Don’t see my boyfriend on weekends Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 months ago
#1
So, I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now and I help coach his Saturday team on Saturday mornings and Sunday team on sunday afternoons. He also watches his city play every other Saturday afternoon and goes to the pub with his friends afterwards

I don’t necessarily enjoy it but I know if I didn’t help I wouldn’t see him a lot. I’m thinking about quitting but if I do that, he will coach his team on Saturday mornings, watch his local team on a Saturday afternoon and then coach his other team on a Sunday and I’m not sure where I’d fit in to all this. He watches his local team every other Saturday. But it still means I’d get kicked out his house early on a Saturday when he leaves and again on a Sunday. He will have a drink with the match on Saturday afternoons which means I won’t see him until late Saturday night if I’m willing to drive over to then leave again in the morning. It just seems like a lot and I’m after a second opinion.

What do I do? I’m not happy and I’ve brought it up so many times but he loves to help out.
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Artsystudent
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#2
Report 9 months ago
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I might have to split this into points to break down my thought process. 1.If you really love this guy and you still think it's worth it, sometimes compromises are in order. If he loves what he does you have to let him embrace it as long as he isn't harming anyone. If you had a commitment or a hobby that you love that took up your time, wouldn't you hope he was okay with it?

2.Do you only see him at the weekends? not at all during the week? Redflag. If he hasn't commented on the fact he doesn't see you enough, and expressed the same amount of concern as you, then this a definite problem. He is either being a typical guy that needs to escape from 'the other half' every now again to give him some independence (the 'I love you but I have a funny way of showing it', or he is subconsciously sabotaging the relationship to end it organically.

3. It seems he hasn't invested anything of him into your routine, it seems your routine is his routine, and you are clearly unhappy with the arrangment. Which to me means you have answered your own question. I don't think an ultimatum is in order, you just need to tell him 'this is a lot of work, are you struggling as I am, probably not....I'm going to go, see you around...or never.' I think you need to find someone you aren't chasing. I hope that helps =/
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bones-mccoy
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#3
Report 9 months ago
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Do you not see him in the week?
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 8 months ago
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(Original post by Artsystudent)
I might have to split this into points to break down my thought process. 1.If you really love this guy and you still think it's worth it, sometimes compromises are in order. If he loves what he does you have to let him embrace it as long as he isn't harming anyone. If you had a commitment or a hobby that you love that took up your time, wouldn't you hope he was okay with it?

2.Do you only see him at the weekends? not at all during the week? Redflag. If he hasn't commented on the fact he doesn't see you enough, and expressed the same amount of concern as you, then this a definite problem. He is either being a typical guy that needs to escape from 'the other half' every now again to give him some independence (the 'I love you but I have a funny way of showing it', or he is subconsciously sabotaging the relationship to end it organically.

3. It seems he hasn't invested anything of him into your routine, it seems your routine is his routine, and you are clearly unhappy with the arrangment. Which to me means you have answered your own question. I don't think an ultimatum is in order, you just need to tell him 'this is a lot of work, are you struggling as I am, probably not....I'm going to go, see you around...or never.' I think you need to find someone you aren't chasing. I hope that helps =/
We do see each other in the week but it’s after work and we don’t live together so probably for 2 hours where we will need to cook dinner, shower and go to bed. I’d swap weeknights any day for a day out on a weekend. I just want something to look forward to of a weekend otherwise what’s the point? I may as well work Saturdays and Sundays to get extra money and see my friends in the week.
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