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What To Do When You Realise Your First Love Slipped Away?
I know there are a lot of "I just broke up with my boyfriend" threads about at the moment, but this is slightly different.
I've been in a relationship with this guy for 2 and a half years and it broke up (yes, boohoo, I am upset about this but that isnt the point of this) and was just reflecting on how I felt about him and how I loved him and how I could never love someone in the same way.
And then it sort of hit me. When I was 15/16 I was in love with my best friend. To the extent that I cried for a week when he got a girlfriend. It hurt me so much when I remembered this, because he was the one that got away. He completely slipped through my fingers. I started talking to him again (after three years) and he's not changed, and we get along so well. It makes me so sad that we both moved on without telling each other how we felt (he wanted me too, but was too scared to admit it).
Has anyone else gone through this? Realised that they loved someone that they've now lost forever without even having a chance?
I've been in a relationship with this guy for 2 and a half years and it broke up (yes, boohoo, I am upset about this but that isnt the point of this) and was just reflecting on how I felt about him and how I loved him and how I could never love someone in the same way.
And then it sort of hit me. When I was 15/16 I was in love with my best friend. To the extent that I cried for a week when he got a girlfriend. It hurt me so much when I remembered this, because he was the one that got away. He completely slipped through my fingers. I started talking to him again (after three years) and he's not changed, and we get along so well. It makes me so sad that we both moved on without telling each other how we felt (he wanted me too, but was too scared to admit it).
Has anyone else gone through this? Realised that they loved someone that they've now lost forever without even having a chance?
Reply 1
yes yes and yes.
it was so fleeting when I was doing my A-Levels, I spent a really intense time with a guy and when we got really close one night (having been reliably informed by his friends that he has never been like this with anyone), I woke up in the morning, freaked out and ran away. (ok so not really setting the romantic scene here, but we were at a festival) and he came and found me and I ran away again. As soon as I did I regretted it. But by the time I found him, he had just produced this wall of relative silence which I since, have never been able to penetrate. He got a girlfriend about 3 months later and they are still together. (some 4 years later?) I tried to make amends but I was too late, it was stupid because I don't even know why I ran away but I did. I don't regret where I am now, I have the most amazing boyfriend I could ever hope for, but I do regret not taking that chance and having that experience which would, I reckon, have been incredible.
it was so fleeting when I was doing my A-Levels, I spent a really intense time with a guy and when we got really close one night (having been reliably informed by his friends that he has never been like this with anyone), I woke up in the morning, freaked out and ran away. (ok so not really setting the romantic scene here, but we were at a festival) and he came and found me and I ran away again. As soon as I did I regretted it. But by the time I found him, he had just produced this wall of relative silence which I since, have never been able to penetrate. He got a girlfriend about 3 months later and they are still together. (some 4 years later?) I tried to make amends but I was too late, it was stupid because I don't even know why I ran away but I did. I don't regret where I am now, I have the most amazing boyfriend I could ever hope for, but I do regret not taking that chance and having that experience which would, I reckon, have been incredible.
Reply 2
Yes! Someone else too! We actually told each other that we fancied each other. Then he got a new girlfriend. It made me so angry. I absolutly wanted nothing more other than him!
why not ask 2 meet up, see if the sparks still there, and tell him how you feel?
you've hardly 'lost him forever'
you've hardly 'lost him forever'
Reply 4
He has a new girlfriend. She hates me. Which is kind of ironic. I would have thought that she would have hated his ex girlfriend more than me. But no. She hates me. I can't really meet up with him without it being all secretive and annoying
Reply 5
Exactly this. I was literally in love with a very good friend of mine for a long time but never knew whether to do anything about it. We ended up kissing once and surprisingly everything was going well afterwards but one of my friends from the same friendship group decided she liked him too at this time which complicated matters. A few months down the line he met a different girl who now seems the absolute love of his life, they've been together nearly three years and are totally besotted with each other. They really are a sweet couple, the way they look at each other and treat each other. He spoils her rotten! They do everything together, they've been travelling the world for the past six months. I don't feel bitter about it, Im pleased he has managed to find someone special. Its just a bit sad, in my heart I still have feelings for him -I dont think enough was said between us for me to move on fully.
Reply 6
Anonymous
He has a new girlfriend. She hates me. Which is kind of ironic. I would have thought that she would have hated his ex girlfriend more than me. But no. She hates me. I can't really meet up with him without it being all secretive and annoying
Thats the same here, the girl seems to know what went on between us and somehow feels threatened by me? ...Therefore me and him rarely get the oportunity to chat these days. Strange.
Reply 7
Yeah. I don't like it. I spoke to him the first time in years over MSN the other day, and I was getting one or two word answers and was really freaked out. He came on later and told me that his girlfriend was there so he couldnt talk. I thought that was really really weird. It got me thinking that he must have talked about me or something because we werent even THAT good friends when they were going out. Either that or she hates all females, but especially me for some reason 
(maybe she has me confused with someone else?)
(maybe she has me confused with someone else?)Reply 8
Definitely!
The week I was going to open up and make my feelings known I got done by the RSPCA and she was adopted by new owners.
It still hurts thinking about it.
The week I was going to open up and make my feelings known I got done by the RSPCA and she was adopted by new owners.
It still hurts thinking about it.
Reply 9
I had loved a friend of mine for about 3 years when she died and never told her. but before she died she'd bought me a birthday present and the note with it said how much she loved me.
It wasn't so much a case of 'getting away' but i felt so sad that we'd never said the words to each other. and I always wonder if one of us had said something earlier would things be completely different now.
It wasn't so much a case of 'getting away' but i felt so sad that we'd never said the words to each other. and I always wonder if one of us had said something earlier would things be completely different now.
Reply 10
Anonymous
Has anyone else gone through this? Realised that they loved someone that they've now lost forever without even having a chance?
Has anyone else gone through this? Realised that they loved someone that they've now lost forever without even having a chance?
I'm scared that it's GOING to happen. Basically I've been with a guy for the last month who I had gotton to know really well over the last three months. Thing is he'll have moved to another country in about a months time, and I'll be at uni when he comes back...it worries me cos I like him so much
It's like I'm setting myself up to get hurt, yet I can't do anything about it. Anonymous
I had loved a friend of mine for about 3 years when she died and never told her. but before she died she'd bought me a birthday present and the note with it said how much she loved me.
It wasn't so much a case of 'getting away' but i felt so sad that we'd never said the words to each other. and I always wonder if one of us had said something earlier would things be completely different now.
It wasn't so much a case of 'getting away' but i felt so sad that we'd never said the words to each other. and I always wonder if one of us had said something earlier would things be completely different now.
Thats so sad, I'm so sorry
Reply 11
It's bloody heart breaking!
you should do everything you can to keep your first love in your life
face facts, you will never get over them completely - if you can, do everything to make it work, it really is worth it
there are times when walking away seems like the best option, but when you are where I am now, after a series of failed relationships with only memories tiding you over- you will wish you had hung on a little bit longer
you should do everything you can to keep your first love in your life
face facts, you will never get over them completely - if you can, do everything to make it work, it really is worth it
there are times when walking away seems like the best option, but when you are where I am now, after a series of failed relationships with only memories tiding you over- you will wish you had hung on a little bit longer
I have been in love with this girl for about 4 years now. I've known her for all of our lives as we are really close family friends and have grown up with each other. When we were younger I didn't really pay any attention to her and mainly played with her bro. I'm 17 now and have been in love with her for years.... I've never said anything to her about it because we're pretty close and our families are really close. When ever I see her we get on really well but really I'm to scared to make a move... because of what could happen. It's weird... my friends say that we look similar and it's true that we share similar tastes.
I don't know what to do. It's entirely possible see feels the same way but we're never going to tell each other.
I don't know what to do. It's entirely possible see feels the same way but we're never going to tell each other.
Reply 13
Yes. We went through such an awful break-up and because he lived so far away it quite literally felt like something inside me had died at thought of never being able to tell him I loved him one last time. No matter how much you cherish someone you never really realise how acute it is until you can't touch them anymore. OP, I know what you mean - no matter how many words you have it always feels like they're never enough and I later found out that after months of pain he was still in love with me but terrified of telling me. It's really awful, and the hardest thing is not hoping and wonder what if.
And Anon #3, for what it's worth I'm so sorry.
And Anon #3, for what it's worth I'm so sorry.
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