This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

What am I? Bi? Maybe a bit graphic

Confused, I dont find men a turn on in general, at most I can recognise they are attractive but not be attractive, with women you could show me a curvy woman in her 50's whos a bit saggy and a lot of times Im so turned on.

But show me a woman who I find attractive, esp curvy ones and I want them but at same time they make me fantasise about gay sex, I have only had full sex with 1 girl, fooled around with about 3 others but been penetrated by about 3 men and gone down or fooled around with about 5 or 6 others.

Strangely I only find gay men attracitve and bi men sexually so, what I mean is show me a man who I can tell is, or seems gay and im able to find him attractive.

Sexually im a mix between feminine and masculine, im both top and bottom but like to be kissed and felt up and penetrated by a man, and do things I would feel were kinda sick with a woman like having my nipples played with and kissed etc, and feel more feminine emotional with a guy i.e to kiss and to be hugged.

But as I say, see a woman in the streets I find her attractive, see any male and the thought doesnt cross my mind.

I watch porn but hate straight porn, its either gay or lesbian, both turn me on different ways. Men its just tbh the penetration, women its kissing and sucking every part of them visually that turns me on, and in a way thats how I feel, with sex with women I love kissing and such over their soft smooth bodies and then penetrating them.

So I love looking at women but sex with males. but I dont see a relationship with males very much as I "love" women more

Or at least all I can see with males is a sexual relationship as I would be nervous in everyday life, not im uncomfortable but I dont want to be "out" till I know for certain im gay and not bi or confused.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

generalebriety

Um. So, I'll read it again when you tell me whether you're male or female, and maybe then it'll make sense... :p:

Reply 2

Earl Grey

I think you're hetero-homo-bi-curious

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Male, should have been obvious lol

Reply 4

i.am.lost

given that you are interested in both sexes (even if in different ways) you definitely fit the bill of a bisexual in many aspects. All I can say is, as long as you're comfortable with yourself and your sexuality, then these labels society deem necessary are irrelevant.

Reply 5

tom_tom_tom

i wouldnt jump to conclusions

you dont know, people often go through a phase of unsure feelings towards the opposite sex and the same sex.

from what you have said, it seems i would place you as bi curious at the moment, just for the fact that you havent tryed anything with the same sex, the only way i supppose to completly disprove or prove any feelings is to jump in and give it ago, but as you have said that isnt always emotionaly the best idea to do it!

i would not tell anyone intill you know for sure, its hard to go "back" in the closet once you have emerged to say in on way

i would see how things pan out not worry about it now and just make sure that what ever you do you urself are comfortable with

good luck

edit: not seein
"been penetrated by about 3 men and gone down or fooled around with about 5 or 6 others."

i would now lean towards the side that you are bi!

Reply 6

bigforehead

"been penetrated by about 3 men and gone down or fooled around with about 5 or 6 others."

Bi-Curious.....hmmmm :p:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Actually I have had sex with a few other guys was nice and sexually I orgasmed more than with a female but it felt far more sexual than with a female and I think I wasnt as content, I was attracted to them just more sexually.

I think with guys it feels more like having sex with a friend, whilst the sex is going on its fantastic, before and after I loved the intimacy but not them as such more that fact I had sex and the person is a nice person, havent really bonded in a way, but with females I bond too easily I can bond to a girl and fancy her if she just says hello to me and is nice and or flirts and im pretty much "in love" with her

With guys its more loving and being loved than being in love if that makes sense

Oh and im in my mid twenties and felt this way proper for about 5 or 6 years before that it was genuine curiosity, or a phase where i just wondered what gay sex would be like.

Also when im drunk thats when im gay emotional, I want sex but also think about being in love with a guy and want sex with a guy

I think another way to put it is looking at a woman and im like "phwooar shes gorgeous" and I think about dating her and having relationship sex and it being good.

thinking about guys im more "phwoooar he looks hot, he looks like he'd be good in bed" more than a relationship.

Reply 8

scout5

i.am.lost

Religious Studies (pred. A*, 100% no doubt);.

hahaha... off topic, but this is what i thought. got an A: gutted... just remember, noah's ark is NOT on the syllabus :wink:

back to topic...

Reply 9

Earl Grey

BI

If you're not having a laugh. Sounds like you'd be more into a long-term relationship with girls, but guys are mainly for quick shags.

But what do I know, you sound a bit confused about yourself :smile:

Reply 10

tom_tom_tom

so what you are saying is that you cant quite see yourself in a long term relationship with a bloke but you can with a women

not taking into account the physical side of thing?

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Why define yourself?

A few questions, though, that may help you:

Could you imagine yourself in a relationship (i.e., not just sex), with a guy and/or a girl, and having emotional feelings for them? Ever had a crush on a guy?

How long have you had these feelings for?

I'll just note that I know of guys who are emotionally and sexually attracted to girls but also like sex with guys, just pure sex. This is where the definition bit becomes a bit pointless, just do what you feel you want to do, and don't worry about it.

Reply 12

mitsabeeba

sounds like you want anything and everything.
hmmm. maybe you're bi/homo curious.
you'll figure it out in time
actually. just sounds like you like the feeling of something penetrating you, and it just so happens men are attached to that something.
whereas you prefer everything else from women.
you can do it with women and have some....aids.... for penetration.
try that, see how u feel.

I'd say bisexual.

Anonymous

Confused, I dont find men a turn on in general, at most I can recognise they are attractive but not be attractive, with women you could show me a curvy woman in her 50's whos a bit saggy and a lot of times Im so turned on.

But show me a woman who I find attractive, esp curvy ones and I want them but at same time they make me fantasise about gay sex, I have only had full sex with 1 girl, fooled around with about 3 others but been penetrated by about 3 men and gone down or fooled around with about 5 or 6 others.

Strangely I only find gay men attracitve and bi men sexually so, what I mean is show me a man who I can tell is, or seems gay and im able to find him attractive.

Sexually im a mix between feminine and masculine, im both top and bottom but like to be kissed and felt up and penetrated by a man, and do things I would feel were kinda sick with a woman like having my nipples played with and kissed etc, and feel more feminine emotional with a guy i.e to kiss and to be hugged.
But as I say, see a woman in the streets I find her attractive, see any male and the thought doesnt cross my mind.

I watch porn but hate straight porn, its either gay or lesbian, both turn me on different ways. Men its just tbh the penetration, women its kissing and sucking every part of them visually that turns me on, and in a way thats how I feel, with sex with women I love kissing and such over their soft smooth bodies and then penetrating them.

So I love looking at women but sex with males. but I dont see a relationship with males very much as I "love" women more

Or at least all I can see with males is a sexual relationship as I would be nervous in everyday life, not im uncomfortable but I dont want to be "out" till I know for certain im gay and not bi or confused.

Does that remind anyone of Amanda Hugginkiss? :p:

As for OP, people always say this but I'm gonna say it anyway, you don't have to label yourself although from the sounds of you, it looks like your doubt comes from the fact you like sex from men but prefer relationships with women. I'd still say that makes you bi. You sound like you're having a fun time so do whatever makes you happy.

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

Just readin your post i can identify with everything youve said, like the emotional ties and the sex vs relationship thing. Im a guy and i class myself as bi. Just basically im in the mindset that I'll have fun with both for now then have a wife and kids a bit later on! lol.

Reply 16

generalebriety

Anonymous

Male, should have been obvious lol

Right, well here's my take on things.

Congratulations! Like 90% of the population, you don't fit neatly and exactly into a box. You're sitting in the "bisexuality" box and spilling gloriously over the sides. There is no label for what you are, because sexuality is an incredibly fluid thing. I bet a couple of years back you might have labelled yourself straight, or gay, or maybe even both at different times. The point is, it doesn't matter what you call yourself. Let your feelings determine your sexuality, don't allow some label you attach to yourself to sway your feelings at all. If someone asks what you are, you can say "bisexual" - but then, when people say "I'm straight/gay" (especially girls, but also guys), nine times out of ten they mean "...mostly".

We all have our preferences, our likes and dislikes, our fetishes and partialisms, some more than others, some not at all. As corny as I sound, we're all individuals. You're not straight, you're not bi, you're not gay. You're not any of these silly names, because what you are - like what everyone else is - is more complicated than that. The names exist purely to identify those who like sleeping with men/women to those who like sleeping with women/men. If I say "I'm gay", I don't mean "I'm 100% gay forever, always have been, and would never look at a woman twice". But you can see the advantage in dumbing down how I feel if I want to get a boyfriend, right?

Don't worry about it. Call yourself bi, but realise that this is a simplification of what you really are.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

As I say im not sure as not been in a proper relationship with either, with women I find them stunning as I say, even older women in their 50's who many may find just old.

With men I feel nothing unless its sexual, by that I mean make me speak to a random guy and I will feel nothing, find out hes gay and I see him as attractive then im attracted to him. so im not attracted unless I know or think they are gay.

Maybe the other guys are companionship, I love to be feminine with guys, as I say I love to be kissed, hugged by them put my head on their chest, have their arms around me and I can be in love that way.

But then id freak out a bit in public and be paranoid so not sure how I feel.

With women I like to love them, love to have them close to me, be the one who initiates things like kissing and cuddling and put my arms around them and have them lie down with me with their head on my chest. So maybe with women its more lovingly.

I think its more with guys im the object of desire, and im the one being taken control of and I like to be held with strong arms, and loved.

Whereas with women I do love them more I think but it feels more one sided and kinda conforming in a way, it feels generic.

I do admit to as I say fancying most women I meet so that confuses me. but as I say women feel more like a doll or teddy bear to love but I cant see myself as emotionally attached good or bad.

A bit of background about me anyway, I have never really liked football(though sometimes when forced to watch it with friends or national games Im a typical male) I always been emotionally stereotypical female i.e wanting to be loved, I hve girlie chats with girls(and have been to toilet with one or two just to chat)

I feel more insecure sexually with a woman than a man.

With a woman I would rather be passionate and loving whereas with a man I prefer sex, but afterwards feel embarresed

I may just be afraid of women, because gay sex is so easy to come by(by phone or internet etc) whereas with women I have to go on a night out they are very choosy and usually pass me over as im very plain.

When I have "wet dreams" its always about women.

A bit deeper is when I dream even as a kid I always dream and still do of getting married and having kids with a woman, in dreams not only dont I like the idea of spending my life with men(though not hating it) I feel more emotionally attached to women.

Thinking about it, maybe it is all emotional and partly sexual as my "urges" only got more and more as my depression got greater, when I was 17 or 18 though I wanted it, it felt more equal sided, I wouldnt of minded a relationship with a male or female, but as I get more and more bad female experiences and find it hard to connect, plus with a man after sex we could do something male like play video games so to be a typical male friend after, wheras females I worry about sexual things and feel sex would ruin it and want to just hold, cuddle and kiss and want a soulmate in a female

Also thinking about it, what I think I want in a male is a """" buddy but at same time someone I can love, or at least a fallback/rebound person when I feel low can comfort me with strong arms.

And as I say with females they are well, too girly if I wanted to cry and blurt out my feelings they wouldnt seem as "strong" physcially.

And as I say men satisfy my crying emotional side where I want to be held by strong arms and by penetrating me its a sign of closeness(plus in a way its saying im as good as him on many levels)

Thats just it, I want a strong emotional woman not a giggly girl. But im held back with her as I feel insecure as I feel I need to satisfy her and also that me being emotional isnt manly and im uncomfortable telling a female I love my negative feelings.

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

Also what turns me on the most is a butch shemale, not a petite one probably as they say best of both shes got the strength of a man, but the beauty of a woman.

Reply 19

i.am.lost

scout5

hahaha... off topic, but this is what i thought. got an A: gutted... just remember, noah's ark is NOT on the syllabus :wink:

back to topic...

hahaha noah's ark where the hell did u come up with that. i am honestly shocked when people say they didnt get A* in RE GCSE. As long as u can string an english in sentence together and VAGUELY relate it 2 religion, it seems that u get by! Then again, most people dont talk about noahs ark *roll eyes* :biggrin: