression affects absolutely everything - i feel unmotivated, unconfident, and i feel like isolating myself from everyone. I will have a mental health nurse i will see regularly, as part of the disability service, which i hope will be really helpful. But i'm still really worried that my university experience will be affected, yet again, by my mental health. The point of my year out was to feel better, and I was for a while, so i'm frustrated that i feel like this now before i go to university. I have no motivation to buy things i need for my accommodation, to pack, or anything. I am worried i won't make friends again because i won't have the energy. I am worried i won't have motivation to study again. I am also genuinely concerned that i won't have motivation to cook for myself at university. What can i do?
I am going into second year in September at university and I am absolutely dreading it. I attend a Scottish university and I do a 4 year long degree. I have just finished an interruption of studies and I completed my first year from 2016-2017. I suffered from anxiety, depression, and social anxiety throughout the whole of my first year of university and my dad passed away suddenly in April 2017. I barely made friends because i isolated myself. I visited the gp so much but they couldn't do anything but offer medication which i was not comfortable with taking at the time. I used the counselling service. Basically i tried to get as much help as i could but i still felt terrible.
I took an interruption of studies from 2017- 2018 because i was not in the right place to think about university after that horrific year and i was still grieving. In this year out, i have taken antidepressants and I have found one that works for me. I still suffer from depression and anxiety now, and my social anxiety is mostly gone (I had a part time retail job this year which helped a lot with that.) Stupidly, i stopped taking my antidepressant too early a couple of months ago (because i was feeling good!) but i feel depressed again now. I will start taking the antidepressant again from tomorrow and i will continue to take it for a full 6 months this time.
I doubt that the antidepressant will kick in straight away again therefore i am worried i will feel depressed while at university. I go to university in a month. My depression affects absolutely everything - i feel unmotivated, unconfident, and i feel like isolating myself from everyone. I will have a mental health nurse i will see regularly, as part of the disability service, which i hope will be really helpful. But i'm still really worried that my university experience will be affected, yet again, by my mental health. The point of my year out was to feel better, and I was for a while, so i'm frustrated that i feel like this now before i go to university. I have no motivation to buy things i need for my accommodation, to pack, or anything. I am worried i won't make friends again because i won't have the energy. I am worried i won't have motivation to study again. I am also genuinely concerned that i won't have motivation to cook for myself at university. What can i do?
My genuine advice, as someone who's been there, is to take time to yourself. Maybe even take another year off because you MUST put your mental health first. If your mind isn't feeling it's best, then how will it do anything else?
Something that really helped me was fake it till you make it. Wasn't easy with depression but helped loads with the anxiety, which I see somewhat helped you a lot when you got your job so well done there!
If you decide to go back to university this year, I would let your flatmates know about what's going on. They may not fully understand, but maybe you could ask them to motivate you, or drag you out of bed if need be. You also get great counselling in university too. Do continue taking your antidepressants too but do be careful, there's a fine line between them helping you and you becoming dependant on them.
I'm sorry I can't be of much help but I do wish you the best going forward.
Something that really helped me was fake it till you make it. Wasn't easy with depression but helped loads with the anxiety, which I see somewhat helped you a lot when you got your job so well done there!
If you decide to go back to university this year, I would let your flatmates know about what's going on. They may not fully understand, but maybe you could ask them to motivate you, or drag you out of bed if need be. You also get great counselling in university too. Do continue taking your antidepressants too but do be careful, there's a fine line between them helping you and you becoming dependant on them.
I'm sorry I can't be of much help but I do wish you the best going forward.
Have you shared your concen with your mom or some other relative. Maybe ask for help getting packed and to put a plan in place to help you from afar. Make an agreement with her that if it's not working and you feel you need more time, that she will allow you to come back home. I'm sure she will understand and help to support you. Pray for God's strength and see the counselor as planned. University takes some getting use to and can be a challenge for some. Don't worry so much about the number of friends you have but more about having a faithful few that you can count on and that share your interests, beliefs and goals. Don't be too hard on yourself. You've been through alot. Be kind to yourself. *hugs*
