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I'm a recovered anorexic. Ask me anything!

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My best friend from school had an eating disorder. I was afraid it would get out of control when we stopped talking. I hope she is doing fine now.
Is recovery truly possible? Or are the numbers, the voice, the guilt always still there but you learn to push it down and build yourself up despite it? It feels like it'll always be a shadow....
Original post by mysticalfluffy
Spanish, Italian, French and basic Korean and Russian. I'd love to speak them better. I think Russian literature, much like French, suits me well. It's very introspective and neurotic :P


That's so amazing, ha. I'm jealous because of how many languages you know. :lol:

Anyway, well done, seriously, mad respect to you for recovering. Maybe I'll kick my AN soon, who knows. :dontknow: Good to know recovery can and does happen. :h:
Original post by Kathy89
My best friend from school had an eating disorder. I was afraid it would get out of control when we stopped talking. I hope she is doing fine now.


Reach out to her. I often read online advice to people with anorexia that says: “don’t talk with sufferers about their illness.” I think it helps to talk though, at least in my case (everyone is different). I’ve never been so alone as I was when I had anorexia.
Original post by Pathway
That's so amazing, ha. I'm jealous because of how many languages you know. :lol:

Anyway, well done, seriously, mad respect to you for recovering. Maybe I'll kick my AN soon, who knows. :dontknow: Good to know recovery can and does happen. :h:


You can do it! I don't even know you, but I have faith in you. You want this.
Original post by mysticalfluffy
Reach out to her. I often read online advice to people with anorexia that says: “don’t talk with sufferers about their illness.” I think it helps to talk though, at least in my case (everyone is different). I’ve never been so alone as I was when I had anorexia.

I tried to find her for years. We just stopped talking, we had a lot of minor fight the last year of school, then we lost contact when we were in the army (it is obligatory in Israel even for girls).
Original post by mysticalfluffy
Spanish, Italian, French and basic Korean and Russian. I'd love to speak them better. I think Russian literature, much like French, suits me well. It's very introspective and neurotic :P

Do you write in Russian?
I speak Russian (native). I can help you. :smile:
Original post by Natalia1221
Is recovery truly possible? Or are the numbers, the voice, the guilt always still there but you learn to push it down and build yourself up despite it? It feels like it'll always be a shadow....


The numbers are no longer there for me. I’m starting to forget (slowly) what calories food contains. I used to know intuitively without checking.

True recovery is possible, yes. Once you get yourself to a great place, you never want to go back to that nightmare. At the same time, conversely, I think if my life got turned around (if my husband were to leave me for whatever reason, which doesn’t seem likely, if I were to have some devastating career news), I’d be susceptible to a relapse. It just wouldn’t be the same anymore though. I think I’d be more in control. It would be more measured. The problem is, if you fall back into that hole, it’s difficult to get out again (more so if you’ve been there for a long time). Not eating is an addiction!

I now eat intuitively. I am not as sensitive I’ve trained myself not to be. I work in a field that’s very competitive and I am for at least 100 rejections a year. To begin with this was devastating, I’d cry in the same way I would when people told me I was “looking good/healthy.” I’m becoming more resilient. I now hear “healthy” for what it really means.

I exercise not with the objective of losing weight. I do it because it’s cathartic. Because it feels good.

Life is no longer a numbers game and I live in a degree of organised chaos. I’ve learnt to like it.

For a long time, it felt like I’d never get myself out of that headspace. It felt like it had become a part of my identity, which it had. But I had to build for myself a new identity, while rediscovering the bits of my old one that still seemed to fit.
Are there any foods or drinks that you actively avoid seeing/smelling?

I have a work colleague that can't stand can't stand baked beans and a former housemate who recovered from bulimia starts crying when she smells melted cheese.
Original post by londonmyst
Are there any foods or drinks that you actively avoid seeing/smelling?

I have a work colleague that can't stand can't stand baked beans and a former housemate who recovered from bulimia starts crying when she smells melted cheese.


No. Apart from meat because when you never eat meat in your life, it looks and smells inedible--in fact it looks like something no one could possibly crave.

I try to avoid hydrogenated fat because I think they're pretty unhealthy. I don't like the taste of eggs but will eat them when they're an ingredient. I hate liquorice! I think these things are quite normal though.
Original post by Kathy89
Do you write in Russian?
I speak Russian (native). I can help you. :smile:



Thanks! May take you up on that at some point. I can write in Russian. I don’t have a very good vocabulary though yet… I got by when travelling through Central Asia though think I could do with a long period of time in Russia to use the language. Where are you from?
Original post by mysticalfluffy
Thanks! May take you up on that at some point. I can write in Russian. I don’t have a very good vocabulary though yet… I got by when travelling through Central Asia though think I could do with a long period of time in Russia to use the language. Where are you from?

I was born in Ukraine. Now I live in Israel.
I have a friend right now who we suspect is suffering from anorexia; we're all very worried. So I'd like to ask two things:
1) Are there any very obvious signs that could confirm whether it is anorexia or not?
2) Are there any ways we could help her? She gets very defensive when we ask her about her eating habits and doesn't seem too much like she'd want help, but we're worried about her weight and lack of eating.
Original post by mysticalfluffy
No. Apart from meat because when you never eat meat in your life, it looks and smells inedible--in fact it looks like something no one could possibly crave.

I try to avoid hydrogenated fat because I think they're pretty unhealthy. I don't like the taste of eggs but will eat them when they're an ingredient. I hate liquorice! I think these things are quite normal though.


I'm not keen on eggs myself, I've had salmonella and won't ever eat anything containing raw egg again.
I go with VeganEgg, avocado or apple puree when I'm cooking for vegan/strict hindu friends.
Original post by Lunei
I have a friend right now who we suspect is suffering from anorexia; we're all very worried. So I'd like to ask two things:
1) Are there any very obvious signs that could confirm whether it is anorexia or not?
2) Are there any ways we could help her? She gets very defensive when we ask her about her eating habits and doesn't seem too much like she'd want help, but we're worried about her weight and lack of eating.

Is she comfortable eating with others? Does she eat alone? Really be on the look out for sneakiness, withdrawal and an obsession with food. If you’re struggling, it becomes something you often talk about or try to avoid talking about. I often used to cook for others. Smelling the food I felt satisfied and didn’t have to eat myself.

I’m not sure how much you can do at this point. If it’s early days, she likely won’t want to recover, and she’ll take any concern as “a desire to fatten her up,” “sabotage her weight loss/control,” “envy for her will power.”

But keep out for signs. Be there for her as she withdraws, don’t let her fully withdraw. Make eating a social activity, try to involve her in it. I would encourage yoga as an activity you could do together. Try and talk—if she is suffering she obviously has a lot on her mind that she wants to forget, but talking is cathartic. If it gets worse, do tell her family/alert your university. Warn people she knows to not make comments on her weight or appearance—she is more than her body. Don’t indulge the food obsession, don’t make this about the food. Try to normalise eating as much as you can and not make her feel weird.
Original post by mysticalfluffy
Is she comfortable eating with others? Does she eat alone? Really be on the look out for sneakiness, withdrawal and an obsession with food. If you’re struggling, it becomes something you often talk about or try to avoid talking about. I often used to cook for others. Smelling the food I felt satisfied and didn’t have to eat myself.

I’m not sure how much you can do at this point. If it’s early days, she likely won’t want to recover, and she’ll take any concern as “a desire to fatten her up,” “sabotage her weight loss/control,” “envy for her will power.”

But keep out for signs. Be there for her as she withdraws, don’t let her fully withdraw. Make eating a social activity, try to involve her in it. I would encourage yoga as an activity you could do together. Try and talk—if she is suffering she obviously has a lot on her mind that she wants to forget, but talking is cathartic. If it gets worse, do tell her family/alert your university. Warn people she knows to not make comments on her weight or appearance—she is more than her body. Don’t indulge the food obsession, don’t make this about the food. Try to normalise eating as much as you can and not make her feel weird.

Not sure what happened with the font/letter size there....
(Original post by mysticalfluffy)






Mm, she does do a lot of those things, is very withdrawn a lot and talks about her weight a lot. We try to encourage her that her weight is fine, and I've even gotten her to eat by casually sharing snacks sometimes. But there's a few things there I hadn't thought of, like the trying to normalise eating thing. Thank you for your advice, I'll try to be a bit more careful with her now.

And congratulations to you for beating it though ^^

Actually, as I'm typing, I remember her once saying that it's also a way of feeling in control of something about her life when a lot of it feels like chaos right now. Is this something that you could relate to at all? I realise it's a case-by-case thing but...
Original post by Lunei
(Original post by mysticalfluffy)






Mm, she does do a lot of those things, is very withdrawn a lot and talks about her weight a lot. We try to encourage her that her weight is fine, and I've even gotten her to eat by casually sharing snacks sometimes. But there's a few things there I hadn't thought of, like the trying to normalise eating thing. Thank you for your advice, I'll try to be a bit more careful with her now.

And congratulations to you for beating it though ^^

Actually, as I'm typing, I remember her once saying that it's also a way of feeling in control of something about her life when a lot of it feels like chaos right now. Is this something that you could relate to at all? I realise it's a case-by-case thing but...

Absolutely. It’s about control. A lot in life is out of our control. Relationships, work, sometimes studies, sensitivity, emotions. It gives some kind of order, but she’ll soon learn she is out of control.

Don’t be too encouraged by her eating a candy bar. I would do that, and sometimes it’s be the only thing I ate in a day. And things like soup can look deceivingly nutritious, when really they don’t have many calories. Just keep an eye on her, don’t make her eat but yes normalise eating. Don’t watch her when she eats anymore than you’d watch someone else, or you’ll make her paranoid. It’s so complicated and people are so sensitive when they’re starving themselves. It’s good that you’re being a caring friend, I hope she manages to slow down before she gets too far in. She’ll appreciate that you stuck around for her even when she seemed like she wanted to push everyone else away <3
Original post by mysticalfluffy
I'm in my late 20s. I suffered from severe anorexia and was very underweight for over 5 years in my late teens, I still struggled with disordered eating and thinking for another 4 years or so. I've had a few minor relapses (the last of which, I was very aware of).

Now I'm happy, have a good job and I'm married. I'm generally optimistic about the future.


Do you get upset when people make jokes about eating disorders?
How are you at the moment?

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