Moving in with strangers for second year and i'm nervous
Due to circumstamces (not developing any close friendships in my first year) i am moving in with 4 strangers next week for my second year at uni. 3 of them already know each other closely and the other person has already got there a week before i will. So i am worried that i will be out of place and an outcast. Just some boring guy to share a house with for the year.
I am also not very outgoing or social at alI (i also don't drink alcohol) and they seem to be the outgoing type who go clubbing and stuff (judging by my conversations with them via social media. I have yet to meet them in person). So i am also nervous that they may not like me or think i'm a horrible person if i shut myself in my room a lot (which i do often).
Is this situation common or am i alone in this scary situation?
Do i need to change who i am?
Am i just overthinking this and being stupid?
Does anyone have any advice? It would be appreciated but if not no worries
I am also not very outgoing or social at alI (i also don't drink alcohol) and they seem to be the outgoing type who go clubbing and stuff (judging by my conversations with them via social media. I have yet to meet them in person). So i am also nervous that they may not like me or think i'm a horrible person if i shut myself in my room a lot (which i do often).
Is this situation common or am i alone in this scary situation?
Do i need to change who i am?
Am i just overthinking this and being stupid?
Does anyone have any advice? It would be appreciated but if not no worries
Original post by Shy person
Due to circumstamces (not developing any close friendships in my first year) i am moving in with 4 strangers next week for my second year at uni. 3 of them already know each other closely and the other person has already got there a week before i will. So i am worried that i will be out of place and an outcast. Just some boring guy to share a house with for the year.
I am also not very outgoing or social at alI (i also don't drink alcohol) and they seem to be the outgoing type who go clubbing and stuff (judging by my conversations with them via social media. I have yet to meet them in person). So i am also nervous that they may not like me or think i'm a horrible person if i shut myself in my room a lot (which i do often).
Is this situation common or am i alone in this scary situation?
Do i need to change who i am?
Am i just overthinking this and being stupid?
Does anyone have any advice? It would be appreciated but if not no worries
I am also not very outgoing or social at alI (i also don't drink alcohol) and they seem to be the outgoing type who go clubbing and stuff (judging by my conversations with them via social media. I have yet to meet them in person). So i am also nervous that they may not like me or think i'm a horrible person if i shut myself in my room a lot (which i do often).
Is this situation common or am i alone in this scary situation?
Do i need to change who i am?
Am i just overthinking this and being stupid?
Does anyone have any advice? It would be appreciated but if not no worries
Definitely you are overthinking. Each person with his room making his own routine. Just hope the other ones do not come drunk making a lot of noise or stuff like this. Otherwise there is no issue.
You don't have to change who you are, but maybe take this as an opportunity to be more social. If they're in the kitchen cooking and eating together, go down and talk to them/ eat in the kitchen etc
If you over think it and think they don't like you, it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy and you'll end up retreating in your room all the time. Go in with an open mind and a willingness to be friendly and social and a willingness for you to be open to them. You're focusing on the worst possible scenario, what if they're amazing really nice people. People can still be the clubbing type but friendly
If you over think it and think they don't like you, it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy and you'll end up retreating in your room all the time. Go in with an open mind and a willingness to be friendly and social and a willingness for you to be open to them. You're focusing on the worst possible scenario, what if they're amazing really nice people. People can still be the clubbing type but friendly
Thank you both for the replies
I suppose you are right. I think i should be able to handle any loud drunkenness as long as i keep my door locked. I did put up with it in halls last year. I'm just worried that a student house is a different environment than halls so was wondering if staying in my room was less acceptable or not. If what you say is true then i guess it will be ok.
Thank you for the advice. I do intend to be more social this year at uni by going out more when i don't have any work to do. I am always willing to be friendly and social, its just i often fail to be as social as i want. And i never meant that people who go out clubbing and stuff cant be friendly. I'm sorry if my wording made it seem that way.
Original post by the_queen
Definitely you are overthinking. Each person with his room making his own routine. Just hope the other ones do not come drunk making a lot of noise or stuff like this. Otherwise there is no issue.
I suppose you are right. I think i should be able to handle any loud drunkenness as long as i keep my door locked. I did put up with it in halls last year. I'm just worried that a student house is a different environment than halls so was wondering if staying in my room was less acceptable or not. If what you say is true then i guess it will be ok.
Original post by Erik28
You don't have to change who you are, but maybe take this as an opportunity to be more social. If they're in the kitchen cooking and eating together, go down and talk to them/ eat in the kitchen etc
If you over think it and think they don't like you, it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy and you'll end up retreating in your room all the time. Go in with an open mind and a willingness to be friendly and social and a willingness for you to be open to them. You're focusing on the worst possible scenario, what if they're amazing really nice people. People can still be the clubbing type but friendly
If you over think it and think they don't like you, it will become a self-fulfilling prophesy and you'll end up retreating in your room all the time. Go in with an open mind and a willingness to be friendly and social and a willingness for you to be open to them. You're focusing on the worst possible scenario, what if they're amazing really nice people. People can still be the clubbing type but friendly
Thank you for the advice. I do intend to be more social this year at uni by going out more when i don't have any work to do. I am always willing to be friendly and social, its just i often fail to be as social as i want. And i never meant that people who go out clubbing and stuff cant be friendly. I'm sorry if my wording made it seem that way.
Original post by Erik28
These things take time. You're not going to be a large out going person overnight, take baby steps and gradually build on it. Hang out in the social areas with them, then ask if they want to do things etc until it becomes second nature
Thanks man. I'll do that
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