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Boyfriend stealing problem watch

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    So basically I’m 20 and I’ve never had a proper boyfriend that would commit to me. I’ve dated a lot of guys, two long term. But I seem to find other people’s boyfriends attractive, I try to get with them to prove I can get a bf. I can’t go on a night out without trying to get with someone, it’s like I’m trying to make myself feel wanted. But all the time what I really want is an actual bf not a one night stand. I think I’ve been treated badly by a lot of guys and now I’m just messed up. I can’t be happy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So basically I’m 20 and I’ve never had a proper boyfriend that would commit to me. I’ve dated a lot of guys, two long term. But I seem to find other people’s boyfriends attractive, I try to get with them to prove I can get a bf. I can’t go on a night out without trying to get with someone, it’s like I’m trying to make myself feel wanted. But all the time what I really want is an actual bf not a one night stand. I think I’ve been treated badly by a lot of guys and now I’m just messed up. I can’t be happy.
    First of all, stop stealing other people’s boyfriends. You would not want another girl to steal your own bf.

    The solution, to me, is to go to environments where you can socialise with different people. Try not to go to clubs alot because there are chances that you would be drunk, feel lonely and try to steal another girl’s man.

    I also think you should think about yourself and your relationships. Why don't boys want to stick with you for a long time? Are you difficult to live with? Are you annoying? Or are you just plain too young to be thinking of grown up relationships.

    If you are still young, most guys your age wont be interested in a long term relationship. They are interested in hanging out with several people to understand themselves. Try not to overthink it. Good luck.
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    Your happiness or worth shouldn't revolve around male attention.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I seem to find other people’s boyfriends attractive, I try to get with them to prove I can get a bf.
    It doesn't prove anything except you are weeding out the guys who are disloyal. Do you want a guy like that? Silly logic.

    Just focus on yourself, a relationship isn't the be all and end all.
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    How about you try to stick to one? Like 1st bf will be your last.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So basically I’m 20 and I’ve never had a proper boyfriend that would commit to me. I’ve dated a lot of guys, two long term. But I seem to find other people’s boyfriends attractive, I try to get with them to prove I can get a bf. I can’t go on a night out without trying to get with someone, it’s like I’m trying to make myself feel wanted. But all the time what I really want is an actual bf not a one night stand. I think I’ve been treated badly by a lot of guys and now I’m just messed up. I can’t be happy.
    Take time out for yourself. You clearly aren't in a very good place right now with yourself. Work on your own issues, learn to love yourself and then you can be happy with a boyfriend.

    Also, stop breaking up relationships. Imagine how you would feel if your boyfriend cheated on you. It would be horrendous and you'd feel really crap, so don't do it to another girl.
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    So you enjoy ruining everyone's life lol? Nice one.

    Let's see.

    The guy loses his gf and you don't stick with him.
    The girl loses her bf.
    You go on with your life feeling like crap.

    Keep your problems to yourself.
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    Did anyone else come into this thread thinking a girls boyfriend was stealing things ...lol
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    Did anyone else come into this thread thinking a girls boyfriend was stealing things ...lol
    ''I made this thread because I'm so happy - I had a problem and then my boyfriend stole it!''
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    Did anyone else come into this thread thinking a girls boyfriend was stealing things ...lol
    I fully thought he was stealing money from her purse.

    Now I'm disappointed.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So basically I’m 20 and I’ve never had a proper boyfriend that would commit to me. I’ve dated a lot of guys, two long term. But I seem to find other people’s boyfriends attractive, I try to get with them to prove I can get a bf. I can’t go on a night out without trying to get with someone, it’s like I’m trying to make myself feel wanted. But all the time what I really want is an actual bf not a one night stand. I think I’ve been treated badly by a lot of guys and now I’m just messed up. I can’t be happy.
    I'd advise not to steal other people's boyfriends. It's not nice and it won't make you many friends. You'll also never have a long term bf if you steal someone elses. If they become your bf, then they'll most likely leave you for someone else in the future.

    I'd also suggest trying a dating app/website. It's a good place to go to if you need to feel wanted. I did the same when I got out of an abusive relationship and it helped.

    Just take your time and try not to worry about having a boyfriend so much. Enjoy your life and don't stress about being in a relationship.
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    I know other people have said you shouldn't try to get with other people's boyfriends, and they're right. It's an unfair thing to do, and when you finally settle down with someone you would be gutted if another girl tried to do that to you.

    You need to address your issues with how you feel about yourself. If you feel as though you "need" to try to get with people to feel wanted, then this is a severe issue for you I'm afraid. I know what it feels like to need to be wanted. I also understand how good you can feel to get attention from men - even if it's not the men you should be even thinking about - when everything else makes you feel alone.

    But I promise you, enabling men to cheat will not make you any more popular, and even if you do end up with one of these men, if they cheated to get with you, they'll cheat on you, too.

    Stop trying to get with people. Address your own personal issues, and see a counsellor about how you feel. You can never be comfortable in a relationship until you're comfortable with yourself.
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    (I'm always kind of amazed in these discussions that homewreckers never seem to consider that some people react with violence when you try and take what's theirs, seen way way too many guys and girls leaving clubs with their face split open over it and they never seem to know why)
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    Your basically making up for any neglect or bad way a guy has treated you in the past. Also your liking other peoples boyfriends cos you see how thwy act towards their gfs and ur slightly jealous, thats why ur not happy with one night stands. If u want to get a genuine bf that cares for you and loves you, you need to be genuine and yourself; you need to stop hooking up with random guys and talk to a guy instead and see were it leads then u know there not there just for the sex and actually like you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So basically I’m 20 and I’ve never had a proper boyfriend that would commit to me. I’ve dated a lot of guys, two long term. But I seem to find other people’s boyfriends attractive, I try to get with them to prove I can get a bf. I can’t go on a night out without trying to get with someone, it’s like I’m trying to make myself feel wanted. But all the time what I really want is an actual bf not a one night stand. I think I’ve been treated badly by a lot of guys and now I’m just messed up. I can’t be happy.
    Well that's your own fault really.
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    It's a shame you can't steal their class.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So basically I’m 20 and I’ve never had a proper boyfriend that would commit to me. I’ve dated a lot of guys, two long term. But I seem to find other people’s boyfriends attractive, I try to get with them to prove I can get a bf. I can’t go on a night out without trying to get with someone, it’s like I’m trying to make myself feel wanted. But all the time what I really want is an actual bf not a one night stand. I think I’ve been treated badly by a lot of guys and now I’m just messed up. I can’t be happy.
    Before you can think about getting into any relationships, you have to solve this problem. Recognising it is a very good first step (well done for being brave enough to share this) and many people have advice to offer. My advice is that you need to change the course on what makes you feel happy, like for you: it is a boy's attention. If you can find healthier ways to make you happy, it would help you tremendously, like having good hobbies. Try working on your self-improvement, that is to say learn what you like and try to become good at it. You will feel great about yourself.

    THE SOLUTION TO ANY PSYCHOLOGICAL ILLNESS IS SELF IMPROVEMENT.

    Plus, some people here have some great advice, follow that too.
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    A lot of high moral preachers here. Yet sooner or later most if not all of them will find themselves in similar situations, and then twist the situation to sound like they've done no wrong its not their fault or whatever.

    You like other girls boyfriends because its fun and dangerous when you have sex with their boyfrends. The trend has been going on for thousands of years, and the prospect of marriage hasn't changed a thing to try prevent unfaithfulness. You'd think that these days with the sheer amount of studies showing marriages end in divorce that it would prove that open relationships are the way forward in human evolution... but you know, lets just stay with being religious and taking up some religion of following some imaginary fairy in the sky.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So basically I’m 20 and I’ve never had a proper boyfriend that would commit to me. I’ve dated a lot of guys, two long term. But I seem to find other people’s boyfriends attractive, I try to get with them to prove I can get a bf. I can’t go on a night out without trying to get with someone, it’s like I’m trying to make myself feel wanted. But all the time what I really want is an actual bf not a one night stand. I think I’ve been treated badly by a lot of guys and now I’m just messed up. I can’t be happy.
    I think you need Jesus!!!!
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    (Original post by Ems11)
    A lot of high moral preachers here. Yet sooner or later most if not all of them will find themselves in similar situations, and then twist the situation to sound like they've done no wrong its not their fault or whatever.

    You like other girls boyfriends because its fun and dangerous when you have sex with their boyfrends. The trend has been going on for thousands of years, and the prospect of marriage hasn't changed a thing to try prevent unfaithfulness. You'd think that these days with the sheer amount of studies showing marriages end in divorce that it would prove that open relationships are the way forward in human evolution... but you know, lets just stay with being religious and taking up some religion of following some imaginary fairy in the sky.
    Nah, this is not true.

    Human socialisation has always resulted in a one man to one woman or one man to many women situation. Open relationships have never been the norm. Please stop spreading lies. Or maybe you are trying to compare modern humans to cavemen.

    If we were to pursue your suggestion with open relationships, there would be chaos. Humans possess two qualities that would prevent that, jealousy and ownership. No matter how “liberal” one is, they wont be pleased to share their partner with another person.

    If it is a randomer, then some people may not mind because they truly would not care about the person’s wellbeing. However, when it boils down to being with someone and loving them; very very few people, if not none, would be open to sharing them with another.

    These qualities, and some others, have kept us on top of the animal kingdom. Some people like to compare us to basic animals, but few of them acknowledge the fact that humans have the intelligence levels that other animals lack.
 
 
 
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