(Original post by sixthformer77)
thank you for your help but I have a question is it just my introduction that is really bad or my first argument?
sorry I am just confused with the whole a level essay history structure I don't normally write like this
p.s I got a 8
I dont like much of it because you arent focused on the question.
The focus is fall of the Tsar and contributing factors.
War Losses v other factors.
Try bullet pointing the WW1 factors 1,2,3,4,5,6.
Overview of what happened- then what effect they had on undermining the Tsar.
Your focus is on the wrong question really as its mostly on why they lost the war. That is a different question as to why each of these factors destabilise the Tsar. If you dont answer the question then you get a poor mark.
Some ideas on the effect of the war.
If I lose battles why would that make the tsar weaker?
If I engage in war then what about the cost?
If people die? What effect?
If the battles are also lost because of the Tsar issuing military orders?
If the organisation looks incompetent what effect?
If there is no leadership or the war is unpopular then what effect?
If all the men are away fighting then what effect back home on the people and environment.?