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Is visiting my boyfriend at uni after 1 week too soon?

So my boyfriend moved to Uni last Friday and our initial plan was to not see each other for two weeks (he's coming home for the weekend as he has to work)

However the last two days he's been pushing for me to come up and visit him this weekend. He's really enjoying himself and he's made friends so far but he said that he really misses me and wants me to meet everyone (I'm not at uni and at the moment our plan is for me to 'move' down there next September).

Although I really want to see him, I've been getting mixed advice from other people as to whether I should go down this weekend or wait for him to get a bit more settled and I'm not really sure what to do.

We've been together six months and its only a 2 and a half hour drive if that makes any difference.

But has anyone else been in this situation and if so what should I do?
Original post by luald4
So my boyfriend moved to Uni last Friday and our initial plan was to not see each other for two weeks (he's coming home for the weekend as he has to work)

However the last two days he's been pushing for me to come up and visit him this weekend. He's really enjoying himself and he's made friends so far but he said that he really misses me and wants me to meet everyone (I'm not at uni and at the moment our plan is for me to 'move' down there next September).

Although I really want to see him, I've been getting mixed advice from other people as to whether I should go down this weekend or wait for him to get a bit more settled and I'm not really sure what to do.

We've been together six months and its only a 2 and a half hour drive if that makes any difference.

But has anyone else been in this situation and if so what should I do?




Do it, dont do it up to you.

If i were in your situation, then I think id give the person some space or establish themselves. 3 or 4 weeks. not as though you have cut contact.

Whatever you choose is fine though as he is asking rather than you forcing.
I'm in a similar position however we have been together near to 2 years. Im the one in Uni and my boyfriend is back home. He is going through a really tough time at the moment mentally. I was going to wait 3 weeks because thats when I was going to first come home for the weekend. However because of what he is going through, I have invited him here. He didn't want to get in the way but I assured him that he wasn't. Its going to happen at some point so why not now. He can just join going to the pub and things like that with me and my new friends as if he is at Uni anyway.

I think you just got to go with and do things that you think are right and will be good for your relationship. If you both are okay with it then whats the problem.
If you want to see each other and you both have the time, then you should go to see him, or makes plans to visit him in the next few weeks.
Reply 4
Original post by username4051886
I'm in a similar position however we have been together near to 2 years. Im the one in Uni and my boyfriend is back home. He is going through a really tough time at the moment mentally. I was going to wait 3 weeks because thats when I was going to first come home for the weekend. However because of what he is going through, I have invited him here. He didn't want to get in the way but I assured him that he wasn't. Its going to happen at some point so why not now. He can just join going to the pub and things like that with me and my new friends as if he is at Uni anyway.

I think you just got to go with and do things that you think are right and will be good for your relationship. If you both are okay with it then whats the problem.


I agree!! I just face timed him and I'm def going down on Friday!! Neither of us are the type to just lock ourselves in his room and be super anti social so I think it'll be fine :-)
The logic to wait makes sense in the hypothetical, the point that changes this is when the person whose at uni is meeting people they like AND asks you to visit without any nudging from you. Everything is as it should be for them, they're not holding onto you as the only source of social happiness but rather see a short visit would bring you into their new world at an important time. Go! Have fun!
Stick to the pre arranged agreement, dont let him gaslight you
not too soon.
You both want to see each other, so there isn't a problem! Ignore everyone else, do what you wanna do; it's your relationship.
Where was the mixed advice?

When people post in the relationship or on any section of the forum it is almost certain they have no real life stake in whatever is being posted, so not seeing your point. the op asked for advice and people post what they think.
Pick a day he isn't pounding the local clunge.
Reply 11
Original post by luald4
So my boyfriend moved to Uni last Friday and our initial plan was to not see each other for two weeks (he's coming home for the weekend as he has to work)

However the last two days he's been pushing for me to come up and visit him this weekend. He's really enjoying himself and he's made friends so far but he said that he really misses me and wants me to meet everyone (I'm not at uni and at the moment our plan is for me to 'move' down there next September).

Although I really want to see him, I've been getting mixed advice from other people as to whether I should go down this weekend or wait for him to get a bit more settled and I'm not really sure what to do.

We've been together six months and its only a 2 and a half hour drive if that makes any difference.

But has anyone else been in this situation and if so what should I do?


Bruh go see him. You've been together ages, you should be past worrying about this stuff. You're his girlfriend, seeing him a couple of days after he arrived wouldn't be worrying to me. It's nice you're giving him space though, shows you're decent and not a jealous control freak. So kudos for that :smile:.
It's totally up to you OP. He wants you there, do you want to go? It doesn't matter what other people think, this is your relationship!
Reply 13
Hello everyone! I am going down on Friday - very gassed :-) thank you for all the advice and support!!

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