I feel like I've been cheated here, have I? Watch

s817
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My mum has been asking me to give her £200 a month since I've been at uni and getting a maintenance loan but I feel like this is too much per month. My other sibling gets money from an apprenticeship and gives all her pay to our mum, I'm not sure how much she earns. My other sibling is about to start uni and will probably be made to pay the same as me. Is £200 a month right or am I and my siblings being cheated here?

[Live in uk btw and in a rented house where rent is less than £600 per month. I know there are other bills/taxes like gas, water and electric but is it really £200 per person a month? My mum is on housing benefit as well]
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GalGirl101
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Why is your mum asking you to give her money??? Is she in trouble financially???
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Conconz
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How much is your mum getting off all of you? Sounds like she's making quite a bit?
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s817
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(Original post by GalGirl101)
Why is your mum asking you to give her money??? Is she in trouble financially???
So we pay our share which she is saying is £200 a month per person. She doesn't work and is on benefits which don't pay much and all go towards food, rent and bills. She says if she had the money she wouldn't ask us for it but she hasn't. I just feel like £200 a month is too much when I get the lower maintenance loan.
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s817
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(Original post by Conconz)
How much is your mum getting off all of you? Sounds like she's making quite a bit?
I only know how much she gets from me, I don't know how much my other sibling gives her or how much the one about to start uni will give her.
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TheHairDyeDiarys
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I’m a bit confused about this situation, my parents didn’t do this but I know lots of parents start asking for rent once their child is working and living at home.

So I’m wondering do you live at home while attending uni? Or have you moved into halls or a student house and she’s wanting money from you?

In my opinion it’s wrong to expect money from your child, or if you do it should be reasonable,
My boyfriends parents wanted a lot of his wage when he lived at home, over half, but he didn’t use nearly that much water or electricity.

I know some parents keep the ‘rent’ As a deposit for when their child moves out, which is helpful. And some charge rent because they want their child to learn to manage their wage for when they are paying rent on a house.
And some just charge rent because they feel entitled to it or really want their child to help out with their usage charges. Which is reasonable if their using a lot.

Maybe it’s worth asking your mum WHY she is asking for £200 a month. If your in halls or a student house, wouldn’t you be paying rent anyway? So in that regard, £200 a month is quite cheap In terms of what people are actually paying for rent when they live alone, but ontop of already paying rent for your house, it’s confusing why she would want you to pay her if your not living their during term time and not using utilities?
But if you are at home it might be because your not paying rent and utilities.

Now I’m not saying I think it’s right,
A bit more info would be helpful for us and I expect for you yourself, are you able to ask your mum why or is the relationship Rocky?

I’m not sure if this is normal, but it wasn’t for me and I’ve not been aware of other people having to do this?
So maybe it is unusual. But you have to find out why she wants the money if you want to stop paying it.

I hope this helps a bit ☺️
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Johnathan94
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Sounds to me that you're likely bankrolling your mother.
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YaliaV
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If you aren't living with her then that's too much. Why can't she get a job? Your children shouldn't be used as a source of income.
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GalGirl101
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(Original post by s817)
So we pay our share which she is saying is £200 a month per person. She doesn't work and is on benefits which don't pay much and all go towards food, rent and bills. She says if she had the money she wouldn't ask us for it but she hasn't. I just feel like £200 a month is too much when I get the lower maintenance loan.
Why do you need to pay your share??? Are you living at home for uni or are you living out?
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s817
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(Original post by TheHairDyeDiarys)
I’m a bit confused about this situation, my parents didn’t do this but I know lots of parents start asking for rent once their child is working and living at home.

So I’m wondering do you live at home while attending uni? Or have you moved into halls or a student house and she’s wanting money from you?

In my opinion it’s wrong to expect money from your child, or if you do it should be reasonable,
My boyfriends parents wanted a lot of his wage when he lived at home, over half, but he didn’t use nearly that much water or electricity.

I know some parents keep the ‘rent’ As a deposit for when their child moves out, which is helpful. And some charge rent because they want their child to learn to manage their wage for when they are paying rent on a house.
And some just charge rent because they feel entitled to it or really want their child to help out with their usage charges. Which is reasonable if their using a lot.

Maybe it’s worth asking your mum WHY she is asking for £200 a month. If your in halls or a student house, wouldn’t you be paying rent anyway? So in that regard, £200 a month is quite cheap In terms of what people are actually paying for rent when they live alone, but ontop of already paying rent for your house, it’s confusing why she would want you to pay her if your not living their during term time and not using utilities?
But if you are at home it might be because your not paying rent and utilities.

Now I’m not saying I think it’s right,
A bit more info would be helpful for us and I expect for you yourself, are you able to ask your mum why or is the relationship Rocky?

I’m not sure if this is normal, but it wasn’t for me and I’ve not been aware of other people having to do this?
So maybe it is unusual. But you have to find out why she wants the money if you want to stop paying it.

I hope this helps a bit ☺️
I'm living at home. We have to pay our way that's why she's asking for this money. She says its £200 a month per person for rent, gas, electric and any other bills. If that's true then it would be £800 a month for the 4 of us.
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s817
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(Original post by GalGirl101)
Why do you need to pay your share??? Are you living at home for uni or are you living out?
Im living at home
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nfhc
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I think the answer will depend on how much of a struggle things are financially for your family.

If you are living at home, eating your mum’s food and using the utilities then it would be very strange for you to have lots of spare cash while your mum is struggling to keep a roof over your head and food on the table. So everyone in the household should be sharing the burden.

But, similarly your mum shouldn’t be living high off your hardship.
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GalGirl101
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(Original post by s817)
Im living at home
Ah okay yeah I've heard of some parents asking their kids for rent and all so that's what your mum may be doing. Whether its high or low I don't know. Maybe you need to ask your siblings what's they're paying
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s817
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(Original post by YaliaV)
If you aren't living with her then that's too much. Why can't she get a job? Your children shouldn't be used as a source of income.
She's been trying to get a job for years but hasn't been successful. It's difficult for her because she's never worked before and at her age looking for her first job. She also has an illness, she shouldn't really be working. I know her, she's too weak to be working but doctors have declared her fit for work so she must because no one has a job. Me and my siblings are still in our education and mum doesn't want us working, she wants us to do well and just concentrate on our education before even thinking about getting a job. I wouldn't get a job anyway because I'm always busy with uni work I have no time and if I did then they would cut my mums benefits because they will assume I'm earning enough to support the whole family which won't be the case.
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RogerOxon
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(Original post by s817)
My mum has been asking me to give her £200 a month since I've been at uni and getting a maintenance loan but I feel like this is too much per month. My other sibling gets money from an apprenticeship and gives all her pay to our mum, I'm not sure how much she earns. My other sibling is about to start uni and will probably be made to pay the same as me. Is £200 a month right or am I and my siblings being cheated here?

[Live in uk btw and in a rented house where rent is less than £600 per month. I know there are other bills/taxes like gas, water and electric but is it really £200 per person a month? My mum is on housing benefit as well]
It's a bargain, but it depends on how much money you get too.
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YaliaV
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(Original post by s817)
She's been trying to get a job for years but hasn't been successful. It's difficult for her because she's never worked before and at her age looking for her first job. She also has an illness, she shouldn't really be working. I know her, she's too weak to be working but doctors have declared her fit for work so she must because no one has a job. Me and my siblings are still in our education and mum doesn't want us working, she wants us to do well and just concentrate on our education before even thinking about getting a job. I wouldn't get a job anyway because I'm always busy with uni work I have no time and if I did then they would cut my mums benefits because they will assume I'm earning enough to support the whole family which won't be the case.
You're living at home, so I don't think it's too much. You would be paying a lot more for uni/private accommodation and she probably does your laundry and cooking etc.
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TheHairDyeDiarys
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(Original post by GalGirl101)
Ah okay yeah I've heard of some parents
asking their kids for rent and all so that's what your mum may be doing. Whether its high or low I don't know. Maybe you need to ask your siblings what's they're paying
Their siblings are all paying £200 as well.

i think it’s a bit high, but £50 a week doesn’t sound too bad. Which works out the same,
i think the issue is more that you doesn’t have a lot of spare cash,
Maybe you need to tell your mum that just because you get a loan doesn’t mean you have lots of spare cash and £200 is a bit much for you right now.
find out if you can lower the amount.
because it seems like she’s not willing to drop it completely.

i feel for you here because I wouldn’t want to be paying it either. But obvious she’s your mum and your living in her house. 😕
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vicvic38
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£200 per month isn't ridiculous, so long as you aren't having trouble paying for your course essentials, like books and getting to and from uni. I've known people to pay £50 per week in rent to their parents, because they get room and board.

If you are getting food out of this deal as well, I'd say you are cheating her tbh.
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Johnathan94
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(Original post by s817)
Im living at home
Individually, you're doing pretty well - you'd be paying twice that and then some if you lived on your own.

However, because she's taking in that £200 for what... 4 of you said?
That, plus her benefits is going to be quite the little sum of money.

It's a complicated situation - personally, I wouldn't even think about confronting her on it. That's not going to fly at all, especially because this is the deal she has with all of the other kids. If you don't like it and feel a bit cheated (not totally unreasonable) then just move out and pretend it had nothing to do with the rent situation.
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nfhc
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I’m guessing your student loan is less living at home than it would be if you had to move away for uni?
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