Furry's second grade- a chronic illness blog Watch

furryface12
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Week 8

A mixed week really of two halves. I should be asleep but that's not happening so guess I'll write this now.

Monday I handed in the ridiculous lab report with the rest of my group, and we started the stuff for the other half of the module. It's a bit.. weird. But I can kind of see why they're doing it. There was another three hours on it this morning which was apparently important but that didn't happen so oh well. I'll catch up eventually, maybe. Tuesday I managed to get going on my other project again properly which was probably a good thing as it was due on Thursday. Also tried to go to the market thing after mentoring but it had just finished which is annoying. Wednesday I did the school thing in the morning which was nice even if I did play terribly, then after a lot of hassle I finally managed to get the project finished and my third deadline of the week made.

Thursday started alright with yet another lecture on a topic we've done to death, it did have some new stuff though as well as just being confusing. The seminar after is this week instead so I could come home and rest for a bit before my second lecture, before picking up some society stuff with a friend and chatting to her a bit. Also picked up meds as I'd run out. Then I rang home in the evening which was kind f just bad. Well not bad in itself but was some potentially really bad news which they'd been holding off telling me, which was a bad sign in itself. So yeah that's kind of messed me up a little bit, I really don't deal well with not knowing stuff and that nothing is actually confirmed yet has really got to me. I wish I just didn't know at all tbh which I feel bad for, but anyway. Friday I can't really remember what happened, think I must've gone to a lecture and then my boyfriend came. I was a complete mess most of the weekend and not at all functional, a combination of being completely exhausted, the stuff from home and some other bits just got to me. Which I really feel bad for cus he drove ages to see me. Sunday was a bit better and went and got pudding with him and some nice tea loving purple and blue people from TSR. And made it to rehearsal somehow in the evening too, even if I did almost sleep through it.

So yeah, pretty much it. I completely gave up on today, really needed a day off. I still really need a day off but there you go. Seeing my DSA mentor tomorrow so hopefully that will help a little bit, I'll probably ring home again too. Then the rest of the week is just plodding on trying to catch up with stuff a bit (not least somehow myself), then a big thing with uni band on Sunday. Really don't see how I'm going to get to exams at this rate but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Will wait until we get the timetable then I'll see if I maybe can defer one or something, three just isn't going to happen even if I do manage to get through the next few weeks without completely crashing. Which is unlikely, just been ignoring my physical health pretty much for weeks and that's going to backfire spectacularly.

Sorry for the long rambly update, I just needed to get that lot out really. Targets for last week I pretty much did. New ones are:
- speak to my parents and try get my head round what's going on a bit
- catch up on the module I'm really behind with
- catch up on the stuff I missed this morning and some other bits from the last few weeks
- do the next online test
- do uni bandy thingy
- try look after myself sufficiently to not have a huge meltdown. But also put stuff in place so I can try and keep myself safe if/when I probably inevitably do

Hope everyone's alright and hopefully asleep- well done if you somehow made it through alk that. Have a good week all


04MR17 Anon_98 CoolCavy gcsemusicsucks Pathway Rigel sinfonietta The_Lonely_Goatherd
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Lemur14
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:jumphug: Sounds like a long week, well done for getting through that! Sorry to hear about bad family news :console: Hope it's not as bad as it seems whatever it is :yep:
Good luck for the uni band thing on Sunday!
Look after yourself :cube:
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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Sorry to hear about the news from home - thinking of you

Good idea not to stress about exams until you've got the timetable. Hopefully you can defer some stuff but until you know what you're dealing with, it's not worth getting too stressed about

Loads of hugs :jumphug:
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gcsemusicsucks
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Sorry about the bad news :console: Well done for getting through this week though, and good luck with those targets :hugs:
Please take care of yourself! Health comes first :yep:
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furryface12
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(Original post by Lemur14)
:jumphug: Sounds like a long week, well done for getting through that! Sorry to hear about bad family news :console: Hope it's not as bad as it seems whatever it is :yep:
Good luck for the uni band thing on Sunday!
Look after yourself :cube:
Thank you. Sorry that got a bit cryptic spoke to my parents last night and it hopefully isn't as bad as I first thought though. Just have to wait and see I guess but feeling a bit more positive now. Thank you


(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Sorry to hear about the news from home - thinking of you

Good idea not to stress about exams until you've got the timetable. Hopefully you can defer some stuff but until you know what you're dealing with, it's not worth getting too stressed about

Loads of hugs :jumphug:
Thanks yeah :/ spoke to my DSA mentor but it looks like I have loads of content-heavy ones next semester too so deferring one to then may not be the best option. But we'll work something out.
(Original post by gcsemusicsucks)
Sorry about the bad news :console: Well done for getting through this week though, and good luck with those targets :hugs:
Please take care of yourself! Health comes first :yep:
Thanks you too
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Lemur14
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(Original post by furryface12)
Thank you. Sorry that got a bit cryptic spoke to my parents last night and it hopefully isn't as bad as I first thought though. Just have to wait and see I guess but feeling a bit more positive now. Thank you
It's alright, it's up to you how much you share! Glad it seems to be less bad and you're feeling more positive :hugs:


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Slowbro93
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furryface12 Just popping in to say hi :wavey: :hugs:
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furryface12
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(Original post by Slowbro93)
furryface12 Just popping in to say hi :wavey: :hugs:
:wavey: how are you doing? Sorry for the late reply, left my brain

Also were you meant to be on my tag list? just realised I may have been missing you off for the last don't know how long :getmecoat:
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Slowbro93
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(Original post by furryface12)
:wavey: how are you doing? Sorry for the late reply, left my brain

Also were you meant to be on my tag list? just realised I may have been missing you off for the last don't know how long :getmecoat:
I'm doing well, still writing up (although not very fast!) and still ticking along How are you?

I don't know actually, if so, just add me to it
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furryface12
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Week 9

Getting late in the term now! Finally.

This week's been a bit better, if still very hard at times. The big thing is that my dad is hopefully okay, or if not okay things aren't looking as bad as they were which is a huge relief. I've been pretty rubbish physically but managed to pick up a bit mentally towards the end of the week so that's good.Struggling to remember most of it but i'll include what I can based on what i've written down in various places (or not).

Monday I took off which I really needed. I just wasn't in any fit state to do anything really so yeah. Necessary. Tuesday I saw my DSA and actually managed to tell her a bit about what was going on for once, and we talked about exams and stuff too. Looking ahead at my modules next term it doesn't look very likely that i'll be able to defer any of my exams, or at least it wouldn't be very sensible given the ones I already have in the summer. That said I have since had my exam timetable for January and it's about as good as it could be. I'll talk to her and my parents a bit tomorrow but I'll probably try and stick with them for now and if I need to apply for ECs I need to apply for ECs. Wednesday I managed to get to my seminar after an inhumane effort getting out, the tutor didn't comment on me being nearly 20 minutes late which I will be eternally grateful for.

Thursday was my busy day, I had a lecture then two hour seminar with a mini presentation in that I'd forgotten about. It went okay though and the feedback I got was actually pretty good. I then for some reason decided to stick around for the lecture an hour later which I normally miss after those. I think I thought it'd be easier to go than to catch up but I didn't really get a word of it so I'm going to have to anyway I think. In the evening I did a couple of hours work to catch up on the stuff I'd missed monday which again I'm not sure why I did then, I'd done way way too much by that point but was very glad to get it done Friday and Saturday I basically just rested and did bits of random work where I could. I also went to a social after rehearsal friday night which was really nice, just pizza and a film but it was with people and I went and survived and sort of maybe actually almost enjoyed it. Even if I did crash afterwards as per, and I'd almost passed out several times in the rehearsal before it.

So yeah, long week tbh and it feels like a lot's happened in it. I've just been floating through mostly completely oblivious to what's going on around me, one of my (as yet undiagnosed) conditions has been flaring up too which has had me very very sick and dizzy the whole time on top of everything else. I had band stuff pretty much all day yesterday which was good but very long, and a lot more than I could cope with. I came back and suddenly realised what a vicious cycle i've got back into healthwise with ignoring it, doing too much and being on semi-detached autopilot the whole time. Which is massive warning sign for me and never ends well. So I rang my parents earlier and after I've seen my DSA mentor tomorrow I'm going to go home for the rest of the week and try and sort myself out. Then I can come back Sunday and have one last push to get through the last couple of weeks of term.

So, targets. I've done some of the catching up I needed and completed the online test due. I spoke to my parents and calmed down a lot about that and did the uni band thing. Not having a meltdown didn't completely happen but I've managed to stop myself before anything worse happens and i'm taking action to sort things out. Which is pretty good for me. New targets are:
- See my mentor tomorrow
- Go home, rest and do anything I need to do to look after myself
- Do bits of work where I feel able, but not ridiculous amounts
- Email the seminar tutor whose class i'm missing on wednesday

Hope everyone's okay :hugs: sorry for the long rambly update/possible lack of sense making, exhausted would be an understatement tbh. Let me know if you want adding/removing from the tag list as always

04MR17 Anon_98 CoolCavy FloralHybrid gcsemusicsucks Pathway Rigel sinfonietta Slowbro93 The_Lonely_Goatherd
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furryface12
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(Original post by Slowbro93)
I'm doing well, still writing up (although not very fast!) and still ticking along How are you?

I don't know actually, if so, just add me to it
Ticking along is good! You'll get there, be DrSB in no time I'm pretty mixed but hopefully be fine. Just need sleep more than anything really! And you don't have to be at all, I just suddenly realised I thought you'd asked at some point but I'd lost you somewhere along the line. So sorry if you had did in the above update just to remind me for next time
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(Original post by furryface12)
Week 9

Getting late in the term now! Finally.

This week's been a bit better, if still very hard at times. The big thing is that my dad is hopefully okay, or if not okay things aren't looking as bad as they were which is a huge relief. I've been pretty rubbish physically but managed to pick up a bit mentally towards the end of the week so that's good.Struggling to remember most of it but i'll include what I can based on what i've written down in various places (or not).

Monday I took off which I really needed. I just wasn't in any fit state to do anything really so yeah. Necessary. Tuesday I saw my DSA and actually managed to tell her a bit about what was going on for once, and we talked about exams and stuff too. Looking ahead at my modules next term it doesn't look very likely that i'll be able to defer any of my exams, or at least it wouldn't be very sensible given the ones I already have in the summer. That said I have since had my exam timetable for January and it's about as good as it could be. I'll talk to her and my parents a bit tomorrow but I'll probably try and stick with them for now and if I need to apply for ECs I need to apply for ECs. Wednesday I managed to get to my seminar after an inhumane effort getting out, the tutor didn't comment on me being nearly 20 minutes late which I will be eternally grateful for.

Thursday was my busy day, I had a lecture then two hour seminar with a mini presentation in that I'd forgotten about. It went okay though and the feedback I got was actually pretty good. I then for some reason decided to stick around for the lecture an hour later which I normally miss after those. I think I thought it'd be easier to go than to catch up but I didn't really get a word of it so I'm going to have to anyway I think. In the evening I did a couple of hours work to catch up on the stuff I'd missed monday which again I'm not sure why I did then, I'd done way way too much by that point but was very glad to get it done Friday and Saturday I basically just rested and did bits of random work where I could. I also went to a social after rehearsal friday night which was really nice, just pizza and a film but it was with people and I went and survived and sort of maybe actually almost enjoyed it. Even if I did crash afterwards as per, and I'd almost passed out several times in the rehearsal before it.

So yeah, long week tbh and it feels like a lot's happened in it. I've just been floating through mostly completely oblivious to what's going on around me, one of my (as yet undiagnosed) conditions has been flaring up too which has had me very very sick and dizzy the whole time on top of everything else. I had band stuff pretty much all day yesterday which was good but very long, and a lot more than I could cope with. I came back and suddenly realised what a vicious cycle i've got back into healthwise with ignoring it, doing too much and being on semi-detached autopilot the whole time. Which is massive warning sign for me and never ends well. So I rang my parents earlier and after I've seen my DSA mentor tomorrow I'm going to go home for the rest of the week and try and sort myself out. Then I can come back Sunday and have one last push to get through the last couple of weeks of term.

So, targets. I've done some of the catching up I needed and completed the online test due. I spoke to my parents and calmed down a lot about that and did the uni band thing. Not having a meltdown didn't completely happen but I've managed to stop myself before anything worse happens and i'm taking action to sort things out. Which is pretty good for me. New targets are:
- See my mentor tomorrow
- Go home, rest and do anything I need to do to look after myself
- Do bits of work where I feel able, but not ridiculous amounts
- Email the seminar tutor whose class i'm missing on wednesday

Hope everyone's okay :hugs: sorry for the long rambly update/possible lack of sense making, exhausted would be an understatement tbh. Let me know if you want adding/removing from the tag list as always

04MR17 Anon_98 CoolCavy FloralHybrid gcsemusicsucks Pathway Rigel sinfonietta Slowbro93 The_Lonely_Goatherd
Always here if you need to chat. Sorry things are so rough!
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FloralHybrid
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(Original post by furryface12)
Week 9

Getting late in the term now! Finally.

This week's been a bit better, if still very hard at times. The big thing is that my dad is hopefully okay, or if not okay things aren't looking as bad as they were which is a huge relief. I've been pretty rubbish physically but managed to pick up a bit mentally towards the end of the week so that's good.Struggling to remember most of it but i'll include what I can based on what i've written down in various places (or not).

Monday I took off which I really needed. I just wasn't in any fit state to do anything really so yeah. Necessary. Tuesday I saw my DSA and actually managed to tell her a bit about what was going on for once, and we talked about exams and stuff too. Looking ahead at my modules next term it doesn't look very likely that i'll be able to defer any of my exams, or at least it wouldn't be very sensible given the ones I already have in the summer. That said I have since had my exam timetable for January and it's about as good as it could be. I'll talk to her and my parents a bit tomorrow but I'll probably try and stick with them for now and if I need to apply for ECs I need to apply for ECs. Wednesday I managed to get to my seminar after an inhumane effort getting out, the tutor didn't comment on me being nearly 20 minutes late which I will be eternally grateful for.

Thursday was my busy day, I had a lecture then two hour seminar with a mini presentation in that I'd forgotten about. It went okay though and the feedback I got was actually pretty good. I then for some reason decided to stick around for the lecture an hour later which I normally miss after those. I think I thought it'd be easier to go than to catch up but I didn't really get a word of it so I'm going to have to anyway I think. In the evening I did a couple of hours work to catch up on the stuff I'd missed monday which again I'm not sure why I did then, I'd done way way too much by that point but was very glad to get it done Friday and Saturday I basically just rested and did bits of random work where I could. I also went to a social after rehearsal friday night which was really nice, just pizza and a film but it was with people and I went and survived and sort of maybe actually almost enjoyed it. Even if I did crash afterwards as per, and I'd almost passed out several times in the rehearsal before it.

So yeah, long week tbh and it feels like a lot's happened in it. I've just been floating through mostly completely oblivious to what's going on around me, one of my (as yet undiagnosed) conditions has been flaring up too which has had me very very sick and dizzy the whole time on top of everything else. I had band stuff pretty much all day yesterday which was good but very long, and a lot more than I could cope with. I came back and suddenly realised what a vicious cycle i've got back into healthwise with ignoring it, doing too much and being on semi-detached autopilot the whole time. Which is massive warning sign for me and never ends well. So I rang my parents earlier and after I've seen my DSA mentor tomorrow I'm going to go home for the rest of the week and try and sort myself out. Then I can come back Sunday and have one last push to get through the last couple of weeks of term.

So, targets. I've done some of the catching up I needed and completed the online test due. I spoke to my parents and calmed down a lot about that and did the uni band thing. Not having a meltdown didn't completely happen but I've managed to stop myself before anything worse happens and i'm taking action to sort things out. Which is pretty good for me. New targets are:
- See my mentor tomorrow
- Go home, rest and do anything I need to do to look after myself
- Do bits of work where I feel able, but not ridiculous amounts
- Email the seminar tutor whose class i'm missing on wednesday

Hope everyone's okay :hugs: sorry for the long rambly update/possible lack of sense making, exhausted would be an understatement tbh. Let me know if you want adding/removing from the tag list as always

04MR17 Anon_98 CoolCavy FloralHybrid gcsemusicsucks Pathway Rigel sinfonietta Slowbro93 The_Lonely_Goatherd
Chronic illness sucks - Sorry to see you didn’t have a great week 😔

But resting, and doing work when you’re able is exactly the kind of goal to have.

Here’s hoping the week ahead will be a more positive one 🥳
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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Well done on getting through the week, and especially for being able to tell your DSA mentor some of what's been going on. Really proud of you for that :yep:

Please do try and rest at home, so that the vicious cycle doesn't continue for too long

:hugs:
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Lemur14
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Glad your dad is hopefully okay!
Sounds like a very busy week :eek: Well done for getting through all that :hugs:
Also well done for making the decision to go home, hope that resets the bad cycle :yep:
:jumphug:

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gcsemusicsucks
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Sounds like the mini presentation went well despite you forgetting about it! :woo:
Well done for accepting that you need a break, hope it helps! :hugs:
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Protostar
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Please can I be tagged :sad:
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furryface12
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(Original post by Pathway)
Always here if you need to chat. Sorry things are so rough!
(Original post by FloralHybrid)
Chronic illness sucks - Sorry to see you didn’t have a great week 😔

But resting, and doing work when you’re able is exactly the kind of goal to have.

Here’s hoping the week ahead will be a more positive one 🥳
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
Well done on getting through the week, and especially for being able to tell your DSA mentor some of what's been going on. Really proud of you for that :yep:

Please do try and rest at home, so that the vicious cycle doesn't continue for too long

:hugs:
(Original post by Lemur14)
Glad your dad is hopefully okay!
Sounds like a very busy week :eek: Well done for getting through all that :hugs:
Also well done for making the decision to go home, hope that resets the bad cycle :yep:
:jumphug:

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(Original post by gcsemusicsucks)
Sounds like the mini presentation went well despite you forgetting about it! :woo:
Well done for accepting that you need a break, hope it helps! :hugs:
Thanks all :hugs:

(Original post by Protostar)
Please can I be tagged :sad:
Argh sorry if you'd asked before :/ will try remember
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brainzistheword
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Good luck with your endeavours please tag me!
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furryface12
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Weeks 10 and 11

Sorry for lack of update last week it got so late I figured I may as well wait for this one, and just didn't have the energy.

Week 10 I had my lab on the monday morning in which I tried to catch up on some of the stats and data preparation stuff the rest of the class had done the week before. I worked slowly but did get some done, despite really not feeling great. On the Tuesday I missed an optional lecture I had actually intended/needed to go to, but then had mentoring. She commented on how rubbish I looked and I said I was going home straight after so yeah. My mum came and went and I chucked some stuff in a bag/did the washing up and she took me home. The rest of the week was basically just resting. I finished the stats stuff off at some point and caught up on a lecture but think that was about it workwise. My boyfriend came up for the weekend which was lovely, my mum fed us lots and we watched paddington cus he hadn't seen it (the only film ever I had and him not probably!). Then I came back up here sunday afternoon/evening.

Going home helped, it means I can hopefully get to the end of the term which I really wouldn't have otherwise. It's mostly just meant I've felt worse this week, I missed a lot too in the almost week I was away. Monday I felt absolutely awful, I made it to the lab but just stared into space for most of it. There was a social I wanted to go to monday night but didn't get there. Tuesday I had mentoring again and we talked through getting an extension on my lab report, and my plan for exams. I really want to try and sit them, it feels a shame not to after all this work. So I'm going to give them a go I think, or at least the first two then the last one I'll have to see. Once I got home and I thought about it all a bit more I realised it might be better to ask for the lab report to be deferred to next term. I hadn't even started it and didn't know when I was going to. It came down to that I was either going to really push myself to get it done at the expense of my health and all of my exams, or do that. So after seeing the disability team and my tutor that's what i'm going to do. It hasn't been officially confirmed yet but I'm very relieved.

That's pretty much been my week, with a few minor breakdowns along the way. My lectures thursday and friday were cancelled thankfully, I did go to the seminar on wednesday which was helpful even if I didn't participate much. I've got a lot better idea of what's expected in the exams now. I also saw my GP which was actually pretty helpful for once, got some rescue meds to deal with a couple of my symptoms which have been really bothering me the last few weeks. Hopefully they help once I actually drag myself to the pharmacy to pick them up! I pulled out a concert I was meant to do tonight so I could try and get through the one tomorrow and the rest of the week. Today itself ended up insanely stressful which I won't go into on here, but I am quite proud of how I handled it and very grateful to my parents, boyfriend and uni support staff for helping me get through it.

Sorry for the long and slightly jumbled update! tl;dr I've really not been particularly well physically or mentally, but been doing my best to look after myself where I can. New targets for THE LAST WEEK OF TERM are:
- do stuff tomorrow but try not to kill myself in the process
- possibly have a go at the online test if I feel like it tomorrow night (yeah right... they take your best four out of five so it's not the end of the world. I wanted to get it done as the last one's likely to be harder but that just hasn't happened this week)
- do what I can for exam on wednesday and for the rearranged test I missed last week
- try get to at least one christmassy or social thing, even if it's not for very long

Hope everyone's okay, thank you for all your support on here as always and outside for those of you there. Let me know if you want removing from the taglist at any point, it's getting long now!

04MR17 Anon_98 brainzistheword CoolCavy FloralHybrid gcsemusicsucks Pathway Protostar Rigel sinfonietta Slowbro93 The_Lonely_Goatherd
Last edited by furryface12; 2 months ago
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