Hi, I broke up with a long term boyfriend almost 3 years ago, and I'm honestly probably still not over it. He was very manipulative and also lied to our mutual friends.It is so much worse than a normal breakup when an ex acts this way. It's hard to know who to trust, and rejection or suspicion from your friends can be unbearable when you are already going through a tough time. I didn't want to start any drama or ****-slinging, so personally I retreated into myself and actually ended up losing a lot of people. The only friends I still have from that time are those I was closest to, who actually made the effort to reach out to me and didn't believe what was said.
It's really hard. I still am struggling to get over the shock of the first time I heard what he had said about me. I still have days where I want to call up everyone I used to know and say "you know it wasn't true right?!" The indignation is the hardest thing to let go of, because it's so so unfair.
I would try to start fresh, if you can. Your true friends will trust you and stand by you no matter what. And if no one does, then consider that a welcome warning that you should make better friends. Focus on friendships above all else. They are the people who should love you the most and your support network. Try to do things you enjoy. Dating other people also helps, although try to keep things casual to avoid rebounding too hard. Again, relationships should not take priority over friendships, it's not healthy and leads to this kind of pain. Don't feel guilty for being happy and don't doubt your own experiences. Good luck.