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I tried having sex for the first time and it hurt a lot.

So a few days ago (it's a Monday, and what happened was last Thursday) my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. He's experienced and I am not. I'm completely a virgin unless you count oral sex and some light fingering. At first, I was fairly confident in us having sex. I didn't think I'd be like other girls because I was ready, but boy was I wrong. Not only did it hurt (A LOT), but he couldn't even get the full penis in. I'm pretty sure he didn't even get it in half-way. Every time he would go to put it in, my muscles would tighten up and I'd let out a yelp so he had no choice but to pull out. Afterwards, I ended up bleeding and we are now both feeling really discouraged and he's worried about hurting me again. Now today, just a few days later, I tried fingering myself (which I have done no problem on my own before) but for some reason it was uncomfortable and hurt. I also bled. Which has never happened to me when I finger myself. I'm getting concerned that there is something wrong and I won't be able to handle penetration. Can anyone offer me some tips and helpful advice? I'm really scared and want to have sex with my boyfriend! But we're both so nervous now... Help!
Original post by sanche31
So a few days ago (it's a Monday, and what happened was last Thursday) my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. He's experienced and I am not. I'm completely a virgin unless you count oral sex and some light fingering. At first, I was fairly confident in us having sex. I didn't think I'd be like other girls because I was ready, but boy was I wrong. Not only did it hurt (A LOT), but he couldn't even get the full penis in. I'm pretty sure he didn't even get it in half-way. Every time he would go to put it in, my muscles would tighten up and I'd let out a yelp so he had no choice but to pull out. Afterwards, I ended up bleeding and we are now both feeling really discouraged and he's worried about hurting me again. Now today, just a few days later, I tried fingering myself (which I have done no problem on my own before) but for some reason it was uncomfortable and hurt. I also bled. Which has never happened to me when I finger myself. I'm getting concerned that there is something wrong and I won't be able to handle penetration. Can anyone offer me some tips and helpful advice? I'm really scared and want to have sex with my boyfriend! But we're both so nervous now... Help!


Google
did u try anal
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
Did you engage in a lot of foreplay? Some girls need this to get very wet so that their vagina relaxes, allowing penetration to be more comfortable.


^^ this is probably the case.
Reply 4
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
Did you engage in a lot of foreplay? Some girls need this to get very wet so that their vagina relaxes, allowing penetration to be more comfortable.

All he did was eat me out for about 30 minutes beforehand.
Original post by sanche31
All he did was eat me out for about 30 minutes beforehand.


Your BF is a f*****g champ. 30 Minutes you know. Make that man your hubby
This was literally me a year ago goshh I can relate so much. We tried like twice before and it didn't work and it lead to me researching and thinking something was wrong with me 😂 (turns out no)!
Okay so number 1. LUBE. You NEED lube for the first time it just makes it so much easier because if you don't it will hurt more and not go in easily lol.
Number 2! Make sure your body is not tensed up. Before I was confident in doing it but my body wasn't relaxed I just expected it to woop go right in but no. So just relax and loosen your vjayjay lmao, make sure you're not tightening anything.
Reply 7
Plenty of lube, plenty of foreplay, and relax!
if none of that pays off visit your GP to rule out vaginismus :smile:
Sex shouldn't be painful don't let it ruin your sex life x
Slap some durex play lube up there.
Reply 9
Original post by Everyn_nixe
This was literally me a year ago goshh I can relate so much. We tried like twice before and it didn't work and it lead to me researching and thinking something was wrong with me 😂 (turns out no)!
Okay so number 1. LUBE. You NEED lube for the first time it just makes it so much easier because if you don't it will hurt more and not go in easily lol.
Number 2! Make sure your body is not tensed up. Before I was confident in doing it but my body wasn't relaxed I just expected it to woop go right in but no. So just relax and loosen your vjayjay lmao, make sure you're not tightening anything.

how did you get yourself to relax and loosen up
Original post by sanche31
how did you get yourself to relax and loosen up

Well the first obvious points are that you have to be in a place where you're fully comfortable and don't have to worry about being caught , and that you and your partner are being patient with one another (and yourself).

For me I honestly just took a deep breath and didn't at all try to rush myself in my 'head.' I tried to be patient with myself by not focusing on getting it to work or hoping that it will in my head.

Basically, don't think too much in your head and focus on the feeling of feeling safe and secure with your partner. For me feeling safe and assured that my partner didn't have any quick expectations helped me relax and also not worry

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