How to not be jealous of other girls?

I've made some friends from uni recently. We talk a lot on social media and there are guys and girls. I get quite a bit of attention mostly for my personality lol but i mean for how I look too but I noticed I get called cute a lot or "angelic" because i act like a hoe but I look so innocent. And altho there are guys, I notice how these guys so quickly pay attention to the other girls moving ot them calling them peng.

It makes me feel so jealous. I hate being jealous. I hate that I feel this way but I want that attention. i hate that guys altho bants with me and find me attractive are always mad moving to these other girls who are gorgeous. I cant even compete. Idec about these guys, I just met them but I want the attention.

I'm really worried that this is going to affect my time at uni because I'm very sensitive and insecure. How tf do i deal with this?

bump

You only going for the top tier hot guys? There may be some normal average dude crushing on you secretly considering your supposed looks/personality who you should also go for.

Youre a *****

I suspect you are misinterpreting others behaviour.

Maybe just relax be yourself, and don't get worked up about competing for male attention. Life is not all about being in a relationship or getting laid.

Reply 5

Dunnig Kruger

You will naturally become less sensitive and more secure as you get older. You can also help this process along by re-inventing yourself. By changing your inner philosophy on life. Mainly by taking your life far less seriously than you have been up to now.

Think of your life as some kind of Shakespearian comedy. Or as being like some comedy programme on TV, like Fools and Horses, where you lurch from one comedic setback to another.

Stop being perfectionist too. Use Pareto as your general guideline in life. The 80% results for 20% effort rule of thumb.

You aren't going to have all the people liking you all of the time. Having some people that like you most of the time is good enough.

It's great that you have a charismatic personality. That gives you an instant advantage over 80% of your peers.
It's also great that you have "innocent" looks.
And it's great if you are sexually adventurous and confident.

You have the main ingredients to be a prosperous adult person. You just need a little bit of work on your self-confidence, that will naturally improve over time anyway.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

If you are standing next to a girl who's more attractive who do you think the guy will give more attention to?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

If you are standing next to a girl who's more attractive who do you think the guy will give more attention to?

the girl obvi

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

This is really good advice! Thank you
can you elaborate on how to use pareto in my life
also how do I see my life as a comedy? Ik i take myself to seriously and it's stupid but how do I stop caring about boys and ****.

I'm just worried that my current toxic mindset will absolutely destroy because im v insecure.

Reply 9

Dunnig Kruger

Original post by Anonymous

When someone says or does something that presses your "sensitive" buttons either stop and laugh at it, or think to yourself, this is a bad experience and in a few weeks time I'll be making jokes about it and laughing at it.

Pareto. The very general rule of thumb where you acheive 80% of the desired result from 20% of the effort. A few examples:
Getting 80% of the available marks from 20% of the studying effort. Getting the remaining 20% to bring you up to 100% of the marks available would require the reaining 80% of the effort.
Getting 80% of the marks for an assignment or project by doing it quickly instead of aiming for top marks and taking ages over it.
In other words it's better to do a lot of things to good standard than to do a few things to perfection whilst not having the time to even start doing some things.Time is the most valuable commodity that we have.

Part of all of this is developing a bit of detachment from your own life. Over time you will see that things that are highly important to you are almost always not that important to other people. That's because what's most important to other people, most of the time, is their own lives and not yours.
It's about getting some perspective on your place in the Universe. You are not the centre of the Universe. The World does not revolve around you.
Just aim to be content in life in general and accept the setbacks that come your way with as good a humour as you can.

You may also have parents / brothers / sisters that spend more time putting you down than building you up. If that's the case, ignore or laugh at their criticism (behind their backs if it gives you an easier time). Keep reminding yourself of all the things that you are good at - eg charismatic personality.