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Always dependant on a guy for happiness

I have this stupid problem of always relying on a guy to be happy. Its something I always knew my older sister did and I thought it was stupid and I was nothing like that. But I catch myself doing it all the time.

I was in a relationship for 3 years - much longer than I should have been all because I relied on him so much I was procrastinating the break up. Then I was only single for 2 months before I started flirting, dating etc again and after I was no longer satisfied with one guy I'd move onto the next. Then I got into a serious relationship again and after that I swore I was going to be single for awhile and focus on uni and my life and such. Well somehow within only a month of that break up my long time guy friend became a bit more than friends and we started fooling around. I came to realise recently I had real feelings for him and we're going on a 'romantic' trip together in 2 weeks.

I've struggled with depression for years and I don't have many girl friends, they tend to fade after a year or we live fairly far apart and dont see each other much. And I have hobbies I guess but part of my problem I think is I've always felt being with that special someone was always more fun than any of my hobbies, so when I start to feel lonely I feel like I have nothing.

I know I shouldn't connect my happiness with a guy and I also know I shouldn't just avoid relationships all together as a solution, so I guess Im just asking if anyone used to do the same thing and is better at it now or how to watch for boundaries that I might be crossing?

Reply 1

username1039383

story of my life :frown:

has alot to do with unfulfilled love / daddy issues

but Im taking this time to stay single and truly love myself / feel confident without any persons validation and maybe you shoukd try the same

Reply 2

Ben878

I've always been single so I can only say limited advice (although doesn't mean being single doesn't make you look for happiness in others too), however...

I think your query is right, and happiness should be found on your own. Since if things don't work out or you think about the other person too much you will put too much effort into the other person and loose sight of yourself and what you care about....(another fancy way to put it, most times the path to the temple is the temple)

For your hobbies/interests is there anything that you find really relatable? something that you can put happiness, heart etc into? If not look for something new - there will be something very relatable out there whether it's temporary or long term

Take care

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 3

Analyst89

With your depression, see your GP which they may refer you to therapy or give you medication.

Happiness depends on yourself. I am single and find happiness in watching movies, socialising with people etc. Do things that make you happy.

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