The Student Room Group

Anxiety at Univeristy

I've suffered with undiagnosed anxiety since I was about 13 years old but since I've hit my 20s I've been able to deal with it a little better but it's partially because of my anxiety that I've put off going to uni until now. In the last few months I've felt almost no anxiety about starting University, the first day was fine, I've met some people on my course and seem to get in okay with them, but since then I've had a huge fear of going into the kitchen. My hall is relatively quiet and I've only met two flat mates, both of which are very awkward to talk to, but I'm terrified of using the kitchen in case someone is in there, I freak out if people watch me do things like cooking or anything. On top of that I went to the freshers fair today, I was going to go with a couple of people I had met on the first day but they decided to go without me and tell me once they were already there, so I rushed down there by myself hoping to meet with them before they leave but the queue was huge, so I waited in the queue while frantically messaging them and they didn't even reply, I got into the hall and felt so overwhelmed and started to have an anxiety attack, the first one I've had in years, I kept trying to find some societies I wanted to join but as I approached the tables I'd lose all confidence and try and move on, in the end I decided to make it around as quickly as possible and get back to my room to cry. And all I can think about is how I didn't get to sign up to anything I'd planned to and how let down I feel that the people I wanted to go with to help me with my confidence didn't even bother to wait for me.

I've been in my room for six hours with the curtains drawn watching netflix and every time I think about getting up to make some food I freak out and can't do it. I've not felt this bad for so long and I don't know how to deal with it.
I'm going through basically the same thing right now. I just started uni 4 days ago and haven't eaten since i got here other than a slice of pizza because i'm so stressed and anxious i have no appetite. Just know that your not the only one and it should turn out good. My anxiety got really bad today so i decided to get away from it all and just go to the cinema alone. I know its lame to do that during freshers and everything but honestly i needed it and i felt so much more like myself during that movie than i had in the past few days. Im also 17 so i cant go to pubs and clubs which has stopped me from meeting new people. The thing that is really make my anxiety go through the roof is that i feel like no one likes me. I feel like im boring and no one wants to get to know me. I guess i am boring until people get to know me because my anxiety stops me from being myself, or am i just a boring person idk? I wish we were at the same uni because we could just be anxious together because honestly im going through the same thing rn. Just try to get out there, I'm just going to force myself into situations like staying with people who i know probably think im boring and a nuisance to them for just standing there but at least im trying right? and if they really hate me then they can make it clear and i'll leave. One of the people on my course i thought was really nice. like i had been messaging him a lot on group chats and we had jokes and everything, then when i met him he just blanked me? like completely and he was with two other girls (im a girl btw) and i had a nice chat with them but he just excluded me. Im sorry im not really answering your question or giving advice but i just wanted to let you know its normal (well not normal but you know) and other people are in the same problem. Just focus on your work. Also if you get up early you can make breakfast and sit in the kitchen and wait for people to come in. i always feel better when people walk in and chat to me in group rather than me walking into a huge group of people in the kitchen who have already been talking. I hope this makes you feel better :smile: wow this is long sorry lol
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
I'm going through basically the same thing right now. I just started uni 4 days ago and haven't eaten since i got here other than a slice of pizza because i'm so stressed and anxious i have no appetite. Just know that your not the only one and it should turn out good. My anxiety got really bad today so i decided to get away from it all and just go to the cinema alone. I know its lame to do that during freshers and everything but honestly i needed it and i felt so much more like myself during that movie than i had in the past few days. Im also 17 so i cant go to pubs and clubs which has stopped me from meeting new people. The thing that is really make my anxiety go through the roof is that i feel like no one likes me. I feel like im boring and no one wants to get to know me. I guess i am boring until people get to know me because my anxiety stops me from being myself, or am i just a boring person idk? I wish we were at the same uni because we could just be anxious together because honestly im going through the same thing rn. Just try to get out there, I'm just going to force myself into situations like staying with people who i know probably think im boring and a nuisance to them for just standing there but at least im trying right? and if they really hate me then they can make it clear and i'll leave. One of the people on my course i thought was really nice. like i had been messaging him a lot on group chats and we had jokes and everything, then when i met him he just blanked me? like completely and he was with two other girls (im a girl btw) and i had a nice chat with them but he just excluded me. Im sorry im not really answering your question or giving advice but i just wanted to let you know its normal (well not normal but you know) and other people are in the same problem. Just focus on your work. Also if you get up early you can make breakfast and sit in the kitchen and wait for people to come in. i always feel better when people walk in and chat to me in group rather than me walking into a huge group of people in the kitchen who have already been talking. I hope this makes you feel better :smile: wow this is long sorry lol

I know exactly how you feel about people thinking you're boring! Part of me knows I'm not because the people that know me best genuinely like me and when I'm out of my shell I've got a great sense of humour and a lot of interesting hobbies/interests, but I've not been able to share that with people here yet which makes me think that everyone I meet thinks I'm boring and tries to avoid me. As for meeting people in the kitchen, my social anxiety goes crazy with the thought of anyone being in the kitchen or even walking in when I'm already there (although last night after a uni social I'd drank a lot more than I usually would and felt confident enough to go to the kitchen without a second thought)
live been in the kitchen three times since starting on Sunday and that was just to make small things like pot noodle and pasta so I've hardly eaten properly all week and more I think about it the worse I feel. I'm god I'm not the only one though and I hope you feel better too, good luck to you!
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
I'm going through basically the same thing right now. I just started uni 4 days ago and haven't eaten since i got here other than a slice of pizza because i'm so stressed and anxious i have no appetite. Just know that your not the only one and it should turn out good. My anxiety got really bad today so i decided to get away from it all and just go to the cinema alone. I know its lame to do that during freshers and everything but honestly i needed it and i felt so much more like myself during that movie than i had in the past few days. Im also 17 so i cant go to pubs and clubs which has stopped me from meeting new people. The thing that is really make my anxiety go through the roof is that i feel like no one likes me. I feel like im boring and no one wants to get to know me. I guess i am boring until people get to know me because my anxiety stops me from being myself, or am i just a boring person idk? I wish we were at the same uni because we could just be anxious together because honestly im going through the same thing rn. Just try to get out there, I'm just going to force myself into situations like staying with people who i know probably think im boring and a nuisance to them for just standing there but at least im trying right? and if they really hate me then they can make it clear and i'll leave. One of the people on my course i thought was really nice. like i had been messaging him a lot on group chats and we had jokes and everything, then when i met him he just blanked me? like completely and he was with two other girls (im a girl btw) and i had a nice chat with them but he just excluded me. Im sorry im not really answering your question or giving advice but i just wanted to let you know its normal (well not normal but you know) and other people are in the same problem. Just focus on your work. Also if you get up early you can make breakfast and sit in the kitchen and wait for people to come in. i always feel better when people walk in and chat to me in group rather than me walking into a huge group of people in the kitchen who have already been talking. I hope this makes you feel better :smile: wow this is long sorry lol


Sorry about the typos in my last post!
Just to give some practical advice, many societies will be on Facebook or have an email you can message so don’t worry about having not signed up, just message them and let them know you’d like to sign up and I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to :smile:

Regarding your anxiety in general, I would really recommend using your uni support/welfare services so that they can provide some help, even if it’s just tips on how to approach your flatmates and make that relationship a little easier.

Try and do baby steps, if you could get to the kitchen, even just to get a drink, then that would be great. Then, pop to the kitchen to get a quick snack, or a full meal if you feel up to it. I know your anxiety may not let you do this, but try and take a little walk around your local area, literally just by your accommodation, so you feel more aware of what’s around you and hopefully feel more comfortable.

You’ve done really well so far, so just try and take these baby steps and hopefully this sudden wave of anxiety will reduce as you get more accustomed to uni life. But please utilise your welfare support - they’re there to help :smile:
I Just feel like im so boring, like yeah i do know i'm probably not but when im in a group of people i dont usually talk, like i know i should but i just cant think f anything, or if i do say something its like they completely focus on me and i dont really like that but i guess i just have to deal with it. Ive never been properly diagnosed with anxiety but ive been to doctors and therapists so i most likely have it. Good luck to you too at uni! Im sure after a couple weeks we'll have both hopefully found a group of people who want to get to know us! Also with the kitchen think just remember its your kitchen too! Ive walked into my kitchen loads of times and just said hi, they say nothing so i just get on with it. I know they are probably texting someone about how awkward i am but right now i dont care. Just do you and people will come to you naturally. I wish i could take my advice im giving to you now but i know how are it is but you can do it! Just push yourself out there and dont care about what people think of you. If they dont like you then you have a whole uni full of people. Also after the first couple weeks peoples true personalities come out so if some people seem nice now they may not in a week or two. If theres a group of people just walk in say hi and cook some stuff. I know how hard this is trust me and i probably couldn't do it but once you do it once its fine.
Reply 6
Original post by BlueEyedGirl_
Just to give some practical advice, many societies will be on Facebook or have an email you can message so don’t worry about having not signed up, just message them and let them know you’d like to sign up and I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to :smile:

Regarding your anxiety in general, I would really recommend using your uni support/welfare services so that they can provide some help, even if it’s just tips on how to approach your flatmates and make that relationship a little easier.

Try and do baby steps, if you could get to the kitchen, even just to get a drink, then that would be great. Then, pop to the kitchen to get a quick snack, or a full meal if you feel up to it. I know your anxiety may not let you do this, but try and take a little walk around your local area, literally just by your accommodation, so you feel more aware of what’s around you and hopefully feel more comfortable.

You’ve done really well so far, so just try and take these baby steps and hopefully this sudden wave of anxiety will reduce as you get more accustomed to uni life. But please utilise your welfare support - they’re there to help :smile:

Oh that's really good to know, there were some societies I so wanted to join but their tables were so crowded.
I had originally mentioned on my forms that I have anxiety but I decided to not follow up on any offers of assistance because as I said I had been feeling almost no anxiety in the last few months before starting uni, but I will probably get in touch with the support team.
I'm thinking of trying to cook something small tonight probably in the next hour or so, thank you for the advise, I'm just waiting for my puffy eyes to go down before I leave my room.
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
I Just feel like im so boring, like yeah i do know i'm probably not but when im in a group of people i dont usually talk, like i know i should but i just cant think f anything, or if i do say something its like they completely focus on me and i dont really like that but i guess i just have to deal with it. Ive never been properly diagnosed with anxiety but ive been to doctors and therapists so i most likely have it. Good luck to you too at uni! Im sure after a couple weeks we'll have both hopefully found a group of people who want to get to know us! Also with the kitchen think just remember its your kitchen too! Ive walked into my kitchen loads of times and just said hi, they say nothing so i just get on with it. I know they are probably texting someone about how awkward i am but right now i dont care. Just do you and people will come to you naturally. I wish i could take my advice im giving to you now but i know how are it is but you can do it! Just push yourself out there and dont care about what people think of you. If they dont like you then you have a whole uni full of people. Also after the first couple weeks peoples true personalities come out so if some people seem nice now they may not in a week or two. If theres a group of people just walk in say hi and cook some stuff. I know how hard this is trust me and i probably couldn't do it but once you do it once its fine.

Oh I know what you mean about not being able to follow your own advice, but thank you I'll try and you're so right about it being MY kitchen as well, I guess since I was last to move my kitchen stuff in I feel like it's not mine at all, but that's a good point and does make me feel a little more at ease using it as I would use my own home kitchen.
i lived on halls 1st year and 4th year and had the same stuff u guys mention the scared to leave room cos dont know who there the unable to eat cos no appetite etc. but that all wears off in a week or 2. my advice would be dont avoid things cos it builds anxiety then when that thing happens it feels worse
Hope this helps:

1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, you have got as much right as everyone else.

Think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily. Relax.

Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

6) Ask how they are, how's everything,how's it going, what's the latest, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening.

Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,

Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

7) Be passionate about life.

9) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

Hope this helps!
Join some societies online or via email. Don't miss out! Keeping busy and making more friends will also help your confidence.

Connect with the support services in case you can't get a handle on this.

Try and make sure you eat even if it's sandwiches in your room, being weak and tired will make your anxiety harder to fight.

Also really try and start using the kitchen, if you don't you might lose your space and you'll just build it up into a big thing, which it isn't. Start with small things at off peak times and progress from there. Hanging our with your flatmates might help too.
Hi friend,
I'm sorry that you're going through this. College can be tough at first because it's a different environment then what you're used to. It's like a whole new world. My first day was really awkward. I remember losing my dorm key and having to walk all over campus to get a new one. On top of that, I lost the only money that I had. I guess I was nervous and felt out of place. But, after awhile, college started to get so much better! I'm now going back to college online as an adult student, reminiscing about the fun I had on campus. There's a lot of different personalities there, but rest assured that you're not the only one feeling this way. It may take some time getting use to, but your experience will change. I always had to walk pass groups of flirtatious guys and mean girls that didn't like me, but I stopped caring about what they thought of me. I made some friends and tried to just enjoy my college experience... I hope that things get better and that you find the confidence to try new things. You can do it if you keep trying! I believe that these feelings will change soon. :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
I've suffered with undiagnosed anxiety since I was about 13 years old but since I've hit my 20s I've been able to deal with it a little better but it's partially because of my anxiety that I've put off going to uni until now. In the last few months I've felt almost no anxiety about starting University, the first day was fine, I've met some people on my course and seem to get in okay with them, but since then I've had a huge fear of going into the kitchen. My hall is relatively quiet and I've only met two flat mates, both of which are very awkward to talk to, but I'm terrified of using the kitchen in case someone is in there, I freak out if people watch me do things like cooking or anything. On top of that I went to the freshers fair today, I was going to go with a couple of people I had met on the first day but they decided to go without me and tell me once they were already there, so I rushed down there by myself hoping to meet with them before they leave but the queue was huge, so I waited in the queue while frantically messaging them and they didn't even reply, I got into the hall and felt so overwhelmed and started to have an anxiety attack, the first one I've had in years, I kept trying to find some societies I wanted to join but as I approached the tables I'd lose all confidence and try and move on, in the end I decided to make it around as quickly as possible and get back to my room to cry. And all I can think about is how I didn't get to sign up to anything I'd planned to and how let down I feel that the people I wanted to go with to help me with my confidence didn't even bother to wait for me.

I've been in my room for six hours with the curtains drawn watching netflix and every time I think about getting up to make some food I freak out and can't do it. I've not felt this bad for so long and I don't know how to deal with it.


I relate to this completely. Feel free to PM me. Also, what uni do you go to?
Original post by Anonymous
I've suffered with undiagnosed anxiety since I was about 13 years old but since I've hit my 20s I've been able to deal with it a little better but it's partially because of my anxiety that I've put off going to uni until now. In the last few months I've felt almost no anxiety about starting University, the first day was fine, I've met some people on my course and seem to get in okay with them, but since then I've had a huge fear of going into the kitchen. My hall is relatively quiet and I've only met two flat mates, both of which are very awkward to talk to, but I'm terrified of using the kitchen in case someone is in there, I freak out if people watch me do things like cooking or anything. On top of that I went to the freshers fair today, I was going to go with a couple of people I had met on the first day but they decided to go without me and tell me once they were already there, so I rushed down there by myself hoping to meet with them before they leave but the queue was huge, so I waited in the queue while frantically messaging them and they didn't even reply, I got into the hall and felt so overwhelmed and started to have an anxiety attack, the first one I've had in years, I kept trying to find some societies I wanted to join but as I approached the tables I'd lose all confidence and try and move on, in the end I decided to make it around as quickly as possible and get back to my room to cry. And all I can think about is how I didn't get to sign up to anything I'd planned to and how let down I feel that the people I wanted to go with to help me with my confidence didn't even bother to wait for me.

I've been in my room for six hours with the curtains drawn watching netflix and every time I think about getting up to make some food I freak out and can't do it. I've not felt this bad for so long and I don't know how to deal with it.

hi there, I'm basically going through exactly the same thing. Im a 1st year who lives in a flat with 13 people and theres a big group of them who seem to spend all their time in the kitchen. Theyre all very extroverted, whereas I'm introverted with anxiety so I keep avoiding the kitchen and have been binge watching netflix and eating at 11:30 for the past two weeks. My freshers faire was exactly the same, my flatmates all seperated from me so I had to wander through freshers faire alone and got super panicky and ended up having an anxiety attack in the toilets. I hope its gotten much better for you these past few weeks and it's gotten easier, but just thought I'd say that you arent the only one who feels like this about going into the kitchen.:smile:

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