Would you give your sibling £1400? And trust them? If they needed it? Watch

Anonymous #1
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So I'm going to ask for my sister for £1400 or ask to take out a loan because I need it badly and I won't tell why. I need it by Friday midnight. I'm one year older than her.

I do owe her some money which I haven't paid back.

I think she'll say no.

But she can trust me because:

-I've got a job now starting Monday (I tried applying on payday loans but they reject me)
-I easily get jobs and she knows it
-She can take my debit card and take out £150 per week! She can trust me because I give her my debit card!

Also for other reasons is because I've had a hard life, on a humane level I went through suffering-I couldn't talk properly for 22 years had a speech disorder, I got bullied all my life and more etc.

Honestly if it was my sister asking for me and I had a £32k job like my sister has I'd have no problems giving it and I think because she's in a job and giving me her debit card (if it was the other way around that she was asking me for that amount) I would have given it.
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Pidge Gunderson
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At least tell her why. It's your sister.
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SoulfulTwist
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No. Not unless they tell me why at the very least.
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Anonymous #1
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I will tell her why but I won't share the why here.
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Anonymous #1
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So I'm going to ask for my sister for £1400 or ask to take out a loan because I need it badly and I won't tell why. I need it by Friday midnight. I'm one year older than her and she's on 32k before taxes.

I will her why I need it, but I won't say the why here.

I do owe her some money which I haven't paid back.

I think she'll say no.

But she can trust me because:

-I've got a job now starting Monday (I tried applying on payday loans but they reject me)
-I easily get jobs and she knows it
-She can take my debit card and take out £150 per week! She can trust me because I give her my debit card!

Also for other reasons is because I've had a hard life, on a humane level I went through suffering-I couldn't talk properly for 22 years had a speech disorder, I got bullied all my life and more etc.

Honestly if it was my sister asking for me and I had a £32k job like my sister has I'd have no problems giving it and I think because she's in a job and giving me her debit card (if it was the other way around that she was asking me for that amount) I would have given it.
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Acsel
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Someone having a £32K job doesn't mean you are entitled to money from them.

You already owe money and haven't paid back. For me, this is an instant "you don't get any more money" flag.

Giving away your debit card is not insurance, not a smart thing to do and doesn't make sense on the above point for why you didn't pay back.

Being able to easily get jobs should not be a good thing. It means you have to get many jobs, which suggests you aren't holding down a job for long. It should not be easy to get jobs because you shouldn't need to be switching jobs that often.

£1400 is a lot of money, to outright not tell why makes it seem exceedingly suspicious. I can't think of a good reason to suddenly need so much money and for some reason be unwilling to tell your own family about it.

It's unfortunate that you've had a hard life, but that's not justification to give you money.

So to answer the question, yes. I'd loan a sibling £1400 if I trusted them. But not paying back previous debt, needing the money fast, not being able to tell why, they're all flags that would mean I don't trust them. I'd loan them £1400 if they needed it but if a sibling came to me with the information in your post, they wouldn't be getting a penny. I'd help them, find out the problem and do what I can about it because family. But I wouldn't just give them the money, no questions asked.
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Reality Check
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I do owe her some money which I haven't paid back.

I think she'll say no.
You correctly identified why she is right to say 'no'. Which is what she will do.

Would you lend more money to someone who has defaulted on a previous debt with you? Would anyone?
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DrawTheLine
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How much money do you already owe her?
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Anonymous #1
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I can also pay the past money back which to be fair because I haven't is a red flag however I'll give my debit card this time.

I didn't mean just because she has a 32k job means I am entitled to free money. I didn't want to ask her, I already said I tried to get a payday loan.

As for the jobs, I got a warehouse job 1 hour drive away and my father told me not to go since driving on the motorway at night is hard, he's the one who made me quit it.

Also I got another job where i have to catch the bus twice waking up at 4am and coming back 2.5 hours later because the buses run every 1 hour. It wasn't practical so I quit it.

Now I've got another job which is an easy bus catch there and back. So easily getting jobs is a good thing in my opinion for these reasons.

Also giving my debit card so they can take out £150 per week is a good thing.

I hope the fact I got a job and give her my debit card can tilt things in my favour and I will tell her the reason, however it is up to her. But I would have in the sense she was my sibling and she has a job and giving me her my debit card is a means I'll get income back.
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Meowstic
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if you need to be so secretive about why you need so much money it's probably not for a very good reason
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h333
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Yes I would if they tell me why they needed it because I wouldn’t want them to use it for something harmful.
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katf
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You already owe her money.
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Acsel
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(Original post by Anonymous)
As for the jobs, I got a warehouse job 1 hour drive away and my father told me not to go since driving on the motorway at night is hard, he's the one who made me quit it.

Also I got another job where i have to catch the bus twice waking up at 4am and coming back 2.5 hours later because the buses run every 1 hour. It wasn't practical so I quit it.

Now I've got another job which is an easy bus catch there and back. So easily getting jobs is a good thing in my opinion for these reasons.
You would have known about the issues before applying for those jobs though, which could mean that you're making poor decisions without thinking them through. It's entirely possible to interpret that negatively towards paying the money back and why you need it in the first place.

But the points you've made somewhat improve the situation. That said:

You shouldn't be giving the debit card to anyone else. Ignoring that it may well be a breach of terms and conditions, you should be responsible enough to take the money out and give it to your sister yourself. Or come to some sort of agreement on how it'll be paid back, such as a monthly debit. Giving your debit card to someone else and expecting them to take the money out to repay themselves is not a good thing. Trying to get a payday loan, giving someone else your debit card, they're all red flags that you are poor at handling money.

Telling her the reason is a complete 180 on the previous "won't tell her". To go from absolutely not to I will tell her is extremely odd. But not telling would, from her perspective be worse. Whether she wants to loan you the money is up to her.

At the end of the day though, idk why you're asking here. The only person you should be talking to about this is family. There's still no good reason to suddenly need £1400 but it's not something we can help with. You need to talk to your family and explain whatever problem you are having.
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username3890778
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Yh
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StriderHort
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One of my ex pals

'I need £500, all the payday loan places rejected me'

'Smart payday loan places, so let me be clear...you're here because you think i'm stupider than a payday loan place?'

(Trying to give them a plastic card as collateral is simply emotional blackmail btw)
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doodle_333
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Living in a dream world. 1500 is a lot of money, I can't imagine any reason to lend it to you which would sway me. It's also weird you won't say the reason given you're on anon... sounds like the reason is rubbish as well.

Add to that you defaulted on previous loans.

Add to that you keep leaving jobs... getting them is no good thing if you can't or won't keep Them, regardless of any excuses you give.

Having your debit card means nothing. If there's nothing in your account she can't take any money and she has no guarantee there will be any money.

You've been refused payday loans which are literally designed to prey on people who can't make regular money and are desperate. That's pretty damning.
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Anonymous #1
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She said no lol because I owe her money and doesn't trust me. I've given her the reason and she knows I'm in a job and can have my debit card so that's another way she can surely get the money back.

Fair enough.

But I would've given it her if she needed it and never would have asked her to pay it back and that's me.
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Plus7
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(Original post by StriderHort)
One of my ex pals

'I need £500, all the payday loan places rejected me'

'Smart payday loan places, so let me be clear...you're here because you think i'm stupider than a payday loan place?'

(Trying to give them a plastic card as collateral is simply emotional blackmail btw)
I agree and the fact OP won't say what it is means it's probably not essential. They should save instead of wanting such a huge chunk of money from someone who's earned it and entitled to it. If it was £500 I'd understand (easily paid back), but not £1400 lol. What if something else came up OP needed to buy whilst paying his sister back? Too risky.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But I would've given it her if she needed it and never would have asked her to pay it back and that's me.
How old are you? You don't seem to be living in the real world. You're seeing it like this because you're desperate for cash. In reality, you're the broke one that doesn't have a stable job so you can't say what you would do if you were her. You just want her to give you the money. In the nicest way, grow up man. When it comes to money you can't be emotional, it's survival.
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doodle_333
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She said no lol because I owe her money and doesn't trust me. I've given her the reason and she knows I'm in a job and can have my debit card so that's another way she can surely get the money back.

Fair enough.

But I would've given it her if she needed it and never would have asked her to pay it back and that's me.
Easy to say that when it's not happening. Maybe that attitude is why you're broke in the first place.
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