Does he just wanna smash

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
To start, I have no experience with dudes whatsoever (went to an all girls school). I started Uni recently and asked a dude for his number - looking back on it, he may have misinterpreted this as me asking him out (although I stated quite explicitly that I was "trying to gather as many new contacts as possible). Since then, he has been constantly texting me, asking if I want to meet up somewhere. This shouldn't be such a big deal, but seeing as I don't know much about guys, I am nervous. Secondly, it's a bit odd to me that he's already offering to "give me lifts" in the mornings and is so insistent on finding a time to meet up, especially as I've only spoken to him like for two minutes in total. I've so far just been telling him that I'm busy as it's freshers week, but I've also started feeling guilty.

He SEEMS like a nice guy, lots of emojis and stuff in his texts lmao, but he has this very "cool" front which I find difficult. Usually, I find it hard to get along with and chat with people unless they are very chatty themselves (as I'm very shy and introverted), so I sort of picture an outing with him to be kind of awkward.

I don't want to make this generalization about guys, but his pace is sort of making me wonder what his intentions are? I wouldn't mind being friends at all, but a relationship... not yet...?
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London090
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#2
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#2
Well he doesn't seem to be very harmful, just be careful maybe if you decide to grab a coffee with him or something bring a friend along or ask your friends to follow you to make sure you're okay From then you can tell what he wants, but DON'T take a ride from him alone please just don't he could easily kidnap you or something and you don't know him very well.

Good luck and be careful!
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Anonymous #1
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I forgot to mention that I turned him down again today, I'm very conflicted because i feel guilty, and I would like to know him better, I don't really want him to "give up" on me, but i just don't want to be in a relationship with him?
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mharo
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He just want to make friends with you, that's all, don't over think.
Gather more friends as you can, and let him see you going out with other guys. You'll see...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mharo)
He just want to make friends with you, that's all, don't over think.
Gather more friends as you can, and let him see you going out with other guys. You'll see...
Yeah definitely, it's just weird to me because when I've told him multiple times that I'll see him around in lectures anyway (same course) he still insists that we go somewhere....?
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Anonymous #2
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hes either very nice or really likes you if so make things very clear with him. friendzone him and see how he reacts.
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Ben878
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Get to know his intentions first if he's interested in a relationship (just friendship it's not so bad), you're on the right track I think. You just have to be watchful and observe. To be safe I would limit larger favours, so you aren't put in a bad position later - don't get too close, but if you want to know him don't get too distant

Never feel guilty turning 'out of the blue' offers down, it's nice for them to be accepted, but you are certainly not obliged to accept them


Take care
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mharo
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah definitely, it's just weird to me because when I've told him multiple times that I'll see him around in lectures anyway (same course) he still insists that we go somewhere....?
Does he have any other friends? Or is he being fixated in you?
Try dragging one of your other friends with you if he tells you to go somewhere with him.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hes either very nice or really likes you if so make things very clear with him. friendzone him and see how he reacts.
thats honestly what I'm trying to do, but I don't know how he's so keen on properly going out somewhere, whereas I was hoping to just chat a bit during lectures or smth. But at the rate that it's going now, I think he's losing interest lmao, he literally just texted me "It's ok, I'm being too pushy anyway"

I feel AWFUL.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by mharo)
Does he have any other friends? Or is he being fixated in you?
Try dragging one of your other friends with you if he tells you to go somewhere with him.
I honestly don't know, he's quite elusive so I hardly see him around. Saw him today standing with someone, but I couldn't tell if they were teachers or other freshers
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Anonymous #2
#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
thats honestly what I'm trying to do, but I don't know how he's so keen on properly going out somewhere, whereas I was hoping to just chat a bit during lectures or smth. But at the rate that it's going now, I think he's losing interest lmao, he literally just texted me "It's ok, I'm being too pushy anyway"

I feel AWFUL.
does he specifically ask to go out with you by himself or with friends?
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FakeNewsEditor
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#12
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It seems every week there's a few threads about girls giving their numbers to guys and then wondering why they're texting them :sigh:.

From what you said, it sounds that he likes you. If you don't, let him know and then possibly avoid contact unless you guys are still comfortable being friends (that's possible too).

It's no brain surgery.
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Yalinetyli
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(Original post by Anonymous)
To start, I have no experience with dudes whatsoever (went to an all girls school). I started Uni recently and asked a dude for his number - looking back on it, he may have misinterpreted this as me asking him out (although I stated quite explicitly that I was "trying to gather as many new contacts as possible). Since then, he has been constantly texting me, asking if I want to meet up somewhere. This shouldn't be such a big deal, but seeing as I don't know much about guys, I am nervous. Secondly, it's a bit odd to me that he's already offering to "give me lifts" in the mornings and is so insistent on finding a time to meet up, especially as I've only spoken to him like for two minutes in total. I've so far just been telling him that I'm busy as it's freshers week, but I've also started feeling guilty.

He SEEMS like a nice guy, lots of emojis and stuff in his texts lmao, but he has this very "cool" front which I find difficult. Usually, I find it hard to get along with and chat with people unless they are very chatty themselves (as I'm very shy and introverted), so I sort of picture an outing with him to be kind of awkward.

I don't want to make this generalization about guys, but his pace is sort of making me wonder what his intentions are? I wouldn't mind being friends at all, but a relationship... not yet...?
He wants either a relationship or one night stand or sex with benefits. 99% that he is not down for just friendship. And if you are not cool with it, it is best to explain your position to him.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by FakeNewsEditor)
It seems every week there's a few threads about girls giving their numbers to guys and then wondering why they're texting them :sigh:.

From what you said, it sounds that he likes you. If you don't, let him know and then possibly avoid contact unless you guys are still comfortable being friends (that's possible too).

It's no brain surgery.
Thanks for the advice! I Spose so, but to be fair if a guy came up to me and literally said “can I get your number, I’m trying to meet as many people as possible thos week” it wouldn’t cross my mind that he was looking for a romantic relationship lmao..
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FakeNewsEditor
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for the advice! I Spose so, but to be fair if a guy came up to me and literally said “can I get your number, I’m trying to meet as many people as possible thos week” it wouldn’t cross my mind that he was looking for a romantic relationship lmao..
:rofl: did you actually say that to him...?
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rockrunride
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An 18-year-old male would absolutely never ask a girl for her number if he'd only spoken to her a few times, unless he wanted to get laid. This is why your approach confused him - because women generally don't make such assumptions immediately.

Hell, any chap that generally ever asks a lass for her number wants it.
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Anonymous #1
#17
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(Original post by FakeNewsEditor)
:rofl: did you actually say that to him...?
I did, literally told him that I was making friends during freshers and that I was trying to get everyone’s contacts
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Anonymous #1
#18
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(Original post by rockrunride)
An 18-year-old male would absolutely never ask a girl for her number if he'd only spoken to her a few times, unless he wanted to get laid. This is why your approach confused him - because women generally don't make such assumptions immediately.

Hell, any chap that generally ever asks a lass for her number wants it.
So... he thinks I want to get laid?
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FakeNewsEditor
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
I did, literally told him that I was making friends during freshers and that I was trying to get everyone’s contacts
Then you have no reason to feel guilty. If he keeps spamming you, just let him know, once again, that you're only interested in making acquaintances and that you don't really like him. If he doesn't understand, just ignore him, there's nothing to discuss anymore.

(Original post by Anonymous)
So... he thinks I want to get laid?
I'd have said 100% yeah but since you went to him and literally said "Im just spamming ppl to make friends" then no. However, he definitely thinks you may wanna **** him if he shows you he likes you.
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AnharM
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#20
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(Original post by Anonymous)
To start, I have no experience with dudes whatsoever (went to an all girls school). I started Uni recently and asked a dude for his number - looking back on it, he may have misinterpreted this as me asking him out (although I stated quite explicitly that I was "trying to gather as many new contacts as possible). Since then, he has been constantly texting me, asking if I want to meet up somewhere. This shouldn't be such a big deal, but seeing as I don't know much about guys, I am nervous. Secondly, it's a bit odd to me that he's already offering to "give me lifts" in the mornings and is so insistent on finding a time to meet up, especially as I've only spoken to him like for two minutes in total. I've so far just been telling him that I'm busy as it's freshers week, but I've also started feeling guilty.

He SEEMS like a nice guy, lots of emojis and stuff in his texts lmao, but he has this very "cool" front which I find difficult. Usually, I find it hard to get along with and chat with people unless they are very chatty themselves (as I'm very shy and introverted), so I sort of picture an outing with him to be kind of awkward.

I don't want to make this generalization about guys, but his pace is sort of making me wonder what his intentions are? I wouldn't mind being friends at all, but a relationship... not yet...?
How have you only spoken to him for 2 minutes in total and already asking for his number? LOOOOOOOOOOL
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