Any harsh realities about university life? Watch

SuperHuman98
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Are some societies just not that active?
How many friends do you really make?

I just want to make sure I have my expectations right about university.
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Leviathan1741
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(Original post by SuperHuman98)
Are some societies just not that active?
How many friends do you really make?

I just want to make sure I have my expectations right about university.
You probably won't make friends in halls

I say this based on the fact that I stayed in halls for the first two years of my degree and didn't make friends with anyone I lived with, despite being friendly and trying to engage with them. It seems like most of my friends had a similar experience.

I made the mistake of thinking I'd make at least one friend in halls, but in reality I don't think anyone in my flats actually became even remotely friendly with each other, we rarely saw each other in fact
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username2569523
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(Original post by Leviathan1741)
You probably won't make friends in halls

I say this based on the fact that I stayed in halls for the first two years of my degree and didn't make friends with anyone I lived with, despite being friendly and trying to engage with them. It seems like most of my friends had a similar experience.

I made the mistake of thinking I'd make at least one friend in halls, but in reality I don't think anyone in my flats actually became even remotely friendly with each other, we rarely saw each other in fact
I agree with this. I made most my friends in my courses rather than in the accomodation.

Any other harsh realities...I don’t really know. You’ll have plenty of “free time” aka not in lectures, tutorials, etc but you’ll still have to work hard during it as the volume of the content can be quite high (it also does depend on the course I suppose)

If you’ve never lived alone from home that can also be quite tough. Adjusting to living alone and being independant. It varies from person to person though
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Sataris
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I wouldn't write off your flatmates based on this though! My corridor in first year loved each other
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SarcAndSpark
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(Original post by SuperHuman98)
Are some societies just not that active?
How many friends do you really make?

I just want to make sure I have my expectations right about university.
I think if you make an effort to make friends you will make some. I had about 5 close friends on my course and then several acquaintances I was social with, which was plenty for me as I was also local enough to see my home friends some weekends. If I'd really thrown myself into uni life, I'm sure I would have made more friends!

I'd say the biggest culture shock at uni for a lot of people is that the support just isn't there anymore. You are left to stand on your own two feet and if you miss a deadline or **** up, that's that. There is help available, but only if you ask for it. If you just stop turning up or stop doing the work, there isn't the safety net you have in school.
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Michiyo
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(Original post by SuperHuman98)
Are some societies just not that active?
How many friends do you really make?

I just want to make sure I have my expectations right about university.
Moved to University life.

1. You will most likely not become best friends with your flatmates. In fact, you are probably more likely to hate them than to be friends with them, at least from my experience.
2. You will not have fun all the time. Chances are you will spend more time complaining about your reading and assignments than having fun.
3. There is a decent chance you will not make many friends. I myself only made like one true friend and have not spoken to the others in months, even if they were 'friends' while at university.
4. Do not expect to get any cool internship or placement lest you have a huge amount of work experience.
5. Going to university does not mean you will instantly make friends, have fun, go to parties, get drunk, and so forth. Yes, you are more likely to do these things, but if you want such things, you have to seek them and work for them.
6. Do not think you can go through university with no work experience from a part-time job, internship or volunteering and then get an amazing job as a graduate. Get a job even if you do not need the money since working is unlikely to affect your grades (look at all those people with Firsts who worked during university!) and any work experience is better than no experience.
7. Reading will be the bane of your life. This goes double because you (OP) study history and most history reading is a string of extremely detailed examples that no one remembers or cares about.
8. There are so many students who are addicted to illicit substances that you should always be careful so as not to get involved with the wrong crowd.
9. For humanities and social science students: your average will never be higher than 75% (maybe 80% if you are a genius or lucky), even if everything you wrote was perfect and worth 100%, because teachers do not give higher marks (there are extremely few exceptions to this).
10. You will almost definitely be annoyed by your flatmates at least a few times.
11. Your life will not magically change for the better and come together now that you are in university. You will not suddenly do well in university, make friends, have fun, find a boyfriend/girlfriend, and get a job with decent pay. University can be life-changing, but it will only be as life-changing as you make it.
12. Most societies are actually not that active. A lot of them stop meeting towards the end of the year because no one can be bothered to participate in them anymore.
13. If you find university hard, then there is a very good chance that you are just on the wrong course or not revising enough/properly or that university is simply not for you.
14. Anyone can get a First as long as they do not meet the criteria in the point above, so do not aim for any less and do not make up excuses why you cannot do it. Do not settle for anything less than a 2:1. You can still succeed in life with less than 2:1, but it will be much harder, so do yourself a favour and try to get at least a 2:1.
15. Not all university students and graduates are smart, but they all think they are.
16. Just because you got a 2:1 or a First, do not think you are automatically a better candidate for jobs or that you are special or anything like that. 50% of students get a 2:1 and 25% of students get a First. Your work experience will be the biggest deciding factor, so make sure you fit in some work experience while getting at least a 2:1 if you want to be a competitive applicant for graduate jobs.
17. There will always be that one person in your presentation group who either does not show up or does little to no work.
18. University parties and events are almost sure to disappoint you if you have high expectations and raise your hopes up.

I will add more if I can think of more
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SuperHuman98
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(Original post by Leviathan1741)
You probably won't make friends in halls

I say this based on the fact that I stayed in halls for the first two years of my degree and didn't make friends with anyone I lived with, despite being friendly and trying to engage with them. It seems like most of my friends had a similar experience.

I made the mistake of thinking I'd make at least one friend in halls, but in reality I don't think anyone in my flats actually became even remotely friendly with each other, we rarely saw each other in fact
Could you tell me more about your experience in halls as a 2nd year? Sometimes I think i should just go to halls for 2nd and 3rd year because ill be super close to the library and societies meetings and fitness etc.
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SuperHuman98
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(Original post by shameful_burrito)
I agree with this. I made most my friends in my courses rather than in the accomodation.

Any other harsh realities...I don’t really know. You’ll have plenty of “free time” aka not in lectures, tutorials, etc but you’ll still have to work hard during it as the volume of the content can be quite high (it also does depend on the course I suppose)

If you’ve never lived alone from home that can also be quite tough. Adjusting to living alone and being independant. It varies from person to person though
In terms of working I was thinking of treating uni like a 9-5 job in terms of independent study after Freshers Week
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CoolCavy
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The entire thing is like an overpriced lonely boarding school
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SarcAndSpark
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(Original post by SuperHuman98)
Could you tell me more about your experience in halls as a 2nd year? Sometimes I think i should just go to halls for 2nd and 3rd year because ill be super close to the library and societies meetings and fitness etc.
Unfortunately, a lot of city unis won't allow this as they have such limited space available in halls.

Living in a shared house has lots of advantages over halls imo, and for most students it's a good experience- or at least a rite of passage!
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SuperHuman98
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(Original post by SarcAndSpark)
Unfortunately, a lot of city unis won't allow this as they have such limited space available in halls.

Living in a shared house has lots of advantages over halls imo, and for most students it's a good experience- or at least a rite of passage!
My uni is a campus one that allows it if you apply early enough.

Tbh I think ill probs do halls then house share 2nd year and then maybe halls 3rd year
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SuperHuman98
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(Original post by Michiyo)
Moved to University life.

1. You will most likely not become best friends with your flatmates. In fact, you are probably more likely to hate them than be friends with them, at least from my experience.
2. You will not have fun all the time. Chances are you will spend more time complaining about your reading and assignments than having fun.
3. There is a decent chance you will not make many friends. I myself only made like one true friend and have not spoken to the others in months, even if they were 'friends' while at university.
4. Do not expect to get any cool internship or placement lest you have a huge amount of work experience.
5. Going to university does not mean you will instantly make friends, have fun, go to parties, get drunk, and so forth. Yes, you are more likely to do these things, but if you want such things, you have to seek them and work for them.
6. Do not think you can go through university with no work experience from a part-time job, internship or volunteering and then get an amazing job as a graduate. Get a job even if you do not need the money since working is unlikely to affect your grades (look at all those people with Firsts who worked during university!) and any work experience is better than no experience.
7. Reading will be the bane of your life. This goes double because you (OP) study history and most history reading is a string of extremely detailed examples that no one remembers or cares about.
8. There are so many students who are addicted to illicit substances that you should always be careful so as not to get involved with the wrong crowd.
9. For humanities and social science students: your average will never be higher than 75% (or 80% if you are a genius), even if everything you wrote was perfect and worth 100%, because teachers do not give higher marks (there are extremely few exceptions to this).
10. You will almost definitely be annoyed by your flatmates at least a few times.
Tbh with #3 I am not too fussed if I don't make any friends. Joined different schools for sixth form twice, so im kinda used to the struggles of making friends. End of the day education comes first.

#7 I have already learnt to like reading

#8 is something I definitely want to avoid. One of my mates was talking to me as if it is something that inevitably happens, **** that the furthest I would go is alcohol and even then only on occasions
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SarcAndSpark
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(Original post by SuperHuman98)
My uni is a campus one that allows it if you apply early enough.

Tbh I think ill probs do halls then house share 2nd year and then maybe halls 3rd year
I wouldn't worry about making decisions like that when you haven't even really started first year! It's good to have the option of staying in halls as a back up though
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Miss Maddie
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There will be people you dislike, to insult you, bully you, play with your emotions and offend you. There is nothing you can do - there's not teacher to go running to get them told off.
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VMD100
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This is no means directed at you just general uni advice, but a lot of people go to uni having being mollycoddled by their parents that they're the only thing that matters, they did oh so well in their exams and they should be so happy and pleased with their grades. Welcome to the real world, nobody on your course cares what you got or did at A level. You're now equal to both the lowest and highest ability on your course until subsequent examinations make a difference to that.
So basically don't attempt to impress people and you'll be fine
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Michiyo
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(Original post by SuperHuman98)
Tbh with #3 I am not too fussed if I don't make any friends. Joined different schools for sixth form twice, so im kinda used to the struggles of making friends. End of the day education comes first.

#7 I have already learnt to like reading

#8 is something I definitely want to avoid. One of my mates was talking to me as if it is something that inevitably happens, **** that the furthest I would go is alcohol and even then only on occasions
Aww :console: If it helps, I attended 4 schools from year 10 to year 13, so I know how you feel :hugs:

I love reading too. Hell, my secondary forum as a CA is Books, comics and literature and I have finished 32 books this year. But trust me, university reading is something else. It is easily the most boring and unpleasant reading ever in general. Even I find it hard to sit down and do the reading for university, even though I have literally spent two weeks of my life reading all day in order to finish a book a day once. :erm:

Do not listen to your friend. I myself have never touched illegal substances and do not plan to. It is not an inevitable part of university life; it is a choice.
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SuperHuman98
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(Original post by VMD100)
This is no means directed at you just general uni advice, but a lot of people go to uni having being mollycoddled by their parents that they're the only thing that matters, they did oh so well in their exams and they should be so happy and pleased with their grades. Welcome to the real world, nobody on your course cares what you got or did at A level. You're now equal to both the lowest and highest ability on your course until subsequent examinations make a difference to that.
So basically don't attempt to impress people and you'll be fine
Thanks I understand what you are saying, tbh I think I had that mindset in sixth form and I have definitely grown out of it. Im trying not to even care about what ability other people are and definitely going to try avoid comparing myself to others.
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username2569523
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(Original post by Miss Maddie)
There will be people you dislike, to insult you, bully you, play with your emotions and offend you. There is nothing you can do - there's not teacher to go running to get them told off.
That sounds more like high school tbh. But guess it varies from uni to uni, I haven’t had any bad experiences at uni. Although I’m only in second year so yeah
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Angry Bird
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unless you're studying STEM uni is just a scam
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Leviathan1741
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(Original post by SuperHuman98)
Could you tell me more about your experience in halls as a 2nd year? Sometimes I think i should just go to halls for 2nd and 3rd year because ill be super close to the library and societies meetings and fitness etc.
It wasn't much different to my experience in first year honestly. Admittedly I did make much less of an effort to make friends with my flatmates in second year, since it became obvious quite quickly that they weren't very interested in being friendly, with me or each other. There were two other second year students in my second year flat, along with a third year and a fourth year student. We didn't dislike each other as such (though there was one whom I didn't like), we more or less just coexisted and were civil if we saw each other in the kitchen.

I chose to live in halls for second year because like you say, I was closer to the library and teaching facilities which was handy to help deal with the increased workload. In addition, I hadn't made any particularly close friends on my course with whom I could share a house, so it made sense to stay in halls again. I don't know whether living in a house would've been much better, but either way you only have to put up with your housemates/flatmates for a few months, after that you never have to deal with them again
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