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My mother wants my bursary

I was recently awarded a £26,000 bursary for my teacher training course. When I told this to my mum, she said I should transfer the money over to her so that she can use that money to pay for my brother’s tuition fees when he does his teacher training course. She is already paying for my fees but she agreed to do that. So, why should I have to give her my bursary for it?

Also, my brother will probably get his own bursary anyway so why is my mum demanding that I give my bursary to him? Her argument is that I will just spend it but the bursary is there to be spent on living costs. What is the point of me saving it when I will be getting a job after I graduate and be earning a salary?

Now, my mum won’t stop asking whether I have received my bursary yet. I can’t be rude to her because she is paying my fees. Should I just lie and say I didn’t qualify for it?
I wouldn't give it to her. Say you'll pay the rest of the fees if you need to. She didn't say she wanted the money back when she gave it to you did she?
Original post by Anonymous
I was recently awarded a £26,000 bursary for my teacher training course. When I told this to my mum, she said I should transfer the money over to her so that she can use that money to pay for my brother’s tuition fees when he does his teacher training course. She is already paying for my fees but she agreed to do that. So, why should I have to give her my bursary for it?

Also, my brother will probably get his own bursary anyway so why is my mum demanding that I give my bursary to him? Her argument is that I will just spend it but the bursary is there to be spent on living costs. What is the point of me saving it when I will be getting a job after I graduate and be earning a salary?

Now, my mum won’t stop asking whether I have received my bursary yet. I can’t be rude to her because she is paying my fees. Should I just lie and say I didn’t qualify for it?


Just tell her it's your money and it was given to you for your living costs, and she is not entitled to it. She has no rights to demand someone else's money.
Sounds like your first lesson in standing up on your own two feet.
Original post by Anonymous
I was recently awarded a £26,000 bursary for my teacher training course. When I told this to my mum, she said I should transfer the money over to her so that she can use that money to pay for my brother’s tuition fees when he does his teacher training course. She is already paying for my fees but she agreed to do that. So, why should I have to give her my bursary for it?

Also, my brother will probably get his own bursary anyway so why is my mum demanding that I give my bursary to him? Her argument is that I will just spend it but the bursary is there to be spent on living costs. What is the point of me saving it when I will be getting a job after I graduate and be earning a salary?

Now, my mum won’t stop asking whether I have received my bursary yet. I can’t be rude to her because she is paying my fees. Should I just lie and say I didn’t qualify for it?

She can’t have it because it’s not hers to ask for or to take it. ‘I can’t be rude to her because she is paying my fees’. She is manipulating you. You need to tell it to her straight.
That is your money, and not hers.
Your brother sorts out his own bursary and financial affairs.
Time to stand up for yourself or you will be doing this for ever.
Reply 5
Avatar for IWMTom
IWMTom
20
Original post by Anonymous
I was recently awarded a £26,000 bursary for my teacher training course. When I told this to my mum, she said I should transfer the money over to her so that she can use that money to pay for my brother’s tuition fees when he does his teacher training course. She is already paying for my fees but she agreed to do that. So, why should I have to give her my bursary for it?

Also, my brother will probably get his own bursary anyway so why is my mum demanding that I give my bursary to him? Her argument is that I will just spend it but the bursary is there to be spent on living costs. What is the point of me saving it when I will be getting a job after I graduate and be earning a salary?

Now, my mum won’t stop asking whether I have received my bursary yet. I can’t be rude to her because she is paying my fees. Should I just lie and say I didn’t qualify for it?

Why's she paying your fees?
Reply 6
Avatar for s817
s817
21
Original post by Anonymous
I was recently awarded a £26,000 bursary for my teacher training course. When I told this to my mum, she said I should transfer the money over to her so that she can use that money to pay for my brother’s tuition fees when he does his teacher training course. She is already paying for my fees but she agreed to do that. So, why should I have to give her my bursary for it?

Also, my brother will probably get his own bursary anyway so why is my mum demanding that I give my bursary to him? Her argument is that I will just spend it but the bursary is there to be spent on living costs. What is the point of me saving it when I will be getting a job after I graduate and be earning a salary?

Now, my mum won’t stop asking whether I have received my bursary yet. I can’t be rude to her because she is paying my fees. Should I just lie and say I didn’t qualify for it?


Don't give it to her, it's your money to do what you want with. Why is she paying your fees anyway? can't you get a loan from student finance or use the bursary to pay the remainder of your fees?
(edited 5 years ago)
Don't give it to her.

Money wrecks family. Some background; my cousin borrowed my aunts car under the condition she would drive my aunt (who is disabled) wherever she needed to go. My grandparents gave my aunt her inheritance early since they sold their house and moved in with us, literally within a week, my cousin was asking my aunt if she could have half of it- when my aunt denied her, my cousin refused to return her car or drive her anywhere and also refused to allow my aunt to see her grandchildren. The same cousin currently refuses to attend family events when my sister and her fiance go, because my cousin bought a car from my sister and then they broke it, followed by saying they were cheated and want their money back. Basically most of my family have a poor opinion of my cousin now because of £800 (on a car valued at £2,000) and £6,000 of partial pre-death inheritance.

That money is for you to live on for learning. Not for anyone else. It doesn't matter if your brother gets his bursary or not, it's YOUR money for YOUR future, no one elses. Obviously that means paying your mother back for what she's paid so far and continuing to pay the rest on your own.

Money is a means to end. If you don't use it, you're a Moron.
(edited 5 years ago)
Reply 8
Avatar for ANM775
ANM775
20
don't do it

If there is any beef between you and your mother or she simply changes her mind then you are royally f****d if you have given away your bursary.....
Even if you do spend it on whatever like, it's YOUR money so you're entitled to do exactly as you please with it
my mum has tried to take my money before as well, I told her she has no legal rights to it, she told me to leave. I did :smile: was temporarily homeless but things work out in the end sometimes.
Looool I get student loan and bursary, family always want a bit of it but u got £26k from ur teaching course which is a lot. You shouldn’t have to feel pressured like u need that money to support urself. Ur mum probably thinks ur irresponsible and a complete spender but just prove that ur not. Money is a true desire looool and it’s ur mum like she’s probs gonna be like “I brought u into this world I deserve that money” type thing but ngl if asking for all of it and it’s a big issue just stand ur ground. Can’t be stressing whilst tryna make a living can u?
additional to the above quote* “anonymous #3”, mothers can be a little over the top and excessive but if ur gonna stand ur ground pls do it with a lil decency and respect. Just be completely honest with her. Don’t get into beef w her pls. If she’s difficult to handle it calmly and collectively. Good luck

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