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Scared to lose my virginity

Ok so my names Shalani and I’m 14. I’m a freshman in.everyone always say high schools where you have your first times. And I’m honestly not really ready, but it would be pretty sad for me to leave high school a virgin. A reason why I’m scared is because I have a scar on my vagina. The worst place to to have one, no it’s not a std or anything just a regular scar. I feel like if I’m about to have sex with a guy there gonna see it and say “what is that?!?” And that would be so embarrassing and I really don’t want to have to go through that. Now I honestly don’t know what I would say is he ask me that. I know I have time until I loose it but it’s just been on my mind. Any advice?
Original post by Shalanirose
Ok so my names Shalani and I’m 14. I’m a freshman in.everyone always say high schools where you have your first times. And I’m honestly not really ready, but it would be pretty sad for me to leave high school a virgin. A reason why I’m scared is because I have a scar on my vagina. The worst place to to have one, no it’s not a std or anything just a regular scar. I feel like if I’m about to have sex with a guy there gonna see it and say “what is that?!?” And that would be so embarrassing and I really don’t want to have to go through that. Now I honestly don’t know what I would say is he ask me that. I know I have time until I loose it but it’s just been on my mind. Any advice?


Hi Shalani,

You've said it yourself, you don't feel ready to enter a sexual relationship. If you're not ready, then it's very wise not to get involved with it until YOU are. Don't feel pressured by what others are "apparently" doing.

It certainly isn't "sad" to leave High School as a virgin. It's not a race and truly not everyone does lose their virginity at school. Some lose it at University and some later in life. There's definitely no shame in when or if someone loses it.

As you are only 14, you should also know that as you're under the age of consent, any sexual activity would technically be statutory rape as you are unable to consent due to your age.

Regarding this scar on your vagina, I would assume it's from a minor injury and not anything relating to Female Genital-Mutilation (FGM). If so, I would recommend getting in contact with someone you trust who can escalate this as this practise is illegal in the UK.

However saying that, guys don't particularly get a good look of it during sex. I can assure you they are happy enough just to be there :P I wouldn't worry about it and you shouldn't have any worries anyway until you've reached the age of consent AND emotionally ready.

Best of luck!
(edited 5 years ago)

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