Does persistence in dating work? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
By persistence I don’t mean a guy constantly texting you and asking you out over a short period of time after you rejected him. I mean a guy who respected your decision, backs off, but comes back after a few months and asks If you might be interested.
Also, if the girl didn’t explicitly say no is it worth another shot.
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ANM775
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does persistence work?

yes and no

many moons ago when I was into PUA, I noticed that the guys who generally did the best were persistent AF and did not take no easily as an answer. Most of the time when they were persistent they were not able to change the girls minds and ended up going away empty handed [often annoying the girl in the process], ...but there's always going to be a small amount of girls who do change their mind if the guy is persistent enough.

Most girls on TSR will tell you not to be persistent [I've asked this question before to them]. However you will get better results being persistent than non persistent ...purely because a small amount of girls who say no will change their mind under enough persistence.

If you are going to be persistence, general rule of thumb is to keep being persistent until the girl physically walks away from you [then give up]. If she's not making attempts to flee from you, then keep going.

I've tried being persistent before but tbh i personally didn't like it, i felt like a beggar ....and if you had to be persistent to get a number/date then more than likely the girl isn't that into you ...and there's still a lot of work to be done before any yields are realized. But if you don't mind that, then go for it.

Regarding the saying "no" thing.
I did notice that the few girls who did cave in when I was being persistent and agree to a number exchange/date after me persistent never actually told me "no" or gave me any solid excuse [like having a bf]. I would be hitting on them, and asking them out and they'd be saying stuff like "i'm not looking for dating right now" or "i'm busy with xyz" ...etc etc

now it could be that those excuses was a infact a hard "no" and the girls were just being polite ... but then again if i were a 70 year old man hitting on them i doubt they'd be telling me "i'm not looking for dating right now" ...or that she's busy with xyz ....she'd probably either invent a bf [which is a hard no in the technical sense], or explicitly tell me no ...as there would be zero attraction to the old man.

Therefore, despite what girls say, it is my opinion that if girls are making excuses but not giving you a hard no ...it could be an indication that there is a bit of attraction there on her part. For some girls though, that won't be true and the soft no's like "I'm not looking for dating right now" is just her way of letting you down gently and she genuinely has no romantic interest in you.
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Lilli22
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If I’ve been going out with a guy and say that maybe we should call it a day, I think it’s attractive when the guy tries to change your mind and reasons with you about how much of a good couple you are together. It shows you mean a lot to him and he wants to make it work.

I also think it’s okay to be persistent after a couple of months of not being together, but be careful to not annoy her or make her feel uncomfortable.

Good luck.
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JaydorIV
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worked with my dad😂😂
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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(Original post by ANM775)
does persistence work?

yes and no

many moons ago when I was into PUA, I noticed that the guys who generally did the best were persistent AF and did not take no easily as an answer. Most of the time when they were persistent they were not able to change the girls minds and ended up going away empty handed [often annoying the girl in the process], ...but there's always going to be a small amount of girls who do change their mind if the guy is persistent enough.

Most girls on TSR will tell you not to be persistent [I've asked this question before to them]. However you will get better results being persistent than non persistent ...purely because a small amount of girls who say no will change their mind under enough persistence.

If you are going to be persistence, general rule of thumb is to keep being persistent until the girl physically walks away from you [then give up]. If she's not making attempts to flee from you, then keep going.

I've tried being persistent before but tbh i personally didn't like it, i felt like a beggar ....and if you had to be persistent to get a number/date then more than likely the girl isn't that into you ...and there's still a lot of work to be done before any yields are realized. But if you don't mind that, then go for it.

Regarding the saying "no" thing.
I did notice that the few girls who did cave in when I was being persistent and agree to a number exchange/date after me persistent never actually told me "no" or gave me any solid excuse [like having a bf]. I would be hitting on them, and asking them out and they'd be saying stuff like "i'm not looking for dating right now" or "i'm busy with xyz" ...etc etc

now it could be that those excuses was a infact a hard "no" and the girls were just being polite ... but then again if i were a 70 year old man hitting on them i doubt they'd be telling me "i'm not looking for dating right now" ...or that she's busy with xyz ....she'd probably either invent a bf [which is a hard no in the technical sense], or explicitly tell me no ...as there would be zero attraction to the old man.

Therefore, despite what girls say, it is my opinion that if girls are making excuses but not giving you a hard no ...it could be an indication that there is a bit of attraction there on her part. For some girls though, that won't be true and the soft no's like "I'm not looking for dating right now" is just her way of letting you down gently and she genuinely has no romantic interest in you.
Usually, I don’t like to be persistent either, as I don’t want to be annoying. But the reason I want to be persistent with this girl is she did show a lot of interest, which was the reason I asked her out. When I asked her, she gave me her number without hesitation and even agreed to go on a date with me, but she eventually rejected the idea a few days later. She rejected me because… you guessed it… she was not ready to date. Now if a girl does give me this excuse I take it as a sign they’re not interested and are letting me down easy. However, when I asked her out, I gave her the opportunity to say no, as I didn’t want to bother her if she wasn't. But she gave me her number and started following me on social media which I thought indicates she is somewhat interested.

So, as it’s been a couple of months since I last asked her out I was going to give it another try. A few of my mates have told me to do so, as like you said she hasn’t given me a hard no and in doing so makes it acceptable to ask her again. Plus, one of my mates asked his girlfriend out 5 times before they started dating and now they share a home together, so i guess it can work.
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ANM775
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Usually, I don’t like to be persistent either, as I don’t want to be annoying. But the reason I want to be persistent with this girl is she did show a lot of interest, which was the reason I asked her out. When I asked her, she gave me her number without hesitation and even agreed to go on a date with me, but she eventually rejected the idea a few days later. She rejected me because… you guessed it… she was not ready to date. Now if a girl does give me this excuse I take it as a sign they’re not interested and are letting me down easy. However, when I asked her out, I gave her the opportunity to say no, as I didn’t want to bother her if she wasn't. But she gave me her number and started following me on social media which I thought indicates she is somewhat interested.

So, as it’s been a couple of months since I last asked her out I was going to give it another try. A few of my mates have told me to do so, as like you said she hasn’t given me a hard no and in doing so makes it acceptable to ask her again. Plus, one of my mates asked his girlfriend out 5 times before they started dating and now they share a home together, so i guess it can work.



Yeah, under those circumstances it well might be worth giving it another go as she did show some good initial interest ...then changed her mind for some reason.
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4StarsOutOf5
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#7
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(Original post by JaydorIV)
worked with my dad😂😂
how many times did you ask him?
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JaydorIV
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(Original post by 4StarsOutOf5)
how many times did you ask him?
what? not with me, my dad was persistent with my mother.
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Roussette
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#9
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I think you could try to "stay" friends with her and not mention anything romantic... until you feel it's the right moment
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