Beating trichotillomania once and for all!

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DrawTheLine
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#41
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#41
(Original post by laurawatt)
Also I always get super stressed in and around exam times, and that’s when I pick out the most hairs, so I would need to bring in a fidget thing (stress ball etc.) into my exams with me so that I don’t resort to picking out my hairs but this means telling someone at school (so I can get a student welfare appointment) but this means that they would tell my parents :o:o
I also can’t go to the doctors when I’m 16 because something would be put on my notes and I don’t have a good excuse to go somewhere :iiam: for an hour
But I would need a doctors note to be able to bring something into my exams, which all leads round to telling my parents, but I know they’ll be disappointed and meh :emo:

Sorry if you’ve read this, I just needed to get all my feelings out, even though they aren’t the most positive.
:hugs:
How come your parents would be disappointed? Is there no way of getting a note without them knowing? That really sucks
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laurawatt
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#42
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#42
(Original post by DrawTheLine)
How come your parents would be disappointed? Is there no way of getting a note without them knowing? That really sucks
Because my parents are fairly traditional, and so we have a formal-ish relationship (which does get annoying when I’m upset and just want a hug but get told ‘to stop being silly’ instead) and when we went to the doctors about 5 years ago because my hair was coming out I said that it was falling out instead of telling the truth because I didn’t want to disappoint them
:dontknow: I feel they would be disappointed that they brought up a child with a ‘problem’ and also that I lied to them about it...

i dont think there is a way, and I can’t talk to anyone (teachers etc.) at school about it because they would ring my parents and I would rather it came directly from me.
(My friend also has trich and went to a teacher about it as it was getting worse due to stress / pressure and although they set up some appointments with student welfare people for her, they also rang her parents (they already knew about her trich though so it wasn’t a shock for them).

sorry, word splurge happened
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zooxanthellae
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#43
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Heya I have dermatillomania too and it really does suck. Any tips on how to cope? Thank you so much for doing this blog - it's wonderful representation for bfrds! xx
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CoolCavy
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#44
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:hugs:
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laurawatt
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#45
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(Original post by zooxanthellae)
Heya I have dermatillomania too and it really does suck. Any tips on how to cope? Thank you so much for doing this blog - it's wonderful representation for bfrds! xx
Hello! Find something to distract yourself with, I find doodling helps, or even just rubbing my fingers and thumbs together so that I have something else to do putting moisturiser on wherever you pick your skin also helps for me, as I find I pick it less when I can’t see any skin coming loose.
Hope this helped
bfrds? Anyway, thank you for your support x
(Original post by CoolCavy)
:hugs:
:hugs:
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zooxanthellae
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#46
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Thank you so much for the advice - will definitely try the moisturiser one! sorry for the confusion - I meant BFRBs as in Body Focused Repetitive Behaviours (the umbrella term for these conditions) x
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Anonymous #3
#47
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#47
If you're religious ask God for guidance so that you may be healed. My thoughts are with you mate chin up and remember an idle mind in the devils workshop
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Pathway
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#48
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#48
(Original post by Anonymous)
If you're religious ask God for guidance so that you may be healed. My thoughts are with you mate chin up and remember an idle mind in the devils workshop
That's not how mental health issues work.

-----

laurawatt Sorry to hear you're feeling so frustrated. :console:
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Anonymous #3
#49
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#49
(Original post by Pathway)
That's not how mental health issues work.

-----

laurawatt Sorry to hear you're feeling so frustrated. :console:
Then what am I missing? I thought what I said was correct in regards to mental health. Correct me if I'm wrong mate
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DrawTheLine
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#50
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#50
(Original post by laurawatt)
Because my parents are fairly traditional, and so we have a formal-ish relationship (which does get annoying when I’m upset and just want a hug but get told ‘to stop being silly’ instead) and when we went to the doctors about 5 years ago because my hair was coming out I said that it was falling out instead of telling the truth because I didn’t want to disappoint them
:dontknow: I feel they would be disappointed that they brought up a child with a ‘problem’ and also that I lied to them about it...

i dont think there is a way, and I can’t talk to anyone (teachers etc.) at school about it because they would ring my parents and I would rather it came directly from me.
(My friend also has trich and went to a teacher about it as it was getting worse due to stress / pressure and although they set up some appointments with student welfare people for her, they also rang her parents (they already knew about her trich though so it wasn’t a shock for them).

sorry, word splurge happened
Oh I'm sorry I know what you mean about that kind of relationship with your parents. I have a similar one with mine. Whenever I said to my mum I had to see the dr she outright asked me if I was making whatever it was up sending hugs to you
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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#51
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That sounds really difficult about the lack of confidentiality, if your school would ring up your parents like that.

It sounds really hard, feeling like you'd be disappointing your parents if they found out I would sincerely hope that that wouldn't be the case. Good parents, though they might be shocked/disappointed at first, would want to focus on how to help you, rather than berating you or seeing you as an overall disappointment

Massive hugs hun :jumphug:
(Original post by Anonymous)
Then what am I missing? I thought what I said was correct in regards to mental health. Correct me if I'm wrong mate
I don't wanna turn this into a debate thread but: what you said works on the assumption that (a) there's a god/some gods, and (b) that they will always heal if approached, and (c) it is that god's will that the person be healed of mental ill health. It's a very naive and idealistic view. People don't get or have mental health problems because they don't believe in a god, or because they do believe in a god but haven't asked that god for healing. Is really not how things work at all :nope:
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laurawatt
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#52
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#52
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
That sounds really difficult about the lack of confidentiality, if your school would ring up your parents like that.

It sounds really hard, feeling like you'd be disappointing your parents if they found out I would sincerely hope that that wouldn't be the case. Good parents, though they might be shocked/disappointed at first, would want to focus on how to help you, rather than berating you or seeing you as an overall disappointment

Massive hugs hun :jumphug:
:sadnod: they have to ring up to say I’d be getting student welfare sessions, and then my parents would ask me what it’s about

:yes: I feel like they would just try and act like I didn’t tell them, and that nothing has happened. they want everything to be right all the time. Our family doesn’t really do feelings
the problem is, me/my siblings have never told them anything ‘big’ like this, so I don’t know how they would react.

I feel like everything has to be done perfectly - regardless of what it is, and my trich and dermatillomania are imperfections that I can’t seem to get rid of. The pressure that my family (mostly indirectly) puts on me is so huge that I feel like picking at my skin and hairs is the only way out, my only proper outlet, and I just don’t think they would a) understand and b) want to understand.

sorry, I’ve done another word splurge
:hugs:
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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#53
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(Original post by laurawatt)
:sadnod: they have to ring up to say I’d be getting student welfare sessions, and then my parents would ask me what it’s about

:yes: I feel like they would just try and act like I didn’t tell them, and that nothing has happened. they want everything to be right all the time. Our family doesn’t really do feelings
the problem is, me/my siblings have never told them anything ‘big’ like this, so I don’t know how they would react.

I feel like everything has to be done perfectly - regardless of what it is, and my trich and dermatillomania are imperfections that I can’t seem to get rid of. The pressure that my family (mostly indirectly) puts on me is so huge that I feel like picking at my skin and hairs is the only way out, my only proper outlet, and I just don’t think they would a) understand and b) want to understand.

sorry, I’ve done another word splurge
:hugs:
Never apologise for word splurges: it sounds like an incredibly difficult situation and we're here to vent to, as much as is helpful for you! :console:

It's definitely difficult when something 'big' like this hasn't been said before and you have little way of gauging the reaction. Are there any family members outside your nuclear family, who you could talk to about it?

So sorry that the situation is so difficult
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laurawatt
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#54
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#54
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Never apologise for word splurges: it sounds like an incredibly difficult situation and we're here to vent to, as much as is helpful for you! :console:

It's definitely difficult when something 'big' like this hasn't been said before and you have little way of gauging the reaction. Are there any family members outside your nuclear family, who you could talk to about it?

So sorry that the situation is so difficult
:hugs: thank you so much for your ongoing support

nope, I’m not close to my extended family as I see them once a year max.
i might ask my best friend to help with how to tell them (she also has trich, but so do her parents so it wasn’t a big thing for her to tell them)

i just dont don’t want them to think that I’m not okay mentally, I mean I know I’m not but that isn’t because of the trich. I don’t want to drop a bombshell on them: oh yeah by the way I have these two ICDs, and much more frequently occurring stymptoms of xyz and zyx, any questions?

its hard, but I know I need to speak to them soon about it :sadnod:
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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#55
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(Original post by laurawatt)
:hugs: thank you so much for your ongoing support

nope, I’m not close to my extended family as I see them once a year max.
i might ask my best friend to help with how to tell them (she also has trich, but so do her parents so it wasn’t a big thing for her to tell them)

i just dont don’t want them to think that I’m not okay mentally, I mean I know I’m not but that isn’t because of the trich. I don’t want to drop a bombshell on them: oh yeah by the way I have these two ICDs, and much more frequently occurring stymptoms of xyz and zyx, any questions?

its hard, but I know I need to speak to them soon about it :sadnod:
Asking friends how to go about it sounds like a good idea. And yeah, I get what you mean. It can be hard to know how to tell parents these things :sadnod:
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laurawatt
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#56
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It’s taken me to long to write that reply, sorry! I’ve spent the last 20 minutes trying to pick out a loose piece of skin from by my nail.
This isn’t how bad it’s become, I should be doing maths revision for an assessment tomorrow, and what am I doing instead? picking my blooming skin

/rant
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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#57
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(Original post by laurawatt)
It’s taken me to long to write that reply, sorry! I’ve spent the last 20 minutes trying to pick out a loose piece of skin from by my nail.
This isn’t how bad it’s become, I should be doing maths revision for an assessment tomorrow, and what am I doing instead? picking my blooming skin

/rant
:jumphug:
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zooxanthellae
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#58
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I think that’s the worst thing about dermatillomania for me - it stops me concentrating on things which I need to be doing (usually school work) as I pick when I’m stressed about it but then I get more stressed about not working and I pick more and ahhhhhhh now I’m rambling. The point is I relate so much to this. But we can get through!
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laurawatt
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#59
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(Original post by zooxanthellae)
I think that’s the worst thing about dermatillomania for me - it stops me concentrating on things which I need to be doing (usually school work) as I pick when I’m stressed about it but then I get more stressed about not working and I pick more and ahhhhhhh now I’m rambling. The point is I relate so much to this. But we can get through!
No, that makes sense, once you start you get stressed about it, which makes you pick more :yes:
we can :yep: :jumphug:
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laurawatt
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#60
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#60
04/10/18

Had a maths test today which made everything a bit worse today and last night.

Hair count:
13 but I’ve also picked the skin on 4 of my fingers red raw
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