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I love my boyfriend but I'm not in love with him anymore
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So I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. But I dont feel the same way I used to when we first got together, I feel like that spark has gone. I just don't love him like that anymore and I know I need to break up with him because its not fair on him but I still love him but I just dont think we work in a romantic relationship anymore. But I know hes still in love with me which is what makes it even harder. This is my first ever proper relationship im 19 and hes 25. so I also feel like hes gonna be thinking of settling down soon. I dont want him out of my life because he's still my best friend. I just torn on what to do and how to end it.
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#2
You can't predict how he's going to react, but it isn't fair for either of you to remain in a relationship. Tell him as gently as you can.
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#3
LOL
End it?
Don't be silly, of course the spark goes.
The spark is the eros and isn't even what relationships are about.
End it?
Don't be silly, of course the spark goes.
The spark is the eros and isn't even what relationships are about.
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The problem is I think I might have HPV (genital warts) and I got tested when we had been together after a few months and it was all clear. But I read somewhere that sometimes you might have it and not know that you do , and warts usually appear later on or that the other person might have it and its not visible and thats how they would've passed it to you. I havent been to the sexual health clinic yet I need to book an appointment . I want to hear what the doctors say first then I need to tell him but also I don't know how. I feel like I might have to stick around a bit longer because of this situation
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#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
The problem is I think I might have HPV (genital warts) and I got tested when we had been together after a few months and it was all clear. But I read somewhere that sometimes you might have it and not know that you do , and warts usually appear later on or that the other person might have it and its not visible and thats how they would've passed it to you. I havent been to the sexual health clinic yet I need to book an appointment . I want to hear what the doctors say first then I need to tell him but also I don't know how. I feel like I might have to stick around a bit longer because of this situation
The problem is I think I might have HPV (genital warts) and I got tested when we had been together after a few months and it was all clear. But I read somewhere that sometimes you might have it and not know that you do , and warts usually appear later on or that the other person might have it and its not visible and thats how they would've passed it to you. I havent been to the sexual health clinic yet I need to book an appointment . I want to hear what the doctors say first then I need to tell him but also I don't know how. I feel like I might have to stick around a bit longer because of this situation
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update I don't have genital warts ( lol tmi I know ) . and I don't really find him as attractive anymore and no I didn't lose my virgnity to him
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. But I dont feel the same way I used to when we first got together, I feel like that spark has gone. I just don't love him like that anymore and I know I need to break up with him because its not fair on him but I still love him but I just dont think we work in a romantic relationship anymore. But I know hes still in love with me which is what makes it even harder. This is my first ever proper relationship im 19 and hes 25. so I also feel like hes gonna be thinking of settling down soon. I dont want him out of my life because he's still my best friend. I just torn on what to do and how to end it.
So I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. But I dont feel the same way I used to when we first got together, I feel like that spark has gone. I just don't love him like that anymore and I know I need to break up with him because its not fair on him but I still love him but I just dont think we work in a romantic relationship anymore. But I know hes still in love with me which is what makes it even harder. This is my first ever proper relationship im 19 and hes 25. so I also feel like hes gonna be thinking of settling down soon. I dont want him out of my life because he's still my best friend. I just torn on what to do and how to end it.
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#9
end it
here is why -
First, you need to understand that what you are describing will happen in EVERY relationship you ever have.
After you understand that, here is why you should end it:
For most people, their relationships work as follows:
They meet someone, have that initial spark, rush of hormones and emotions.. then it dies down, they stay together for a while, but it eventually ends..
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat
Until - STOP:
now you are in your late 20s... (most likely)
dating is becoming tiresome...
you have a career...
you want a house and a family...
a small part in your brain is telling you to want kids...
you don't crave excitement as much as reliability any more...
you want warmth and companionship more than fun...
a wedding sounds quite nice...
it would make your parents happy...
your mum wants grandkids after all...
plus if you don't do it now, it will be harder to find guys as you get older...
etc.
So what happens is as these feelings grow, the next guy you meet - you break the cycle.
You meet someone, you have the initial spark.. the spark dies down.. and instead of ending it to find another spark, you get married and commit forever. You sacrifice the fun of a spark, for all of the benefits of a family, life-long companionship, kids, support, a home etc. etc.
---
So whats happening in your relationship is simple:
you are young, far far to young to have hit the STOP point.. you still crave that spark and that excitment...
your boyfriend is in his mid 20s, he is at the STOP point.. or at least getting far closer than you are...
So yes, you should end it... because until you are ready to settle down, you will always be chasing sparks... but understand that its not a problem in your relationship, and if you spend your life chasing sparks, you will end up having a lonely time as you get older.
here is why -
First, you need to understand that what you are describing will happen in EVERY relationship you ever have.
After you understand that, here is why you should end it:
For most people, their relationships work as follows:
They meet someone, have that initial spark, rush of hormones and emotions.. then it dies down, they stay together for a while, but it eventually ends..
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat
Until - STOP:
now you are in your late 20s... (most likely)
dating is becoming tiresome...
you have a career...
you want a house and a family...
a small part in your brain is telling you to want kids...
you don't crave excitement as much as reliability any more...
you want warmth and companionship more than fun...
a wedding sounds quite nice...
it would make your parents happy...
your mum wants grandkids after all...
plus if you don't do it now, it will be harder to find guys as you get older...
etc.
So what happens is as these feelings grow, the next guy you meet - you break the cycle.
You meet someone, you have the initial spark.. the spark dies down.. and instead of ending it to find another spark, you get married and commit forever. You sacrifice the fun of a spark, for all of the benefits of a family, life-long companionship, kids, support, a home etc. etc.
---
So whats happening in your relationship is simple:
you are young, far far to young to have hit the STOP point.. you still crave that spark and that excitment...
your boyfriend is in his mid 20s, he is at the STOP point.. or at least getting far closer than you are...
So yes, you should end it... because until you are ready to settle down, you will always be chasing sparks... but understand that its not a problem in your relationship, and if you spend your life chasing sparks, you will end up having a lonely time as you get older.
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