This discussion is closed.
remybrunel
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Ok so I got to look at my UCAS references from my teachers and tbh I’m a little disappointed. I’m applying for medicine this year so everything needs to be as good as possible for me. Almost all my teachers have put the same thing; she is too quiet. Without trying to seem big headed I try really hard to get straight A & A* grades and I feel like they’ve just undermined my hard work. I mean I know that I’m a quiet person in the class especially if I don’t have close friends within the class but I do contribute to class discussions.. it’s just that I’m not one of the bigger personalities in the class. I feel a bit upset because me being quiet has never had an effect on my grades; I do the same if not better than the louder people so why do my teachers feel it’s a bad thing to be. I’ve always been more of a reserved person and seeing ‘she is a quiet member of the class who needs encouragement to speak’ makes me question myself...besides I’m not a child why the hell would I need motivation to speak ?? Omg I’m just so pissed off.. does anyone else find themselves facing the same issue??
1
icygrl
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
wow are you me this has been my teachers, parents, family, strangers COMMENTS EVERY TIME!! they always say I'm too quiet but I really am not once you get to know me. I am the loudest, most chatty bubbliest person ever once I become friends with someone and they get to know me and we vibe like I can talk for hours with my best friend who I've known for a few years. i used to be so shy from 10-16 but now I'm one of the loudest people ever when I'm with people I like/who are my friends and i can never stop talking haha.

I think you need to try and persuade them to see your view and perspective on this and also learn to maybe come out of your shell a little? i know it's hard and trust ME i have been there and worse and I've learnt to deal with my anxiety and stop worrying about other people's opinions of me and just live my life because life's too short, you know? just be yourself, join some clubs, do some extra-curricular activities, go to the gym, take a dance class, go swimming, order your own food when out, ask to go out to the cinema with a friend, go to a party, throw a party, make your own phone call appointments etc do stuff ot CHALLENGE your shyness/quietness/anxiety!

trust me, the first step is always the hardest but the thought of it is much worse than the actual thing - like injections, exams, etc
Pm me if you ever nee dhelp!
0
gjd800
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
If all of them are saying the same thing then it is likely more noticable than you yourself think it is. I suppose at interviews etc you might just say you are aware that you can sometimes be too quiet and are working on it. Needn't be a huge deal.
0
ScienceOfLife
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#4
Report 2 years ago
#4
I understand what you're saying, I always used to get teachers saying the same thing. It's a shame your teachers have undermined you by writing that in your UCAS references. I can only recommend to keep doing what you're doing if it makes you comfortable, one day you'll prove them wrong for doubting your capabilities.

On a side note, in my experiences teachers (at GCSE - A-level level) seem to overlook factors such as anxiety quite often
2
remybrunel
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#5
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#5
(Original post by kiki213)
wow are you me this has been my teachers, parents, family, strangers COMMENTS EVERY TIME!! they always say I'm too quiet but I really am not once you get to know me. I am the loudest, most chatty bubbliest person ever once I become friends with someone and they get to know me and we vibe like I can talk for hours with my best friend who I've known for a few years. i used to be so shy from 10-16 but now I'm one of the loudest people ever when I'm with people I like/who are my friends and i can never stop talking haha.

I think you need to try and persuade them to see your view and perspective on this and also learn to maybe come out of your shell a little? i know it's hard and trust ME i have been there and worse and I've learnt to deal with my anxiety and stop worrying about other people's opinions of me and just live my life because life's too short, you know? just be yourself, join some clubs, do some extra-curricular activities, go to the gym, take a dance class, go swimming, order your own food when out, ask to go out to the cinema with a friend, go to a party, throw a party, make your own phone call appointments etc do stuff ot CHALLENGE your shyness/quietness/anxiety!

trust me, the first step is always the hardest but the thought of it is much worse than the actual thing - like injections, exams, etc
Pm me if you ever nee dhelp!
Oh thanks so much. I know I am more on the shy side but I have never let it affect my performance in class or even out of class (yes I do already take several extracurriculars). I guess coming out of my shell a bit won’t do any harm haha x
2
remybrunel
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#6
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#6
(Original post by gjd800)
If all of them are saying the same thing then it is likely more noticable than you yourself think it is. I suppose at interviews etc you might just say you are aware that you can sometimes be too quiet and are working on it. Needn't be a huge deal.
That’s the thing though.. I’m not abnormally quiet. It’s just the ppl in my class are abnormally loud so in comparison I probably look like a little mouse haha. I have no problem contributing in class; what I don’t find fair is that my teachers expect me to have a loud and extroverted personality just because the others in my class do :/
0
username3434964
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#7
Report 2 years ago
#7
Well, according to every teacher at every parents evening I have ever had - being quiet is a bad thing.

But seriously if you're just quiet in comparison and are fine contributing etc then I don't see why they think it's a problem?
1
icygrl
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#8
Report 2 years ago
#8
(Original post by remybrunel)
Oh thanks so much. I know I am more on the shy side but I have never let it affect my performance in class or even out of class (yes I do already take several extracurriculars). I guess coming out of my shell a bit won’t do any harm haha x
yeah, just like
  • go for a walk in the park by yourself or with a friend.
  • go for a jog or a run in the morning on weekends.
  • if you have a dog walk your dog or offer to walk the neighbour's or your friend's or family member's dog.
  • go to a spa or salon and treat yourself!
  • go shopping by yourself, with friends or family.
  • go to mcdonalds, whichever foody place you like
  • go bowling
  • get your nails done
  • get your hair done
  • take a cooking class
  • take a glass blowing class or art or painting class
  • go thrifting/to a thrift store
  • go donate blood or clothes, old toys and books etc or sell some stuff for money for uni
  • take some driving lessons if u need/want to drive
  • go to a party or a club! or a bar! with your friends not by yourself haha
  • go pick up some dry cleaned clothes for ur mum or grandmother haha
  • learn to sew
  • learn a new hobby?

basically make a list like a summer bucketlist but title it "how to be less shy" or "how to be more confident/extroverted/improve my confidence & self-esteem" instead and google and find as many different ways to improve your shyness! try to do this all in maybe 3-6 months or however you fast u like

Good luck!
0
remybrunel
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#9
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#9
(Original post by ScienceOfLife)
I understand what you're saying, I always used to get teachers saying the same thing. It's a shame your teachers have undermined you by writing that in your UCAS references. I can only recommend to keep doing what you're doing if it makes you comfortable, one day you'll prove them wrong for doubting your capabilities.

On a side note, in my experiences teachers (at GCSE - A-level level) seem to overlook factors such as anxiety quite often
Haha thanks I guess that’s what I’ll have to do. I don’t like to self diagnose so I wouldn’t say I have anxiety it’s just I’m not the type of person to talk in class when there’s no reason to; obviously I’ll talk to contribute in class but when I don’t need to talk I won’t but for some reason my teachers want me to...?
0
remybrunel
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#10
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#10
(Original post by Bill Nye)
Well, according to every teacher at every parents evening I have ever had - being quiet is a bad thing.

But seriously if you're just quiet in comparison and are fine contributing etc then I don't see why they think it's a problem?
EXACTLY MY POINT. I think we just live in a society where ppl believe it’s better to be outgoing and extroverted ;( when being quiet does not define anything else about a person
0
londonmyst
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#11
Report 2 years ago
#11
Teachers said this about me too, on my references and every parents evening when I was at school.

It's not always interpreted negatively by uni admissions though.
I got several offers without an interview and an exemption from foreign language entry requirements.
At one interview, an interviewer greeted me with "welcome, do come in.. nice quiet girl, I've had dozens of noisy jerks this week".
A few of the rejected loud people turned out to be classmates with stronger communication skills and more extra curricular activities than me.

Don't take it to heart.
A doctor who listens was once a medical student that knew how to listen quietly in the classroom and when doing f2 hospital rounds.
1
gjd800
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#12
Report 2 years ago
#12
I'd not worry unduly. I am relatively quiet and it hasn't held me back at all.
0
Bio 7
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#13
Report 2 years ago
#13
I kept getting that in reports as well which was always annoying. What about talking in class is important? Talking in a discussion is not really important, you can learn better when not made to work in a way you don’t agree with.
0
londonmyst
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#14
Report 2 years ago
#14
I'd rather have a quiet doctor who listens to my symptoms, other things I've said and makes accurate notes.
I've met the incessant braggers, latin experts that won't do english translations and loud mouth anti-vax brigade of consultants.
Whole lot are a vocal liability to the NHS.

(Original post by Zomatograph)
Who the **** wants a quiet mouse doctor? Pick a different career, like a funeral director
0
Humble Ahm
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#15
Report 2 years ago
#15
I personally like quiet people, maybe because I myself am a quiet person. But since society now sees talkative and loud person as smart and confident, quietness is seen as a negative.
0
usycool1
  • Study Helper
Badges: 19
#16
Report 2 years ago
#16
I'm very quiet in general around people I don't know and am also very quiet in teaching sessions at Medical School. I do appreciate the frustration though of how different people end up thinking I'm not interested in what's happening when in reality, I just prefer to only speak when I feel like I have something good to say rather than to speak for the sake of speaking. On the other hand, I'm still very happy to talk to patients though and have never struggled with that or any clinical communication tasks we've had to do - it's quite a different thing, I feel. I don't think it's a bad thing but I'm biased.

If you're not happy with your reference - ask your teachers if they can change it?
0
remybrunel
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#17
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#17
(Original post by londonmyst)
Teachers said this about me too, on my references and every parents evening when I was at school.

It's not always interpreted negatively by uni admissions though.
I got several offers without an interview and an exemption from foreign language entry requirements.
At one interview, an interviewer greeted me with "welcome, do come in.. nice quiet girl, I've had dozens of noisy jerks this week".
A few of the rejected loud people turned out to be classmates with stronger communication skills and more extra curricular activities than me.

Don't take it to heart.
A doctor who listens was once a medical student that knew how to listen quietly in the classroom and when doing f2 hospital rounds.
Oh wow this makes me feel so much better haha i know I want to do medicine & teachers views on my personality isn’t going to stop me )
1
remybrunel
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#18
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#18
(Original post by Zomatograph)
Who the **** wants a quiet mouse doctor? Pick a different career, like a funeral director
As I said before, I am not quiet all the time.. just in class when I see there is no reason for me to speak. Of course if I get into med school I will interact with patients and fellow students; I have no problem with that. I’m just saying teachers expect me to speak all the time in class and have this loud personality which simply isn’t me. I’m not going to pretend I’m something I’m not... besides I think being a good listener and knowing when it’s appropriately speak are qualities a doctor should have
0
AppleB
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#19
Report 2 years ago
#19
I worked with a quiet F1 doctor. He would talk to patients and listen well. I quite liked being around him as he had a comforting presence. He would talk when spoken to.

There's nothing wrong with being quiet. Its a strength and means you're a good listener.
0
remybrunel
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#20
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#20
(Original post by Humble Ahm)
I personally like quiet people, maybe because I myself am a quiet person. But since society now sees talkative and loud person as smart and confident, quietness is seen as a negative.
Oh trust me ever since I was small ppl have been telling me to be more loud or be more like so and so. But being quiet doesn’t mean a persons grades are automatically poorer or their communication skills weaker. Being a good communicator requires both listening & speaking.
0
X
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Should there be a new university admissions system that ditches predicted grades?

No, I think predicted grades should still be used to make offers (658)
33.54%
Yes, I like the idea of applying to uni after I received my grades (PQA) (834)
42.51%
Yes, I like the idea of receiving offers only after I receive my grades (PQO) (381)
19.42%
I think there is a better option than the ones suggested (let us know in the thread!) (89)
4.54%

Watched Threads

View All