Parents won’t let me move away for uni

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Anonymous #1
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My parents think that if I move away then I’ll completely forget about them and my brother. They’re super strict as well (Filipinos). The culture is also different and I’m their first child.

The course that I want to do is only available in a small number of universities so there’s only one uni that’s the closest to home that offers this course. But I told them that I’m willing to pursue my dreams even if I have to move away from home.

Could anyone give me advice please or if anyone who has been in a similar position, what did you do?
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katf
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Tell them you're an adult and if you want to move away, you can and will do.
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vicvic38
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Well, you will be an adult, and as such, can do what you like. However, you have to be prepared for if your parents are not willing to fund you if you choose to move away. That can be killer, esp if your maintenance won't cover everything.

It's weird that they'd think you'd forget them, considering you'd be home at Christmas, and Easter, and for the entire summer. Also phones exist, so they could organise a specific call time if they wanted to.

What this smacks of is wishing to control you and your life. They're strict, and they fear that if you move out, they can no longer control you.
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Anonymous #1
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They’re always updated on the news and they’re always talking about people who are missing, drunk teenagers, bad influences etc. So basically they’re always worried
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bones-mccoy
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Are they expecting you to always stay at home, that you'll have to spend your entire live living close to them in case you forget they exist? Remind them that you'll see them for Christmas, Easter and the summer holidays which last for months. There's also reading weeks in a lot of courses so that will be an extra opportunity for you to visit. The news only shows you the very extremes - the large majority of university students are sensible people who are perfectly safe but the news doesn't talk about them because they're not a problem, they're not newsworthy.

Don't let them stop you from living your life, of course they may worry about losing you but your ambition has to come first.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
Are they expecting you to always stay at home, that you'll have to spend your entire live living close to them in case you forget they exist? Remind them that you'll see them for Christmas, Easter and the summer holidays which last for months. There's also reading weeks in a lot of courses so that will be an extra opportunity for you to visit. The news only shows you the very extremes - the large majority of university students are sensible people who are perfectly safe but the news doesn't talk about them because they're not a problem, they're not newsworthy.

Don't let them stop you from living your life, of course they may worry about losing you but your ambition has to come first.
I’ve talked to them about moving away for university 2 or 3 times now but they still think that living at home is what I should do. They just don’t listen to my opinions, they want me to be “protected” by living under the same roof.

However, the universities that are closest to home don’t really interest me except for one.

So yeah...
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve talked to them about moving away for university 2 or 3 times now but they still think that living at home is what I should do. They just don’t listen to my opinions, they want me to be “protected” by living under the same roof.

However, the universities that are closest to home don’t really interest me except for one.

So yeah...
But like I said, do they expect you to live with them forever? You're going to have to move out and live your own life at some point
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
But like I said, do they expect you to live with them forever? You're going to have to move out and live your own life at some point
True point
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by kiki213)
OMGG i'm half filipina and my mum wont let me move away neither will my dad
i'm living at home first year and commuting to uni
second year moving away hopefully
just hope and pray and move away if u can
call ur uni to talk to ur parents
hope u get what u want/need OP good luck God bless xxx
Ahhh I’m glad we can relate!! 🇵🇭💗

How are are you going to convince your parents to let you move away? Xx
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Eliteus
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Dude parents like this piss me off. They think they are protecting you but they don't realise they are going to make you so reliant on living under someone. No matter how much 'responsibilities' and chores they give you round the house, you will never learn to live independently and won't realise the value of money at all and its management. I am an Asian myself (Indian) and had to FULLY convince my parents just to make them allow me to be in accomodation. Your parents need to know the hard way that they aren't always going to be around to protect you and at some point you need to protect yourself, but you won't be able to or you will struggle because they decided to keep you under them.

My advice is, show them all these replies, they need to see how the rest of the country sees this.
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32Katy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My parents think that if I move away then I’ll completely forget about them and my brother. They’re super strict as well (Filipinos). The culture is also different and I’m their first child.

The course that I want to do is only available in a small number of universities so there’s only one uni that’s the closest to home that offers this course. But I told them that I’m willing to pursue my dreams even if I have to move away from home.

Could anyone give me advice please or if anyone who has been in a similar position, what did you do?
your parents must understand that you are not a small child and want to fight for your better future. talk to them honestly. say that these are your dreams, but that does not mean that you will forget about them. be assertive but have your opinion
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muffin69
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There is never a guarantee that the closer university will offer you a place. Are they likely to not consider supporting your decision to move if the closer uni turned you down but you secured a place further away?
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