Gay flatmate makes me feel VERY uncomfortable! What to do?

You need to nip it in the bud.

You need to say something.

I've recently been through the same. Had a guy playing me, so I told him straight what a jackass he was being and he either needs to step up, or I'll step away. Simple as that. I didn't have time to be playing games. And to my surprise, he stepped up and things have been developing slowly. You don't have time to play games. So just give it to him straight (no pun intended).

You need to be affirmative and tell him something has to happen or nothing will continue to happen. It's not fair of him to demand intimacy but not provide you with intimacy; if that makes sense. He sounds like he wants to be physical, but doesn't want the emotional side of whatever's happening between you too. In other words, he's not emotionally mature/stable to handle what you want from him....

Thank U, Next!

In case anyone still cares about this

We talked about it and it went well!! He told me (again) that he's scared but this time he also said he's willing to try!! Not a relationship yet but being more than friends. I'm not entirely sure what that means but I'll give him his time. it's ok. We've been hanging out a bit these days kissing and stuff. It's good. This might actually be going somewhere!!

in case anyone still cares about this

we talked about it and it went well!! He told me (again) that he's scared but this time he also said he's willing to try!! Not a relationship yet but being more than friends. I'm not entirely sure what that means but i'll give him his time. It's ok. We've been hanging out a bit these days kissing and stuff. It's good. This might actually be going somewhere!!

In case anyone still cares about this

We talked about it and it went well!! He told me (again) that he's scared but this time he also said he's willing to try!! Not a relationship yet but being more than friends. I'm not entirely sure what that means but I'll give him his time. it's ok. We've been hanging out a bit these days kissing and stuff. It's good. This might actually be going somewhere!!

I know it has only been 12 days since this last update, but any update?

Would would you class yourselves as??

I don't know. We've been spending a lot of time together, we've slept together. but it's not just that, we also watch movies and cuddle etc. I'd like to know what we are but I'm a bit scared to bring it up!! There seems to be an unspoken agreement that we pretend to be just friends when we're around others? which annoys me a bit cos everyone knows he's gay anyway so whats he got to hide really??

Slept together as in just in the same bed sleeping or done sexual things?

I don't know. We've been spending a lot of time together, we've slept together. but it's not just that, we also watch movies and cuddle etc. I'd like to know what we are but I'm a bit scared to bring it up!! There seems to be an unspoken agreement that we pretend to be just friends when we're around others? which annoys me a bit cos everyone knows he's gay anyway so whats he got to hide really??

Oh cool, nice! Seems to going smoothly then!

Well you don't have to understand his reasoning, you just have to respect it. Maybe he doesn't want other people to think you're an item or he doesn't want you or him to be glued to one another. For instance if people thought you two were dating, you two would be considered in all eyes as an item and probs would be invited to places only as a couple, not as individuals. He doesn't want to give up his autonomy yet by the sounds of it.

It's nobody's business but your own and so it should be imo! Keep it between you and him. I think when the time comes as say, you are an item, that's when it's alright to let people know. But nothing's been said so it's silly to expect him to announce anything to your friendship group really.

So am I right is thinking he took your virginity then?

Maybe your a homo deep down but in denial

Shag him, you might be gay too and you just find him really hot.

the best reactions are from people who havent even read the thread and dont know what happened

Fair, that makes sense, I do understand that. It's only been like two weeks anyway. I'll give it time!! because as you say, it's going smoothly. I was thinking of asking him out or something. but I'm not sure if he'd want that. All this being together stuff is so hard!! I'm going home for christmas soon and I do want to tell my parents and friends about him but I'm not sure? Maybe that's too soon?? I just want them to know that I'm seeing someone and that its not a girl, like that feels kinda imporatnt

Yeah he did. I'm having mixed feelings about that. Maybe I should of waited. but what's done is done I guess...

The problem is, you two haven't established a link. You're just seeing him casually by the sounds of it. So why would you tell your friends and family about him? You two aren't exclusive, committed, in a relationship or anything.... You're just literally spending time with each other and having sex. You have more feelings than he's willing to admit. The same can't be said about him. If they are being said, nothing has been done about it. So again, I think it be rather foolish of you to speak of it to anyone if it isn't serious (and it isn't serious).

He may be important to you, but are you important to him? That's what you need answering. It's quite obvious (from what you've told us) he doesn't seem to feel as intensely as you do. I wouldn't tell anyone unless it's serious. I mean tell your friends if you want to but if you're unsure of how your parents will react, I would wait until it's someone who you can take home as it will be quite an adjustment for you and your parents.

Not seeing one another over the Christmas break could also change nothing, but could also change everything. He might have a fling with someone else at home, you just don't know. It's OK to wear your heart on your sleeve, but whilst doing so, don't be so reckless chic.

Why do you have mixed feelings about losing your virginity to him?