The Student Room Group

What’s wrong with me?

The title isn’t meant to be edgy or anything it’s just a genuine concern I have. I’ll attempt to keep it simple and short but I will provide more detail if anyone asks. So since last year I’ve lost literally all motivation in everything, school, intrests, friends and I’ve started to detach myself from them. I’m not meaning to do this but I feel as if every day I’m in some sort of dream like state where I’m just watching everything. I slowly start forgetting and losing intrest in those things. Its like im numb, its the only way to describe it, I’ve lost feelings too along with my motivation. Empathy, grief and sadness are all gone, recently my grandfather passed away and I felt nothing, it really messed me up because I didn’t know what was wrong with me, its human nature to feel sad after a passing but I didn’t. I don’t know why but I felt nothing. Even before his passing I felt like that, an empty shell of my former self, So I started taking to extreme measures. Then I started drinking, and taking drugs because it all made me feel alive. I finally had something to live for. I all regret it now but that sudden rush of adrenaline, relaxation or happiness made me forget the emptiness. I’m trying everything, better diet, exercise and I have triple the amount of friends than I did before which should all help, but it didn’t. I’m sorry if this seems long or edgy but I really want answers.
Reply 1
Tbh, I think you should see your GP as it's (obviously) having a massive effect on you. No one here can diagnose you though. Having said that I feel similar to you and I have a range of MH diagnoses.

RE: your experience of grief: everybody experiences grief differently and every loss is experienced differently, not everyone cries not everyone feels sadness. People don't have to cry to be upset at a situation. I've lost four friends and I felt grief differently each time.
Reply 2
Hi, it sounds like you are searching for more in life and haven’t found it. Life can be rough, and being numb is sometimes way harder than feeling something, even if what you feel is sorrow. I’m sorry that you are going through this. I have gone through times in my life when I felt numb. And I tried to escape reality through binge-watching Netflix…which only made things worse…any addiction is, at best, a temporary band-aid on a gaping wound. I found that when I tried to run away from reality things got worse. I think that a lot of times people feel this way when they don’t feel there is meaning and purpose in life. Do you feel like you understand your purpose? Do you feel valuable as a human being?I know for me when I felt completely numb it was because I was unemployed and I placed my identity as a human being on what I did…but I have come to find my worth apart from what I do.I don’t pretend to be a psychologist, though I have a little experience with mental health, you may be dealing with depression or something similar. I do know of some great free resources for that if you are interested. I would also be happy to tell you more about where I found my purpose if you want to know.

Quick Reply