Boyfriend goes soft before sex

Hey, so I’m just after a bit of advice.

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year. We haven’t had sex during this time due to the fact that his foreskin was too tight which caused him pain when we would attempt to have sex. I have been fully supportive and made it known that there is no pressure.

Earlier this year he had a circumcision to rectify the problem. It took at least two months for his penis to heal properly.

Since then we have been trying to have sex. Every time we attempt to, he goes soft. I’ve asked him why and he is clueless.

I’m becoming impatient because I’ve waited so long. The issue was fixed with the surgery but now it appears to have created a different one.

What can I do?

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Reply 1

A Rolling Stone

Original post by PrincesaX

try having sex with as many clothes on as possible, it sounds weird but it will work

Viagra

Original post by CollectiveSoul

try having sex with as many clothes on as possible, it sounds weird but it will work

Surprisingly, this.

Reply 4

Joleee

Original post by CollectiveSoul

try having sex with as many clothes on as possible, it sounds weird but it will work

why would it work? just wondering.

Reply 5

agencbet

Original post by Profesh

Surprisingly, this.

i didn't get it lol

Reply 6

A Rolling Stone

Original post by Joleee

why would it work? just wondering.

i think the clothes add an element of novelty, like to make it feel more spontaneous and unplanned

Reply 7

Ems11

Find out what kind of things turn him on - its usually the visuals for most guys. It could be that he likes you to dress in a certain way in the bedroom, a certain dress, high heels, trainers? lol, lingerie etc!
He could have some personal insecurities like he thinks you thinks something about him isn't attractive or whatever, so speak to him.

(edited 5 years ago)

viagra

It's likely just nervousness causing the problem rather than a side-effect of the surgery. Just keep trying.

Reply 10

PrincesaX

Original post by Ems11

I’ve spoken to him and we are both very open about this. I think he could be overthinking it. Maybe being a bit more spontaneous so he didn’t have time to think about what was happening as much would work but I don’t know.

It’s exhausting

Reply 11

PrincesaX

Original post by sinfonietta

It's likely just nervousness causing the problem rather than a side-effect of the surgery. Just keep trying.

Yes I thought this too. However, when I have addressed this with him he is certain that he isn’t nervous and is in a state of confusion as to why it’s happening.

Part of me feels that he isn’t that attracted to me, hence why he keeps going soft. In the past I’ve had issues with him regarding the fact that he doesn’t compliment me etc

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 12

Ems11

Original post by PrincesaX

Maybe try being on top of him, bathe lube around the genitals and just slowly grind your "entry" along the length of his under shaft while kissing/feeling each other.
You've probably done that, I'm just throwing out ideas.

Reply 13

The RAR

Just **** another guy if you really want sex, it's usually the guys who really want sex from girls not the other way round!

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

I agree with the clothes part. I find a girl wearing tight clothes hotter than naked sometimes, it’s nicer to be teased than to have everything at once. Plus if I’m wearing good clothes I feel way more sexy and hence feel the opposite of nervous.

Sounds like he’s nervous, self conscious and/or not excited… tell him to quit porn and masturbating too. He’s obviously doing that if you’ve gone 4 months without sex.

Reply 15

PrincesaX

Original post by The RAR

Just **** another guy if you really want sex, it's usually the guys who really want sex from girls not the other way round!

So you suggest I cheat? Lol

Reply 16

emmataco

hmm find another guy with a working reproductive organ lol

Reply 17

UWS

Impatience will get you nowhere, in fact it might make him even more stressed out if you have this disgruntled or bored look on your face.

He could be nervous or maybe there's something going on in his life that's giving him stress or anxiety. You should be there to support him regardless and keep trying.

Reply 18

A Rolling Stone

Original post by PrincesaX

So you suggest I cheat? Lol

you sound tempted tbh, is this issue a dealbreaker for you? if so you might have to call it a day

Reply 19

PrincesaX

Original post by CollectiveSoul

you sound tempted tbh, is this issue a dealbreaker for you? if so you might have to call it a day

Not tempted in the slightest. This has been an ongoing issue since we met and I’ve been very patient. But patience can start to wear thin when you’ve been waiting for a long time, then eventually when the time comes and it doesn’t happen it becomes frustrating.