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So this is whats happening

I've never posted anything lie this but i just started uni and everything is going good. My flatmates are nice, the couple people on my course I met have been really lovely but i haven't managed to make any good friends yet. So many people i see look like they have been best friends forever and i really don't know how to get to that stage. I have social anxiety and i have been trying my best but i feel like people just don't want to get to know me? Also another problem is that i'm only 17 so cant go to pubs or clubs which is stopping me from meeting lots of new people that i had been chatting to on the group chats before uni. The first night i went an met some people at pres but went home after because they were going to the pub which was nice. Another thing is that i was speaking to some people on the group chats that i seemed to have a lot in common with, and then when i met them they just blanked me and said nothing. I tried to have a conversation but honestly it wasn't going well. I just need some advice please, I have joined some societies so i'm hoping to meet some people. On my course i know a few people but i feel like they don't like me/don't want me standing around them but i know no one else and my anxiety is stopping me from introducing myself. Its gotten so bad over the week i haven't ate in about 4 days now since i got to uni other that a few slices of pizza. I feel like once people get to know me i'm quite bubbly, but it seems like people just don't want to get to know me. I have tried to introduce myself to people. Idk what to do
Reply 1
Maybe i'm just a boring person and people can see that when they look at me. i dont know what to do, should i keep trying with the people i kinda know but i dont know if they like me? I feel like they must like me because when i was talking on group chats i feel like i was beginning to become good friends with one of them and having jokes and everything. maybe in person im a completely different person and i dont notice? or should i just try getting to know some other people which would be hard. Also what can i talk about? I'm awful at starting conversations please help
Reply 2
Bump
Well your joining societies so that's a good start
And plus you should eat!!!It's important.
I'm sure you'll find amazing friends.
Reply 4
Hey, has your uni course actually started yet? And maybe they actually do like you and your just being paranoid? trust me, they probably dont mind you hanging out with them so just play it out and if they make it obvious they dont like you then maybe back off but im sure theyll love you once you come out your shell!
Also maybe try making friends with people from a different course? like just go to a place you like, look for a person who you think would be fun to hang out with and introduce yourself, if you're too shy then maybe just start with a hey!
Also, GO EAT SOME PROPER FOOD! If you're going to uni and your tryna make friends youe gonna be stressing a lot and not eating properly isnt gonna help you, so just go have a nice meal and relax for a day or two before you worry again. block the world out if you have to.
ALso, may i ask, how are you at uni if your only 17?
Good luck! Hope this helped!
Reply 5
Original post by mini.me
Hey, has your uni course actually started yet? And maybe they actually do like you and your just being paranoid? trust me, they probably dont mind you hanging out with them so just play it out and if they make it obvious they dont like you then maybe back off but im sure theyll love you once you come out your shell!
Also maybe try making friends with people from a different course? like just go to a place you like, look for a person who you think would be fun to hang out with and introduce yourself, if you're too shy then maybe just start with a hey!
Also, GO EAT SOME PROPER FOOD! If you're going to uni and your tryna make friends youe gonna be stressing a lot and not eating properly isnt gonna help you, so just go have a nice meal and relax for a day or two before you worry again. block the world out if you have to.
ALso, may i ask, how are you at uni if your only 17?
Good luck! Hope this helped!


Thank you so much! My course hasn't started yet but we ave been having introduction lectures during freshers so i got to meet a lot of my course mates. I also live on the smaller accommodation site which is the opposite side to the other so not many people to make friends with (theres still three blocks but most people seem to be in friend groups already and i dont want to intrude on that). Also im at uni because im from scotland so its normal to go to uni when your 17, sometimes even 16. However im going to a uni where most people are english so they are all 18. I was thinking of taking a gap year and getting a job but i would rather graduate a year early and get a head start on my career.
Reply 6
I bump... it is all false.
Reply 7
Original post by Vinny C
I bump... it is all false.


What do you mean?
Reply 8
More info i am a girl, im super introverted but when i get to know people i feel like i can be really extroverted at times. I just feel like people don't like me already without even knowing me. I haven't done anything bad and when people do speak to me they seem really nice. Maybe i just give off bad vibes and dont notice it or am i being super paranoid? Like this one guy i was talking to loads on group chats and we had some jokes and everything and we got on super well and made plans to walk to lectures together because we are both doing similar courses. Then when i met him he completely blanked me and didn't even say hi when i introduced myself. He just kinda stared at me whilst i started talking to another two girls who i knew from group chats who were standing with him and then he would talk to them and exclude me from the conversation. I know i didn't really say much during the conversation but that was just because i had just met them all and i feel like they knew that and were okay with it. I feel like he just doesn't like me and i dont know why. If i knew why i could change but i just dont. idk what to do or if im being paranoid but i thought we would be friends but obviously not
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you so much! My course hasn't started yet but we ave been having introduction lectures during freshers so i got to meet a lot of my course mates. I also live on the smaller accommodation site which is the opposite side to the other so not many people to make friends with (theres still three blocks but most people seem to be in friend groups already and i dont want to intrude on that). Also im at uni because im from scotland so its normal to go to uni when your 17, sometimes even 16. However im going to a uni where most people are english so they are all 18. I was thinking of taking a gap year and getting a job but i would rather graduate a year early and get a head start on my career.


Oh ok that helps a lot, and your from scotland, cool! As for intruding on friendships, dont be scared to! seriuosly they probably will mind at first but when they get to know you theyll love you, im sure!
Original post by Anonymous
More info i am a girl, im super introverted but when i get to know people i feel like i can be really extroverted at times. I just feel like people don't like me already without even knowing me. I haven't done anything bad and when people do speak to me they seem really nice. Maybe i just give off bad vibes and dont notice it or am i being super paranoid? Like this one guy i was talking to loads on group chats and we had some jokes and everything and we got on super well and made plans to walk to lectures together because we are both doing similar courses. Then when i met him he completely blanked me and didn't even say hi when i introduced myself. He just kinda stared at me whilst i started talking to another two girls who i knew from group chats who were standing with him and then he would talk to them and exclude me from the conversation. I know i didn't really say much during the conversation but that was just because i had just met them all and i feel like they knew that and were okay with it. I feel like he just doesn't like me and i dont know why. If i knew why i could change but i just dont. idk what to do or if im being paranoid but i thought we would be friends but obviously not


Maybe ask him why he ignored you? and how about keep on trying with the girls but talk a bit more?
and dw a lot of people are introverted outwardly but extroverted once theyre familiar with you!
Original post by Anonymous
What do you mean?


Human nature... few of us are altruistic. 300 yrs ago you could dispose of those you didn't like. Now, we just be nasty to them.
Original post by mini.me
Maybe ask him why he ignored you? and how about keep on trying with the girls but talk a bit more?
and dw a lot of people are introverted outwardly but extroverted once theyre familiar with you!


I have no clue why he ignored me though. We had a lecture thing and i was waiting outside with this other girl and and he messaged me saying we should meet up because we were in the same place. I went and walked up to him after finding where he was and introduced myself and he didn't even say Hey. He was the one who wanted to meet up so dont understand what i did wrong. I have walked with the other two girls to lectures for the past two days after meeting them and they seem nice. He was always walking with them too but he keeps completely blanking me even when im in conversation with the other girls. I really do hope i find good friends soon though and thanks so much for your help!!
Original post by Anonymous
I have no clue why he ignored me though. We had a lecture thing and i was waiting outside with this other girl and and he messaged me saying we should meet up because we were in the same place. I went and walked up to him after finding where he was and introduced myself and he didn't even say Hey. He was the one who wanted to meet up so dont understand what i did wrong. I have walked with the other two girls to lectures for the past two days after meeting them and they seem nice. He was always walking with them too but he keeps completely blanking me even when im in conversation with the other girls. I really do hope i find good friends soon though and thanks so much for your help!!


Awww, well keep it up with the other girls, they sound like they could be really nice. And sometimes a little confrontation is all a person needs to sort them out? maybe text him n ask why he ignores you? i doubt its cus he doesnt like you?
PS what uni course are you doing?
Original post by mini.me
Awww, well keep it up with the other girls, they sound like they could be really nice. And sometimes a little confrontation is all a person needs to sort them out? maybe text him n ask why he ignores you? i doubt its cus he doesnt like you?
PS what uni course are you doing?


I'm doing Zoology! I really love the course and the uni but the fact that im finding it hard to make friends is making me think it isnt worth it. I won't drop out or anything because i do truly love the course but i just hope i can find a friend group soon. Maybe once all the clubbing and parties die down after freshers i can get to know people more.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm doing Zoology! I really love the course and the uni but the fact that im finding it hard to make friends is making me think it isnt worth it. I won't drop out or anything because i do truly love the course but i just hope i can find a friend group soon. Maybe once all the clubbing and parties die down after freshers i can get to know people more.


Oh cool! Zoology sounds awesome! And yh maybe once uni actually starts there will be more people to befriend!
Good luck with everything!

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