Help An autistic boy has a big crush on me

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
HI
I want to make clear i have nothing against autistic people i just need advice on how to handle the situation.
I am in sixth forum and recently this autistic boy who i have no classes with or mutual friends wrote a love song about me. He preformed it to his music class and some of the lines included things like 'you don't see me' and 'my heart beats for you'.
To say the least i found it creepy. We have no classes together and any contact. Except as were both prefects we had to come in and help with the first years i think i might have asked how was you summer and are you nervous for this year. He some how knew i was dyslexic and started telling me he also was,creepy.

After that i haven't talked to him or looked his direction. He now wrote a song about me and told people that he thinks i'm pretty and will ask my steady. I don't want to be harsh but how do i be clear if he does come up to me that i have zero interest with out being cruel?
Thank you
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Reality Check
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
HI
I want to make clear i have nothing against autistic people i just need advice on how to handle the situation.
I am in sixth forum and recently this autistic boy who i have no classes with or mutual friends wrote a love song about me. He preformed it to his music class and some of the lines included things like 'you don't see me' and 'my heart beats for you'.
To say the least i found it creepy. We have no classes together and any contact. Except as were both prefects we had to come in and help with the first years i think i might have asked how was you summer and are you nervous for this year. He some how knew i was dyslexic and started telling me he also was,creepy.

After that i haven't talked to him or looked his direction. He now wrote a song about me and told people that he thinks i'm pretty and will ask my steady. I don't want to be harsh but how do i be clear if he does come up to me that i have zero interest with out being cruel?
Thank you
Just be very clear and very direct. And look him in the eye. Leave no room for misinterpretation or doubt. You can be straightforward without being cruel.

Don't do any of the 'it's not you, it's me...I'd love to be friends but...' It'll just be confusing to him. Clear unambiguous facts are preferable to lots of euphemism.
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Anonymous #2
#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
HI
I want to make clear i have nothing against autistic people i just need advice on how to handle the situation.
I am in sixth forum and recently this autistic boy who i have no classes with or mutual friends wrote a love song about me. He preformed it to his music class and some of the lines included things like 'you don't see me' and 'my heart beats for you'.
To say the least i found it creepy. We have no classes together and any contact. Except as were both prefects we had to come in and help with the first years i think i might have asked how was you summer and are you nervous for this year. He some how knew i was dyslexic and started telling me he also was,creepy.

After that i haven't talked to him or looked his direction. He now wrote a song about me and told people that he thinks i'm pretty and will ask my steady. I don't want to be harsh but how do i be clear if he does come up to me that i have zero interest with out being cruel?
Thank you
Honestly I know nothing about autism, but I'd try to handle it gently like you would if a "normal" boy had a crush on you and you had to turn him down.
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Anonymous #3
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agree ^^^
he won’t understand if you try to drop signals so just be very clear and say that you’re not interested romantically.
it’s might be because you’ve spoken to him and shown interest that he may have thought that was a ‘sign’ from you. i obviously can’t say this with confidence as i don’t have autism.
hope it goes well.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
agree ^^^ Reality Check sorry
he won’t understand if you try to drop signals so just be very clear and say that you’re not interested romantically.
it’s might be because you’ve spoken to him and shown interest that he may have thought that was a ‘sign’ from you. i obviously can’t say this with confidence as i don’t have autism.
hope it goes well.
..
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Waldorf67
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly I know nothing about autism, but I'd try to handle it gently like you would if a "normal" boy had a crush on you and you had to turn him down.
Except an individual with autism may not always pick up on the subtle social cues of disinterest. I’d say rather than trying to show your disinterested through behaviour (such as ignoring him) just be open, honest and kind. And be clear.

Just ask to have a chat with him, and say that whilst you appreciate him writing a song for you, you really do not see him in that way, and would like to be friends, but only friends.

I feel an individual with autism would much more prefer that, as opposed to receiving signals which are open to interpretation.
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Zoqua
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(Original post by Anonymous)
HI
I want to make clear i have nothing against autistic people i just need advice on how to handle the situation.
I am in sixth forum and recently this autistic boy who i have no classes with or mutual friends wrote a love song about me. He preformed it to his music class and some of the lines included things like 'you don't see me' and 'my heart beats for you'.
To say the least i found it creepy. We have no classes together and any contact. Except as were both prefects we had to come in and help with the first years i think i might have asked how was you summer and are you nervous for this year. He some how knew i was dyslexic and started telling me he also was,creepy.

After that i haven't talked to him or looked his direction. He now wrote a song about me and told people that he thinks i'm pretty and will ask my steady. I don't want to be harsh but how do i be clear if he does come up to me that i have zero interest with out being cruel?
Thank you
As an autistic boy myself, I can try to help you, but everyone with autism is different, so the advice I can give is rather limited.

As someone on here has already said, I always prefer blunt facts to over-complicated, easy-to-see-through and just generally pointless emotional sugar-coating.
Just tell him flat out what you think, but explain your reasons clearly, that would be what I would want if I was in that position(although generally I think relationships are not worth wasting time over).

Of course, there are different scales of autism and every person with autism is different, so I might be giving you completely invalid advice, as we all process information and respond in different ways, as well as having different behavioral traits, so he will probably react in his own way. Just remember to point out what he did wrong(the song for instance), and why you don't want a relationship, because if he understands completely he won't try again a different way, or do that way again to anybody else.

Good luck.
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Student1191
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Wait so you’re dyslexic but expect a normal person??? 🤷🏿*♂️🤔🤦*♂️
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Reality Check
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(Original post by Zoqua)
As an autistic boy myself, I can try to help you, but everyone with autism is different, so the advice I can give is rather limited.

As someone on here has already said, I always prefer blunt facts to over-complicated, easy-to-see-through and just generally pointless emotional sugar-coating.
Just tell him flat out what you think, but explain your reasons clearly, that would be what I would want if I was in that position(although generally I think relationships are not worth wasting time over).

Of course, there are different scales of autism and every person with autism is different, so I might be giving you completely invalid advice, as we all process information and respond in different ways, as well as having different behavioral traits, so he will probably react in his own way. Just remember to point out what he did wrong(the song for instance), and why you don't want a relationship, because if he understands completely he won't try again a different way, or do that way again to anybody else.

Good luck.
Sound advice, I feel
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Zoqua
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(Original post by Waldorf67)
Except an individual with autism may not always pick up on the subtle social cues of disinterest. I’d say rather than trying to show your disinterested through behaviour (such as ignoring him) just be open, honest and kind. And be clear.

Just ask to have a chat with him, and say that whilst you appreciate him writing a song for you, you really do not see him in that way, and would like to be friends, but only friends.

I feel an individual with autism would much more prefer that, as opposed to receiving signals which are open to interpretation.
As someone with autism, I think this sounds like good advice, just remember to completely explain why, as I said before.
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MaxLeach2210
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(Original post by Student1191)
Wait so you’re dyslexic but expect a normal person??? 🤷🏿*♂️🤔🤦*♂️
Wow you're a disgusting human being.
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