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I want him to stop but I don't know how to tell him.

I have a friend whom I have been very close to. He is not my best friend but the two of us just mostly spend time together ever since we were in college. We have been very close for so long that I got used to everything he does. However, he was acting strange recently toward me. I got used to him being nice and all but he also annoys me quite often than not. This time, he is all but nice and when I got to ask him about it, he confessed his feelings. Honestly, he is a great guy, I swear, even if he used to mess around during college. It’s just that I am not into him and I prefer to be his friend. He told me that he already tried stopping himself from loving me but it was no success. The thing is I want him to stop but I don’t know how I can actually tell him this without trying to hurt his feelings.
You should have never started such a 'close' freindship with him.What do you expect?.For him to be your loyal dog?.Obviously thiswas supposed to be happen if you smile and spend time with some individual who spends 'time' with you.Tell him you see him only as a freind and there is nothing you can do about what he feels.It's your own fault now fix it.
Original post by IwantaAinpaper33
You should have never started such a 'close' freindship with him.What do you expect?.For him to be your loyal dog?.Obviously thiswas supposed to be happen if you smile and spend time with some individual who spends 'time' with you.Tell him you see him only as a freind and there is nothing you can do about what he feels.It's your own fault now fix it.


how's it her fault? all she wanted is to be friends with him.
Reply 3
Original post by Krishna1601
how's it her fault? all she wanted is to be friends with him.


Seconded, they make it sound like you can't be friends with the opposite sex. This isn't her fault, he will just need to find a way to get past it.
Original post by Bio 7
Seconded, they make it sound like you can't be friends with the opposite sex. This isn't her fault, he will just need to find a way to get past it.


exactly
Original post by SomMC1
The fact you didnt reciprocate the feelings when he confessed is a good enough answer for him. He sees you dont feel the same way.

When a guy tells you he basically loves you and you sit there awkwardly sipping from your water bottle, then yeah the answer is quite clear.


Sounds like you are talking from experience? :rofl:
Just tell him to eff of you probs can’t save ur friendship with him anymore either
He will feel awkward around you and your will too
I mean by all means u can try but one there’s a break there is forever a hole even with your family so be prepared if u r gonna hurt someone even if it was an accident u will never go back to normal even if it ur family will feel awkward too ok
He's been living in a little bubble of fantasy and it's just been popped by reality. No need to make it any harder than it has to be, but it needs done and you don't particularly owe any explanation.

1 major problem i've found in these friend situations is the person that just got rejected is obv hurt and wants to then talk about it with their close friend ....that they've just put on the spot, and it just starts a new cycle, I've regretfully had to sit a girl down once and carefully and firmly enunciate 'I cannot be the friend that helps you get you over me'
Original post by AverylovesMUSIC
I have a friend whom I have been very close to. He is not my best friend but the two of us just mostly spend time together ever since we were in college. We have been very close for so long that I got used to everything he does. However, he was acting strange recently toward me. I got used to him being nice and all but he also annoys me quite often than not. This time, he is all but nice and when I got to ask him about it, he confessed his feelings. Honestly, he is a great guy, I swear, even if he used to mess around during college. It’s just that I am not into him and I prefer to be his friend. He told me that he already tried stopping himself from loving me but it was no success. The thing is I want him to stop but I don’t know how I can actually tell him this without trying to hurt his feelings.


This is why love is a bad thing
Original post by Krishna1601
how's it her fault? all she wanted is to be friends with him.


She friend zoned him and the relationship is over if they don’t get together. He isn’t going to just stop loving her. lol
Original post by SomMC1
which one; Me confessing or me sipping from my water bottle? :rofl:


:laugh:
Original post by TheJohnM
She friend zoned him and the relationship is over if they don’t get together. He isn’t going to just stop loving her. lol


and that makes it her fault? She didn't force the guy to start liking her lol
Original post by Krishna1601
and that makes it her fault? She didn't force the guy to start liking her lol


You can be friends with guys ...but not close friends without one of you wanting to sleep with the other. It’s not if ...it’s when.
Original post by AverylovesMUSIC
I have a friend whom I have been very close to. He is not my best friend but the two of us just mostly spend time together ever since we were in college. We have been very close for so long that I got used to everything he does. However, he was acting strange recently toward me. I got used to him being nice and all but he also annoys me quite often than not. This time, he is all but nice and when I got to ask him about it, he confessed his feelings. Honestly, he is a great guy, I swear, even if he used to mess around during college. It’s just that I am not into him and I prefer to be his friend. He told me that he already tried stopping himself from loving me but it was no success. The thing is I want him to stop but I don’t know how I can actually tell him this without trying to hurt his feelings.

Be honest, tell him the truth. He is a great mate, but no more. You may lose a friend, but thats life.
Original post by TheJohnM
You can be friends with guys ...but not close friends without one of you wanting to sleep with the other. It’s not if ...it’s when.


yeah no you can have close friendships with the opposite sex without wanting to sleep together
You are just going to have to be cruel to be kind; he's going to be hurt and you should make it as quick and painless as possible. There isn't really a way to salvage a friendship in these situations.
I understand you don't want to lose him as a friend, but if he is a close friend and he does seem like he is because he has been that for many years he should be able to put this aside and be mature enough about your decision. Be honest with him and say you don't want to hurt him but you don't have those sort of feelings for him but really want to stay good friends with him like it has always been.

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