Am i overreacting?

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG, BUT IF ANYONE CAN HELP, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT X

I have been in a relationship with this person for 4 years.

In the beginning of the year I found out that he was talking to this girl, who he works with and i know of her but i have never spoken to her. He was facetiming her after I had gone sleep, he became extremely shady about me touching his phone.

I thought it was disrespectful and there was no need. I have no problem with him being friends with girls but i do have a problem with him facetiming another girl. I explained this to him and he understood and said that he wont do that anymore.

I then saw her the other day with her bf at this place, she messaged my bf telling him she saw me but she did not think to say hi to me and introduce herself, since she is such 'good friends' with my bf.

i later mentioned to him that i think i saw her and he said yes she told me.
Couple days later, i went on his phone since it was in front of me. I went on his ft and saw that he ft her at 2am for 1 hour, whilst i was asleep and after leaving my house. The next day i tried to call him after he had finished work and on his call list it shows that he called her first and didnt pick up my call.

I also checked his snapchat and i saw that he had saved her name under a boys name.

When i asked him who do you speak to when i go sleep he refused to answer my question. I gave him so many opportunities to be honest with him and tell me what he did. I then gave him a final option to be honest with me. Because he wasnt acknowledging what he had done and bringing other situations into the issue to make it seem like i am at fault.

When i told him i know everythign, he continued to lie and say that he didnt change anything. I asked him to show me his snapcaht agian, by then he had chnaged her name to her original name and messaged the guys name to make it seem like that was there initially. Which got me even more angrier, since he did that to make it seem like i was stupid and being disillusion.

i gave him the last chance and his said yes i did do that, but thats because of your insecurities i did that, shes a good friend that all and she has a bf and he doesnt complain.

Am i overreacting or am i right to feel like this?
the continuous lies had made me not being able to trust him and doubt everything.
0
reply
999tigger
Badges: 19
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG, BUT IF ANYONE CAN HELP, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT X

I have been in a relationship with this person for 4 years.

In the beginning of the year I found out that he was talking to this girl, who he works with and i know of her but i have never spoken to her. He was facetiming her after I had gone sleep, he became extremely shady about me touching his phone.

I thought it was disrespectful and there was no need. I have no problem with him being friends with girls but i do have a problem with him facetiming another girl. I explained this to him and he understood and said that he wont do that anymore.

I then saw her the other day with her bf at this place, she messaged my bf telling him she saw me but she did not think to say hi to me and introduce herself, since she is such 'good friends' with my bf.

i later mentioned to him that i think i saw her and he said yes she told me.
Couple days later, i went on his phone since it was in front of me. I went on his ft and saw that he ft her at 2am for 1 hour, whilst i was asleep and after leaving my house. The next day i tried to call him after he had finished work and on his call list it shows that he called her first and didnt pick up my call.

I also checked his snapchat and i saw that he had saved her name under a boys name.

When i asked him who do you speak to when i go sleep he refused to answer my question. I gave him so many opportunities to be honest with him and tell me what he did. I then gave him a final option to be honest with me. Because he wasnt acknowledging what he had done and bringing other situations into the issue to make it seem like i am at fault.

When i told him i know everythign, he continued to lie and say that he didnt change anything. I asked him to show me his snapcaht agian, by then he had chnaged her name to her original name and messaged the guys name to make it seem like that was there initially. Which got me even more angrier, since he did that to make it seem like i was stupid and being disillusion.

i gave him the last chance and his said yes i did do that, but thats because of your insecurities i did that, shes a good friend that all and she has a bf and he doesnt complain.

Am i overreacting or am i right to feel like this?
the continuous lies had made me not being able to trust him and doubt everything.

Looks like you are insecure and have no trust with this person any more. Once you are on to the looking at his phone (dumpable offence) and interrogating him then you are on the rocky road to splitsville imo. You are essentially banning him from speaking to females and dont trust him. Perhaps she is a friend or she isnt as much hardwork as you appear to be? Now this has gotten into your head and you dont trust him then I cnat see how you will change your feelings.

Youve tried talking and he isnt prepared to stop being friends or having contact [ that doesnt have to mean anything is going on], but I cant see a way of you repairing things as neither of you is going to back down over this. Talk to him in an open minded non ultimatum manner and then you may both decide to call it a way. His behaviour doesnt have to mean he is cheating. There is no trust.
0
reply
mikky46
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
Yes, you are definitely over-reacting! Basically your bf has a female friend, and you don't like her/the situation. Underlining your insecurity, you go on his phone when he's not looking! Not exactly the action of a trusting gf!!
You have no idea what is going on because you're too busy confronting him with your suspicions and jealousies!! Take a step back and look at things calmly. So he's facetiming someone - so what? He doesn't need to ft you - he's with you, not her. This other girl has a bf, as you know, and reading between the lines, they seem perfectly happy. So what's the problem there?
You have a choice, continue to suspect him of whatever nonsense is running through your head, or re-assess the situation, and realise you HAVE over-reacted. If you decide the former, you must get out of the relationship after four years, and find someone you think you can trust. If you decide the latter, you need to sit the bf down and apologise for over-reacting in a calm, non-confrontational way. Tell him again how you really feel about him = I guess you've been so busy accusing him you've forgotten to mention your real feelings for a while. He will have other friends, and some of them will be female - that is a fact of life, just the same as you will have other friends, and some of them will be male.
0
reply
Allysayssun
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
How is she over reacting ? If my boy friend were to FaceTime another girl when I was sleeping I would break his phone. That’s some weird ****. Every time I ever FaceTime a guy behind my boy friends back whether he’s sleeping or not it’s 99% of the time not the most loyal idea. I’m usually being shady. Red flag. Red flag. The Snapchat is a huge red flag. I’d be overreacting too.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#5
Report 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG, BUT IF ANYONE CAN HELP, I WOULD APPRECIATE IT X

I have been in a relationship with this person for 4 years.

In the beginning of the year I found out that he was talking to this girl, who he works with and i know of her but i have never spoken to her. He was facetiming her after I had gone sleep, he became extremely shady about me touching his phone.

I thought it was disrespectful and there was no need. I have no problem with him being friends with girls but i do have a problem with him facetiming another girl. I explained this to him and he understood and said that he wont do that anymore.

I then saw her the other day with her bf at this place, she messaged my bf telling him she saw me but she did not think to say hi to me and introduce herself, since she is such 'good friends' with my bf.

i later mentioned to him that i think i saw her and he said yes she told me.
Couple days later, i went on his phone since it was in front of me. I went on his ft and saw that he ft her at 2am for 1 hour, whilst i was asleep and after leaving my house. The next day i tried to call him after he had finished work and on his call list it shows that he called her first and didnt pick up my call.

I also checked his snapchat and i saw that he had saved her name under a boys name.

When i asked him who do you speak to when i go sleep he refused to answer my question. I gave him so many opportunities to be honest with him and tell me what he did. I then gave him a final option to be honest with me. Because he wasnt acknowledging what he had done and bringing other situations into the issue to make it seem like i am at fault.

When i told him i know everythign, he continued to lie and say that he didnt change anything. I asked him to show me his snapcaht agian, by then he had chnaged her name to her original name and messaged the guys name to make it seem like that was there initially. Which got me even more angrier, since he did that to make it seem like i was stupid and being disillusion.

i gave him the last chance and his said yes i did do that, but thats because of your insecurities i did that, shes a good friend that all and she has a bf and he doesnt complain.

Am i overreacting or am i right to feel like this?
the continuous lies had made me not being able to trust him and doubt everything.
idk tbh i don’t think you’re overreacting bc clearly he’s acting suspicious especially when you said you asked him and he refused to tell you. if it’s nothing weird he could’ve told you straight up it was her. and it’s kinda weird he felt the need to facetime her so late at 2am but i’m trying to think was it bc you said you felt uncomfortable with it? however this relationship is between you two so honestly feel he should at least prioritise your feelings and properly reassure u that she’s just a good friend, instead of “hiding” like he’s doing something wrong especially with the putting her name under a boy’s name on snapchat? like that seems kinda weird to me ngl. i think you have to both properly speak about this issue and sort it out it’s the best way. if he gets defensive, then…maybe it’s time end it lol
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How would you feel if uni students needed to be double vaccinated to start in Autumn?

I'd feel reassured about my own health (33)
15%
I'd feel reassured my learning may be less disrupted by isolations/lockdowns (68)
30.91%
I'd feel less anxious about being around large groups (26)
11.82%
I don't mind if others are vaccinated or not (18)
8.18%
I'm concerned it may disadvantage some students (12)
5.45%
I think it's an unfair expectation (60)
27.27%
Something else (tell us in the thread) (3)
1.36%

Watched Threads

View All