The Student Room Group

Long distance relationships? - how are you doing it?

As we suspected, myself and my significant other are going to different universities and are literally going to be world's apart.

How should/can I deal with being in a long distance relationship and DOES it REALLY WORK?

Any advice?

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Reply 1
I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. It will work if you want and make it work. Make sure you both keep in contact as much as possible (phone calls, FaceTimes, messages). Study together on FaceTime etc.
Reply 2
For my personal taste even 90 mins is too long of a distance for it to be manageable but I have a friend who calls and facetimes his gf everyday for hours and is just in constant contact and he seems to be managing just fine. He is in same situation as you but even in a different country
Reply 3
Original post by zars9777
I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. It will work if you want and make it work. Make sure you both keep in contact as much as possible (phone calls, FaceTimes, messages). Study together on FaceTime etc.


Aww thanks a lot! This means a lot and I will try to incorporate this however, I feel like I want him to grow and develop. We are ALWAYS on facetime to each other and I feel like giving him freedom from that but at the same time, I don't want to lose him either
When you say you're "literally going to be worlds apart", unless one of you is going to university on Mars, that isn't "literally" the case at all.

It might feel like a big deal, but I promise that if you want to make it work, it will work.

You can call and text, and video chat to an agreed schedule (but not too often as you don't want it to have a negative impact on your uni work or friendships) and you can take it in turns to spend the weekend at each other's accommodation. You probably shouldn't do it every weekend as you'll want to spend time with your uni friends and family at home too, so maybe see each other alternate weekends, and alternate visits between accommodation. Then of course you have holiday time, and you will find that there is a lot of holiday time at uni - particularly the summer, which can be between two and four months depending on where you go.

Honestly, if you both want it to work, it will. It might not be easy, but it can work. I had a boyfriend through my first year at uni though he wasn't a student. He visited me every week and I went to see him some weekends, and we ended up getting a flat together for my second year (which I regret hugely, as I wish I'd made more of the student experience tbh).
Reply 5
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
When you say you're "literally going to be worlds apart", unless one of you is going to university on Mars, that isn't "literally" the case at all.

It might feel like a big deal, but I promise that if you want to make it work, it will work.

You can call and text, and video chat to an agreed schedule (but not too often as you don't want it to have a negative impact on your uni work or friendships) and you can take it in turns to spend the weekend at each other's accommodation. You probably shouldn't do it every weekend as you'll want to spend time with your uni friends and family at home too, so maybe see each other alternate weekends, and alternate visits between accommodation. Then of course you have holiday time, and you will find that there is a lot of holiday time at uni - particularly the summer, which can be between two and four months depending on where you go.

Honestly, if you both want it to work, it will. It might not be easy, but it can work. I had a boyfriend through my first year at uni though he wasn't a student. He visited me every week and I went to see him some weekends, and we ended up getting a flat together for my second year (which I regret hugely, as I wish I'd made more of the student experience tbh).


I guess you are right! And, that's exactly what I'm worried about - I want him to have a uni experience but also be involved with me and my life - I'm sure we will still be together but I just don't know. Maybe, I am being very negative but I will definitely take your advice on board! Thanks!
Original post by mahoganny
I guess you are right! And, that's exactly what I'm worried about - I want him to have a uni experience but also be involved with me and my life - I'm sure we will still be together but I just don't know. Maybe, I am being very negative but I will definitely take your advice on board! Thanks!


It's definitely possible to get the balance right. Sometimes you need to let certain things take priority - like your uni work/friendships during term time, knowing that you can spend a lot of time with your boyfriend in the holidays. I found that as long as I touched base with my boyfriend in an evening, or in the morning, we were okay. We didn't have to talk loads every day, but we both knew when we would next see each other and we could look forward to that.

Always have a date planned, so you can keep that in your mind if you're missing each other.
Reply 7
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
It's definitely possible to get the balance right. Sometimes you need to let certain things take priority - like your uni work/friendships during term time, knowing that you can spend a lot of time with your boyfriend in the holidays. I found that as long as I touched base with my boyfriend in an evening, or in the morning, we were okay. We didn't have to talk loads every day, but we both knew when we would next see each other and we could look forward to that.

Always have a date planned, so you can keep that in your mind if you're missing each other.


Lol thats quite cute! I like this, THANKS SOO MUCH
Original post by mahoganny
As we suspected, myself and my significant other are going to different universities and are literally going to be world's apart.

How should/can I deal with being in a long distance relationship and DOES it REALLY WORK?

Any advice?


I've been in one for a year and a bit. It's tough but will work. We are thousands of miles apart and see each other no more than twice a year.

Video call and message whenever you can. Tell each other everything even the tiny details, even if they seem irrelevant like what cereal you had that morning. It matters.

Trust each other. Don't get suspicious over tiny things like if they take a bit too long to reply or whatever. You won't last without trust.
There's so many factors that go into it. It really comes down to how committed the two individuals are, the personality types (this includes many different things, how you interact online and in person, also how you express and like to receive love/affection) and your general chemistry.

A LDR can be a scary place sometimes, sometimes it feels like the bad outweighs the good, but when the two play it right- it can be great too.
(edited 5 years ago)
I want advice on this too lol. My girlfriend and I met on the first day of fresher's three years ago and now she has been forced to leave the UK. I know she will probably be back this time next year but she is 4,000 miles away and I am really scared.
Original post by mahoganny
As we suspected, myself and my significant other are going to different universities and are literally going to be world's apart.

How should/can I deal with being in a long distance relationship and DOES it REALLY WORK?

Any advice?

It depends how you guys holding up
I’ve been with my GF for only 3 months now, and we live 45 mins away (which some could consider long distance).

We both work full time, but for the time being things are going great, and we’re both putting effort into maintint it.

We see eachother every couple of weeks, sometimes even, like last week we saw eachother twice. She sent me a message two days after seeing eachother asking when we could meet again.

It depends on both parties and the effort each makes.
Original post by Occitanie
I’ve been with my GF for only 3 months now, and we live 45 mins away (which some could consider long distance).

We both work full time, but for the time being things are going great, and we’re both putting effort into maintint it.

We see eachother every couple of weeks, sometimes even, like last week we saw eachother twice. She sent me a message two days after seeing eachother asking when we could meet again.

It depends on both parties and the effort each makes.


LONG DISTANCE??? Since when is 45 minutes LD? Ffs, first world problems. My gf and I are 4,000 miles and an eight hour plane ride away. That is long distance.
LD relationship is a no go 👎
Original post by MrMusician95
LONG DISTANCE??? Since when is 45 minutes LD? Ffs, first world problems. My gf and I are 4,000 miles and an eight hour plane ride away. That is long distance.

Some people wouldn’t even consider what you have to be a relationship...
Original post by Occitanie
Some people wouldn’t even consider what you have to be a relationship...


So we met at uni, were together - at the same uni - for three years before she left, for a year? But we're not in a relationship? Lmao, okay mate.
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by MrMusician95
So we met at uni, were together - at the same uni - for three years before she left, for a year? But we're not in a relationship? Lmao, okay met.

You were in a relationship, now you’re merely pen pals who occasionally meet up.
Original post by Occitanie
You were in a relationship, now you’re merely pen pals who occasionally meet up.


Hahaha okay mate. You have been with your partner three months...chill :biggrin:
Original post by MrMusician95
Hahaha okay mate. You have been with your partner three months...chill :biggrin:

Am I’m enjoying every second the fact we don’t live 4000 miles apart

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