Sink or swim: Take 2Watch
I'm Alby and I'm about to start my AS Levels and I'm really f***ing terrified.
New school (well college), new people, new subjects.
And this isn't my first time.
Keeping the long story short, in 2016 I got my GCSEs, moved to a new Sixth Form and took Maths, Physics, Further Maths and Computing for AS.
I finished the year with AABB and absolutely no idea what I was going to do at uni.
I did a few summer schools and decided that I would try and keep everyone (well, my teachers) happy by doing Physics and that I'd shut up about freaking out.
Enter Year 13.
Everything was fine, apart from this creeping sense of dread that nothing was going to be fine because I couldn't stand the thought of doing more Physics.
And then everything kind of paused for a bit. I ended up in hospital in October for four months and in that time went from taking 3 A Levels to 2 to 1 to...
And I dropped out.
I spent the remainder of my year on basically an odd gap year. I did a drama course, an employability skills course, got a job and was determined that I wasn't going to go back to school.
And then August happened. I hadn't really been in school for 10 months. My mental health had been pretty bad for a bit, I was always tired and I felt so unproductive.
So I binge-applied to all the colleges that would take less than an hour to get to, and I waited.
Meanwhile I was freaking out that because I had left it so late I wasn't going to be able to get a place anywhere.
But a few days later, I got a letter in the post and it told me I could go to enrolment so I did.
And here we are now.
I'm restarting my A Levels on Thursday taking Maths, Psychology and Biology. I don't know what I'm going to do afterwards and I'm ridiculously terrified and ridiculously excited and ridiculously dreading the thought of having to wake up before 11am.
But here we go.
Sink or Swim: Take 2.
(And Alby. I know we have it in us.)
I want to try and focus more on enjoying the subjects and then in a few months time when I know what subjects I'm better at and enjoy, I can begin to make a decision.
So today was induction day.
I didn't sleep well last night - I did some yoga so I was decently relaxed, but I guess sub consciously I wasn't.
Anyways, got up, showered, yogad, ate breakfast and off I went.
We got put into forms based on our options - so everyone in my form does Maths, and then we attempted some ice breakers, did some paper work and then had a break.
After the break we had subject tasters which were basically teachers telling us that we needed to buy textbooks and "here's 10% off if you buy from Waterstone's".
After my form tutor spoke to me to ask what I had been doing the past year.
And then home I went.
I'm really tense (but that could just be because my bag was super heavy) and quite anxious, but the day did go fine - I hung around with people and didn't do anything wrong by my standards.
Am I looking forwards to waking up at 7 tomorrow?
(lol. Sorry. this is really boring. I just enjoy looking back at old posts.)
Bonjour mes enfants.
Today was my first day of lessons.
I started at 11 with Biology which was just recap (well mainly chemistry recap because our first unit is biological molecules).
Followed on with some good old y=mx+c (and boy was I bored) in Maths and then ended the day with Psychology - attatchment theory in animals (and I really like the people in Psychology that I've spoken to so far!)
Tonight my plan is to get my Maths and Psychology homework done and then write some Chem notes for Carbohydrates and the recap we did in class.
--End of boring segment--
A month in already
But to be honest, things are okay.
I'm sitting in Further Maths lessons because I was so bored in the first week of Maths - and I guess I'll probably decide this week if I want to actually take it.
Biology is great. It's so ridiculously interesting!!! I genuinely can't believe I used to hate it (although I certainly know why that was the case).
Psychology is slow. It's okay. I find what we're learning relatively interesting and the classes are interesting - but there's just something missing. But I'm really excited for psychopathology later on (well, as is the entirety of the class).
Socially, yes, I have friends. I am tres suprised.
I talk to people without dying of awkwardness. Also tres suprise. Well not teachers, my conversations with teachers are very awkward, but that's only 75% my fault.
Last week we had progress tests for all subjects - and I'll be getting all my results back on Tuesday.
I know I got full marks in FM (but it was only one question) and I've probably majorly f***ed my regular Maths - and I don't know about the other two.
I'm beginning to think about uni and courses. I'm currently debating between something healthcare-related or biology. I'm inching towards medicine. but I think it's highly unlikely I'll get in and the thought of trying to arrange work experience or even volunteering, doesn't feel great.
And that is all for now.
good luck. i know it isn't easy at all. you're doing great so far keep it up!
This week flew by really fast - we had progress review day on Tuesday so we only had to be in for a bit to find out our progress test results and speak to our tutors and write some targets.
Overall I'm pretty happy with them all
Maths - A (97%)
Further Maths - x (100%) (I wasn't enrolled in FM when I took the exam so didn't get a grade)
Psychology - A (?)
Biology B - (86%) (Apparently the grades we were given were given by our form tutors, but no one really understands).
I'm struggling to get my flashcards/revision material done - It ends up piling up for the weekend and even though I know a flashcard won't take more than five minutes to do - it just feels like such a waste of time.
The week's been good this week.
I'm getting really stressed when my work gets peer-marked - and I know I just have to stop putting so much pressure on myself (particularly in Maths) to get great grades - it's just a lot easier said than done.
And now I shall go to sleep.
Well done with those marks tho
And the first half term has been and gone...
It went... well... a lot better than I thought it would?
My grades are all fine, I don't feel overworked or overwhelmed and apart from maybe putting too much pressure on myself (because that perfectionist life), everything is good.
To be honest, my head's getting worse again and I probably should mention it to someone but I really don't feel I can. I hope it's just a seasonal thing but I'll just have to manage it for the time being.
I've got most of my half term homework done already (My organisation skills have really improved dramatically) and so most of the work I'm doing will be practise questions and mind maps etc. But I'm going away tomorrow for a few days, and I'm working at the end of next week so I feel like a lot of my work will be condensed into only a couple of days - but it will all be fine - fingers crossed.
I really don't know what else there is to say and I feel like I'm both swimming and sinking at the same time, but *shrugs*, hopefully it will all work out.
And that is that for now,
I'm really unsure about whether I should be posting more regularly or not - well certainly during term time when there actually is relevant content to talk about...
We're half way through half term.
I was away tilll Monday - it was suprisingly a lot more fun than I thought it would be! I visited friends at Warwick and Bristol and although I wouldn't apply to either come next year, it was really great getting to look round the campus and city (respectively) - especially Warwick. I visited Warwick last year and I hated it but it really was quite nice going back.
Yesterday (Tuesday) I didn't get any work done whatsoever. I was exhausted from Monday (had a train cancellation on the way back and it took an extra 3 trains to get home and I was so drained) and my mind wasn't really in an a-okay place so I just had the day to myself.
Today (Wednesday) I did what I could of 4 Psychology papers (I'm half way through 3 out of 6 modules so I could only really do about 40% overall) and then I did some Biology past questions on DNA and Protein Synthesis (such a fun topic!).
I'm really enjoying both Psych and Biology a lot currently and I'm beginning to despise(?) Maths which is a very odd feeling for me. I think part of it's down to the fact that I keep making really stupid mistakes on end of unit tests and I know I know the content and my teachers hopefully know I know the content but it's so infuriating because I just want to get it all right.
I've been doing a lot of uni research the past couple of days: Currently course wise I'm floating between Psychology, Neuroscience and some form of Life Science (Either bio sciences or bio med) and I really regret not taking Chemistry as I'd have a larger variety of courses to choose from but I made my decision and I have to live with it.
I'm also beginning considering applying to one of Oxbridge - I know it's quite early and my grades could really go downhill but I'd rather be over prepared than under prepared.Oxford is probably quite unlikely because my GCSEs are relatively low but ehh.
Tomorrow I'm going to mark today's work, do a Psychology 12 Marker that I completely forgot to get round to doing and probably try and get some Further Maths done - I'm considering attempting a full paper because theoretically I should be able to do one but I probably should just focus on individual topics.
And that t'is it for now,
(Also I'm really considering coming out at college on Halloween by wearing a dress but I figure no one will actually get it and it'll just be a day of extreme discomfort for me )
Well the interesting part of the day is that I've apparently been roped in into doing extra FM tutoring once a week for my class and I'm just a bit But I guess we shall see how that goes.
Today was one of my two good timetable days - I only had Psychology and FM (admittedly 9am starts are never good, but beggars can't be choosers I guess) and I had a meeting about exam arrangments because my hands are a tad f***ed.
My past mental health got brought up and I've been referred to a Mental Health Advisor person and I kind of wish they'd just leave it alone but .
When I got home I got into a compulsory argument with my brother because he refuses to ever do any school work or chores, and then somehow managed to bang out about 3.5 hours of work - and only about 10 minutes of it was actually necessary ( Albie the Nerd(?)/Geek(?)/Odd human(?)) and then I went out to catch up with an old friend.
And that t'is that.
I've started doing textbook questions on covered chapters at the end of every day because I wasn't really enjoying writing flashcards - I probably will keep them up and persevere for a while, but I think I might settle on a glossary and practise questions as my main form of revision this year.
And I think I'm going to go to bed. I've got another 9am tomorrow and unless I come home in my free (Which isn't really worth it), I won't be getting home till 10:30 and Friday is a 9am as well and I won't finish work till 11pm so SLEEP.
Goodnight (and Happy Halloween )
i don't do a lot of flashcards either, just prefer making my own revision notes and textbook questions can be very useful