Really not enjoying my time at Uni already Watch

Jaiymes
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Everybody has said that university is the best time of your life, but for me it really isn’t right now. I’ve only been moved in for about a week and I hate my halls and where I live, don’t really click with my flat mates either. I don’t feel happy about the course I’m on. I feel like dropping out because I really am not enjoying myself right now. I’ve tried to make so many friends going out on freshers but everybody seems to know each other around here and are stuck in their groups and feels like they don’t wanna know me. I live quite far away from uni so I don’t know anybody here. Can I change my halls? Or is it worth it transferring to another university closer to home?
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Princepieman
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(Original post by Jaiymes)
Everybody has said that university is the best time of your life, but for me it really isn’t right now. I’ve only been moved in for about a week and I hate my halls and where I live, don’t really click with my flat mates either. I don’t feel happy about the course I’m on. I feel like dropping out because I really am not enjoying myself right now. I’ve tried to make so many friends going out on freshers but everybody seems to know each other around here and are stuck in their groups and feels like they don’t wanna know me. I live quite far away from uni so I don’t know anybody here. Can I change my halls? Or is it worth it transferring to another university closer to home?
Literally everyone feels this, every year.. It's been a week, jeez.

This is probably the first time you're actually TRULY on your own, it doesn't get any easier so may as well learn to adjust. And yes, look into changing halls if you don't like your current one.. That can really mess with your mental health.

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hayleybowker
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Hope your okay. You have experienced a lot of changes in a few days, it is normal to feel anxious at first. My advice would be, if you really feel the same way in , lets say..2 weeks time, then talk to your tutors, SU, and explain how you are feeling. Loneliness is one of the hardest things in life to deal with. Im sure people do not dislike you. You will make friends, it may just take a bit longer. Not everyone hangs around in groups all of the time, I myself particularly wouldn't like to hang around in a group..and maybe they're hanging around in a group to feel safer themselves. The group thing will soon disperse. But anyway..I will have all this to go through myself as I start Uni on Monday. Hope you feel better soon, but if not..speak to other people.
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JTfoxlove
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First year is about survival. It can be really hard and really scary.

Give it time - you can always transfer later. It will get better.

A lot of people pretend or misremember it being the best time ever.

I had to physically force myself to eat for the first two weeks (despite feeling fine), a friend on my floor lost his virginity and caught crabs in the first week (ouch!).

To a certain extent you just need to hang out with people as you can and you'll soon find people you click with. Join some clubs, volunteer for a local charity and perhaps talk to a university councillor.

Good vibes.
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Princepieman
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(Original post by JTfoxlove)
First year is about survival. It can be really hard and really scary.

Give it time - you can always transfer later. It will get better.

A lot of people pretend or misremember it being the best time ever.

I had to physically force myself to eat for the first two weeks (despite feeling fine), a friend on my floor lost his virginity and caught crabs in the first week (ouch!).

To a certain extent you just need to hang out with people as you can and you'll soon find people you click with. Join some clubs, volunteer for a local charity and perhaps talk to a university councillor.

Good vibes.
Can confirm. First year is an absolute emotional rollercoaster - did it twice (*shudders*).



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steamed hams
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youre not entiled to having a good time cos its not a 3 year holiday. sure u can have a social life but for the most part u gotta put hard work in slogging away most days to get the degree. during my 4 years at uni i never truly enjoyed it i liked going on nights out but thats what 4 days of the month at best. and the rest was just dull. but i would say this uni is what u make of it so if u want to have the time of ur life u gotta go make it so
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username2923348
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(Original post by Jaiymes)
Everybody has said that university is the best time of your life, but for me it really isn’t right now. I’ve only been moved in for about a week and I hate my halls and where I live, don’t really click with my flat mates either. I don’t feel happy about the course I’m on. I feel like dropping out because I really am not enjoying myself right now. I’ve tried to make so many friends going out on freshers but everybody seems to know each other around here and are stuck in their groups and feels like they don’t wanna know me. I live quite far away from uni so I don’t know anybody here. Can I change my halls? Or is it worth it transferring to another university closer to home?
As already said, a lot of people feel this way, and it's purely because it is such a monumental change in your life. You can't bail just because something is uncomfortable for you. You're in fight or flight right now because you're unsure of yourself. Stick it out, try and join a society or something, you will make friends trust me, you will be fine.
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TOP_20
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Sorry you are having such a hard time, but honestly it's extremely common to feel that way at first.

Till you start to get to know a few people there - by joining a club, group, organization or study group to start to get to know people - but until then if you start feeling painfully lonely - try 7cups,com they have people to chat with 24/7 and have tons of different specialities - so you can if you want to pick a specilized person, in depression, lonliness, and so on. But if you just want to chat not on anything special they can do that too.
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Mooshi
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I’m more concerned that you are having doubts about your course. please talk to someone. You can possibly change courses. When choosing your course you have such limited information and can choose a course quickly just to allow you to refocus on a levels. Talk to your parents. 3 years to study a course you are not sure/happy about is a long time. There are lots of options..deffering is one...there is a lot to be said of one more year of maturity and just breathing space to decide what you really want to do and where to go. Alevel years are very intense and involves huge decisions. I don’t feel that enough time is given to the choice of what to do next....it’s a rollercoaster!
With regards to friends this will sort itself out once freshers is over and the manic novelty of being at university settles down.
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SofaChillReview
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Personally took me about a month and I hated it as well but I was close to home and went back most weekends

Then after that I loved it, got my head down and made some new friends outside my halls

But see about changing halls but you might not like them some people get put with people they dont like, our mate did in other halls they were all girls

BY THE WAY

Not everyone does like uni and some people struggle, but you shouldn't give up, thing is there are lots of people out there who will help you so please try and live it a bit longer but don't do it in silence, if you feel you are trying to make friends too hard it won't work either

I hope it goes well anyway
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Jaiymes
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Is it worth me going home for a weekend?
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Kaiylar
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This is exactly what I'm feeling. (Except doubts about the course)
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SofaChillReview
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Difficult times I think feeling home sick is natural and can give you a bit of a boost
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HappyBuddah
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Freshers is crap. The other students team up really quickly, until they get to know each other that is, and it makes other people feel left out. These friendship groups will change really quickly, stand back and watch. There are some people who are really friendly, it's just finding them that's the issue. Start chatting to people and see how you go. It's kind of like speed dating, you have to chat to people to find people who you click with. Have you looked into the clubs and socs? You're far more likely to meet people who you'll get along with if you have something in common.

It's still really early days course wise. Let them get over the introduction lectures and see how you feel. You can change it if you want to, they won't mind.
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Paranoid_Glitch
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(Original post by Jaiymes)
Everybody has said that university is the best time of your life, but for me it really isn’t right now. I’ve only been moved in for about a week and I hate my halls and where I live, don’t really click with my flat mates either. I don’t feel happy about the course I’m on. I feel like dropping out because I really am not enjoying myself right now. I’ve tried to make so many friends going out on freshers but everybody seems to know each other around here and are stuck in their groups and feels like they don’t wanna know me. I live quite far away from uni so I don’t know anybody here. Can I change my halls? Or is it worth it transferring to another university closer to home?
You're in a new place with very few relationships and uncertain of what might come from the experience, It's fair to be concerned or afraid and I am too (About to start next week too). With that said, If I've learned anything from my past, It is to not fall into the trap of basing your entire experience from the first few days or weeks. In terms of the FeelsBad stuff, how I've sort of stopped getting anxious is to realize that a few bad days or weeks aren't going be a good indication of my whole university experience, especially when I have 3 to 4 years to take advantage of it.

The best experience I can draw from for anecdotal advice and compare to the above statement is from my time at boarding school. I was a shy and non-talkative guy at a new school surrounded by peers who had known each other for 3+ years and It didn't seem like I could relate to any of them in terms hobbies and personality, but that later on became very untrue.

It was easy for me to feel like I did not belong and I actually started to hate the experience quite a lot from the getgo, but as I started to join certain clubs, started to interact more in classes, started to not be fearful of fitting in (Fearful of the sense that I couldn't fit in by being who i am) and stepping out of my comfort zone to talk to people and spark up honest conversations about who I am and what my interests were, I started to discover so much more of people beyond the surface level perception I had of a few of them. Once that happened, great relationships started to naturally form and my time there easily lent to one of the best experiences of my life. I know It might sound pretentious, but It's something I personally look back on as comfort for the first few weeks of this kind of stuff. Be who you are, and their is a good chance you'll get the experience you might be looking for
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troian
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no one really knows anyone during the first few weeks. friendships are bound to twist and change. don't worry, you will find a group of people that you click with
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Mooshi
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(Original post by Jaiymes)
Is it worth me going home for a weekend?
It might be...but it will make it harder coming back. The friendship groups during freshers will all be superficial. Once lectures start and study groups start true friendships will be made. Please talk to someone how you are feeling.
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TheTroll73
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(Original post by Jaiymes)
Everybody has said that university is the best time of your life, but for me it really isn’t right now. I’ve only been moved in for about a week and I hate my halls and where I live, don’t really click with my flat mates either. I don’t feel happy about the course I’m on. I feel like dropping out because I really am not enjoying myself right now. I’ve tried to make so many friends going out on freshers but everybody seems to know each other around here and are stuck in their groups and feels like they don’t wanna know me. I live quite far away from uni so I don’t know anybody here. Can I change my halls? Or is it worth it transferring to another university closer to home?
nah man you listened to uni propaganda

maybe you'll enjoy it once you are used to the increased adult responsibilities

also are you in uni to have fun or to get that degree?

I hope it's the latter or you are losing your $$$
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AmyJ
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After my own Freshers Week (years ago now!), I just remember sitting in my room, calling my best friend back home and crying. I went out a lot with different groups of people, couldn't find anyone to "click" with, hated my halls which always flooded and poorly maintained, and had no money. All I can say is that this will pass - I found friends through my course, through societies, but it took a month at least. People who seem to have 50 friends by the end of Freshers Week will probably never see those people again - I never did, in 3 years.
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PQ
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(Original post by Jaiymes)
Is it worth me going home for a weekend?
It’s worth planning a trip home - maybe in October. If you go home within a week of starting it will only make it tougher to settle in. That’s a weekend away when you could meet your new best friend, find a job, join a club, try a new sport etc etc.
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