Just Graduated University but still a kissless virgin

Don't normally do this but it's almost 1am and this all stuff is keeping me awake. I just graduated from a Russel Group University with a first class integrated masters degree in engineering.

However, I have never so much as kissed a girl in my entire life and I feel I've messed up somehow. It seems like a lot of people go to uni virgins and leave having met someone but for whatever reason I seemed to have missed this. I wouldn't describe myself as unsocial, I've always hated clubbing but don't mind going to the pub and was active in several societies (I was the president of one for two years) as well as being on a University sports team. I have an A2 licence and a fairly high performance motorcycle I love riding. I've read more books and seen more films than anyone I know. People say I'm reasonably good looking funny and nice to be around etc. Honestly I just don't know what I am doing wrong.

There was a girl at sixth form. She had a bf though and I made the mistake of confessing how I felt about her at a school event and trying to kiss her. She told me she didn't mine but she didn't feel the same. A few years later at a party (When she was really drunk) she kissed me on the cheek and told me I was too nice. That is literally as far as I have ever been with anybody. Sometimes I wonder if the feeling I still harbour for this girl is the reason why I have struggled to meet anyone else.

Now that I've moved home and I'm seeing my school friends they all seem to have boyfriends and girlfriends and take me less seriously because of it.

I have a PhD starting in Oct and I can't imagine doing anything else (little else interests me). The project is quite literally my dream project encompassing all the things that made me want to study engineering in the first place (I won't bore people with the details). I've always wanted to be a crazy inventor like Doc Brown from bttf. However, I feel that this could be a very lonely path to take and the chances of meeting anyone special are slim.

I want to believe in all these romantic ideas that there is someone for everyone etc etc. But I really struggle to buy into it. I feel I've either missed my chance or it doesn't exist.

Reply 1

Izzyeviel

Tinder is your friend

Welcome to TSR.

what kind of women are you going after, do you have too high of standards? or are you not trying hard enough? have you tried online dating?

do you have cool friends? if your friends are jerks it might be hard to find a girl because she'll be turned off by your social circle. just throwing out ideas.

Reply 4

J...H

At least you have a degree I guess. Physical intimacy isn't all that

Reply 5

J...H

Also you're only what? 21? That hardly old. If you're super desperate just meet someone at a club or on Tider

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Izzyeviel

Tinder is your friend

I feel that tinder a very shallow way of meeting people. I'm sure some people have a lot of success on it. However, I don't think it's for me. Besides I don't even have a smart phone. I feel they're just a distraction from whats going one around you.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by J...H

Also you're only what? 21? That hardly old. If you're super desperate just meet someone at a club or on Tider

"Give me a place to stand and with a lever I will move the whole world" Theoretically sound but the practically impossible for me. I was dragged to plenty of clubs during my first year at university. I don't like drinking because of a medical condition and how alcohol effects it so I rarely drink and if I do it's fairly moderate.

Have you ever been in a club sober? My God do people realise how stupid they're acting. Quite frankly it's just embarrassing. I've seen so many of my friends waste so much money buying girls drinks that leads to no where plus you're surrounded by hyper aggressive people full of alcohol and drugs. I've had to break up two fights between my friends and other people. This really just isn't the place for me.

Reply 8

Slflay

Just work on yourself and enjoy life, the right person will come along. I know its stereotypical to say, but its a reason people say it often. Many people and myself have been through it, you will be fine in the future :smile:

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Kek @ suggesting Tinder. If you aren't very good looking, you won't find success. Srs.

OP your post is sad. I assume you are white. It's difficult for you, as movies, society, culture have all convinced you you'll blossom from awkward nerd at school to stud at Uni. That at Uni you'll get laid, everyone gets laid.

Is not true fam. No matter how people sugar coat. Fact is, if you are 25 without experience, it gets difficult. It is a turn off.

You can only keep trying, keep going. Try online dating sites, not Tinder but more srs ones. Good luck man.

Reply 10

Lechatn0ir

Objectively, how would you rate your looks? Also you come across as intelligent but maybe in real life you could give off a boring, uninviting vibe? (Don’t get offended, I don’t know you). I think the hard bit for you would be to attract the girl initially and also go for the right girls who you think will appreciate the real you (unless you want to hit it and quit it, in which case tinder is the way)

Reply 11

ICUP1

As someone else said work on yourself, girls usually come to you when your not trying to actively seek them out - you get on with your life and focus on managing and upgrading it, females will notice and out of the 20 down the street that will notice you 6 to 4 will approach you and you see where it goes

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

I'm in the same boat now and feel awful. Desperate to make up for lost time-will be like a second job just trying to lose my virginity rip

Reply 13

Kandiman

Original post by Anonymous

I've read more books and seen more films than anyone I know.

This is your problem.

These things take a lot of time and don't happen around people.

I love a good book, I love a good movie. I don't often meet people while I'm enjoying them.