Sexist Pakistani Family

I'm keeping this anonymous. Because if anybody in my family found out I'd probably get killed or disowned. So I have a very religious and strict family to the point I've become depressed. Everytime I asked why I wasn't allowed to wear English clothes (e.g. Jeans, t-shirts, leggings and stuff like that) they always would shout at me and tell me it was because I was a MUSLIM girl but when I asked why my brothers could wear things like that they told me it was because they were BOYS, I can't wear anything except from traditional Pakistani clothing and they forced me to wear the hijab as soon as I got into high school. I'm also not allowed to have any social media apps or else my oldest sister would shout at me and would threaten to tell dad if I downloaded it again. My father is very rude and sexist, he has started to even suggest forcing us to wear long skirts that go up to our ankles because school trousers are too much for him even though he makes us girls wear baggy trousers and starts calling random people on the street whilst he is driving fat, disabled, druggies and etc... He won't even let me in any clubs because I'm a girl and it's his rule but let's my brothers go to any club they want. I'm not even allowed to hang out with my friends to the point they've stopped even asking me, and I feel like I'm going to lose them also, I felt very uncomfortable when I went to hang out with my friends once before for her birthday, but I wasn't even allowed to wear makeup, curl my hair or anything like that, they were calling me a white girl for hanging out with my friends for the first time and I was crying but they didn't care. I have been depressed for a very long time and cry every single night in my bed and if my family asks why are my eyes red I tell them because I was sleeping or something like that because once I told them I was depressed and I was also crying but they just laughed at me and called me an attention seeker. I can't take this no more I feel like running away and going to the police station, I'm too traumatised from this even though I'm only 13 years old, please help. Nobody in my family understands me.

Reply 1

JaydorIV of Nott

ride it out, wait until you're old enough to move out.

Reply 2

Leahmitch

I completely understand how you feel. My parents are African, strict and religious so I can relate to you about having parents who are sexist, rude and evil. My dad is literally Satan. He makes sexist remarks about how I should always be in the kitchen washing dishes because I am a girl. It’s gotten to the point where I’m ready to end my life because he is that rude. I am also really depressed, I have lost confidence because he makes me feel so worthless, I am not allowed to hang out with my friends late or he’ll threaten to beat me. I’m 17 so I only have to put up with him for another two years then I can go straight to uni and not have to live with him again. I would suggest seeing someone or a school councillor perhaps. Don’t let yourself get to the stage I am in which is being severely suicidal. If you need to talk message me💖

Reply 3

MrMusician95

I'm not sure your age but all I'll say is get out asap. Even if that means doing an apprenticeship and skipping uni. Like investment 2020 trainee schemes pay about £21k. That's enough if you really budget to live in London.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by MrMusician95

Are you being serious or ...?

Reply 5

MrMusician95

Original post by Anonymous

Are you being serious or ...?

About which bit? But yes, I am being serious. Get out as soon as you can. If being in that house is making you depressed don't stay for longer than you have to.

Reply 6

_R_

@Leahmitch and OP:

so sorry that you have to live this way. But you'll move on from your parents one day, and that day will be glorious, trust me. PLease just hold on think of the future. If you want to have kids, think of what good parents you'll be. You'll give your kids everything your parents never gave to you. Even if you don't want kids your futures will be so bright. People always yap on about how childhood is great. I'm only 20 but I'm already seeing it's a lie. When you're old enough to be your own person, that's the best time of your life.
Please be alive for the best time of your life ❤️
I'm a message away if you need someone to talk to. I've been there. I survived, and I'm glad I did.

Reply 7

Leahmitch

Original post by _R_

Thank you so much. Your words mean a lot, I’m sorry you were in this place before, I hope that you never have to feel that kind of way again. My god bless your beautiful soul💖

Reply 8

_R_

also, explore different options. If you're thinking of moving away from your family now or in the near future, think about if you'd be safe from them. would they come and find you and hurt you? etc.

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

Im a Pakistani too, this is typical stuff for parents too do. Considering you're only 13 just deal with till you're a bit older and then move out

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Im a Pakistani too, this is typical stuff for parents too do. Considering you're only 13 just deal with till you're a bit older and then move out

I think telling her to deal with it is awful advice. Being in that kind of family environment will destroy her mental well-being. My dad is Pakistani and and my mother is African which is literally the worst combination to have for parents in terms of strictness. My teenage years were the worst, I lost all my confidence and friends because my parents thought they were bad example and that the more I hung out with them the more I’d act ‘white’. Im 24 and I’ve been attending counselling for the past 6 years because I stayed in a family home when Instead I should have ran when I had the chance to.

Reply 11

SMEGGGY

They'll fix you up to marry your 60 yr old uncle in Pakistan next, so don't rebel too much. Avoid any trips to see a "sick relative" in Pakistan.

Reply 12

needsleep

talk to a member in school? or social services? or even childline

Reply 13

Tayyab101

Your situation seems bad but you are a bit young to understand where your parents are going with this. When your old enough you will know if your parents are doing this out of love or just evil. My mom always tell me that the whole world can turn their backs on you but your parents will never. If you need more advice just message me.