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I am a nice guy - please help me!
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Original post by Tom 2001
How could I change myself?
Dont. Never try to change who u are! Embrace it and you'll attract the right people
i am 21, soon to be 22. i finished uni, i am still a virgin, havent even kissed a girl yet. i am indian, so in my culture that is frowned upon pretty heavily, so i cant bring a girl home etc. however, i have stopped worrying about it, from what i have been seeing being in a relationship is a lot more effort than i am currently willing to put in. i am still applying to medical school, i am on a masters programme, still wanting to go to oxbridge. i feel like i have a lot on my plate right now. so if i find someone along the way, so be it. if not, i dont really care for the timebeing. i am likely to be pretty busy for the next 5 years or so anyways. and i want to sort out my own academic and financial situation before i try taking on a challenge like a relationship
Original post by Tom 2001
How could I change myself?
honestly i don't think you should need to, be yourself but try and meet different girls cause you're not hanging out with the right ones for you.
if you are a genuinely nice person then i have no idea why girls aren't into you
Original post by Tom 2001
Thank You! I am looking for a quite shy nice girl so I guess I will find her someday/
hey if you dont find her maybe she will find you!
Original post by Adele123456
Dont. Never try to change who u are! Embrace it and you'll attract the right people
Thank You! I am hoping to attract a quite nice girlfriend someday!
Original post by Adele123456
Dont. Never try to change who u are! Embrace it and you'll attract the right people
^^^ this!!!!!!!!!
Original post by stalkingsilence
^^^ this!!!!!!!!!
OK thanks!!
One of the most attractive qualities is simply 'self-confidence'. That's what being 'bad' is sometimes mistaken for...not the same at all. Agree with many of the previous comments - no sense in changing what is the 'essential you' - else, you won't end up with who you're actually meant to be with...
A
A
The best thing you can do is keep talking to people and pursuing your interests, and hopefully through this you will meet more like-minded people with similiar interests to you. Being nice is likely not going to be a deal breaker for most girls, although if you're nice to the point of being a "pushover" then that might be putting people off. Most likely other factors are at play such as your approach or the levels of physical attraction. Whilst it might just be the case that every girl you've approached isn't interested in you because you're nice there are most likely other reasons, even if that's not what they're telling you. It could for example be that the girls you're attracted to just aren't attracted to you, which naturally will happen to everyone, as not everyone is attracted to everyone.
In my experience though you have nice guys who are genuinely just nice, and then the "nice guys" who lack the self-awareness to truly understand why their approach isn't working and instead put down all of their romantic misfortune to them just being too nice and girls just wanting an abusive "lad" character who puts them down and doesn't respect them. These tend to act nice on the surface but when you dig a little deeper they really aren't. In either case it's best to consider other reasons besides just being nice.
In my experience though you have nice guys who are genuinely just nice, and then the "nice guys" who lack the self-awareness to truly understand why their approach isn't working and instead put down all of their romantic misfortune to them just being too nice and girls just wanting an abusive "lad" character who puts them down and doesn't respect them. These tend to act nice on the surface but when you dig a little deeper they really aren't. In either case it's best to consider other reasons besides just being nice.
Original post by cloud_9_
Number one rule man.......
NEVER BE A NICE GUY
NEVER BE A NICE GUY
What can I do if I am?
Original post by Mr Aitch
One of the most attractive qualities is simply 'self-confidence'. That's what being 'bad' is sometimes mistaken for...not the same at all. Agree with many of the previous comments - no sense in changing what is the 'essential you' - else, you won't end up with who you're actually meant to be with...
A
A
Well, I am actually working on building my self-confidence. Is that all I need when girls say they like the bad boy/lad types?
Original post by Tom 2001
What can I do if I am?
U shush.
Original post by cloud_9_
U shush.
What do you mean?
Original post by Tom 2001
What do you mean?
I mean u should just shush.
Mate stay the way u r! U'll hopefully find someone very nice don't change ur personality. If u stay the way u r, then ur honest and true personality will come out and u'll find someone based on that. Stay confident, stay positive and stay happy. Good luck to ya 🙂
Original post by cloud_9_
I mean u should just shush.
Shush? As in be quiet? Why?
Original post by Friend98765
Mate stay the way u r! U'll hopefully find someone very nice don't change ur personality. If u stay the way u r, then ur honest and true personality will come out and u'll find someone based on that. Stay confident, stay positive and stay happy. Good luck to ya 🙂
Thank You!
Real men are not nice guys. That is where you are going wrong.
Original post by Guardian dess
Real men are not nice guys. That is where you are going wrong.
Why not?
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